


Kai Chen: BTS’ Eighth Member

by amandagra



Category: ASTRO (Band), K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: 8th BTS member, Cute Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, EVERYONE IS WHIPPED, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Jealous Jeon Jungkook, Kim Namjoon | RM is a Sweetheart, Kim Seokjin | Jin Being a Mom, Kim Taehyung | V Is a Sweetheart, Min Yoongi | Suga Is Bad at Feelings, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Original Character, Park Jimin Is a Sweetheart, Protective Bangtan Boys, References to Depression, References to Drugs, but we love him anyways, dont worry im throwing myself off a cliff because of the cliffhanger, high school bts, may become an oc x a member but I am not sure yet, new maknae, thank u for supporting kai chen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-14
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-05-07 00:40:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 22
Words: 66,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14659611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amandagra/pseuds/amandagra
Summary: Kai Chen is a seventeen year old boy from Seoul, South Korea. He has lived in the U.S. for the past two years and his life there has consisted of only going between school, work, and his home. After many days of this boring cycle, Kai is walking home from work when he catches the attention of a guy walking past him: Bang PD.A few moments after being stopped by this guy, Kai is told that he is the perfect guy to help connect some of the boy idols he manages with their international fans.One thing leads to another- and now he is moving back to Seoul in order to join one of the biggest K-POP bands of all time: BTS.Will Kai be able to withstand the pressure being a K-POP star? Or will the stress eat him alive?





	1. Did I Just...?

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> This is a giant introduction and a DISCLAIMER. PLEASE READ because it contains important information about the story and who the character is.
> 
> First, hello. My name is Amanda. I've always wanted to write a fan fiction where the boys are caring and protective over a younger 8th member- so here it is!
> 
> Because this is an AU, songs, albums, dates, music videos, facts, and order of events WILL BE DIFFERENT. It is simply because it is a different universe.
> 
> Also, even those this is typed in English, they are all speaking in Korean unless I state otherwise in the text.
> 
> While I will not be throwing around Korean words at random, I will be using "hyung" and "maknae" because I literally cannot think of an English word for them that doesn't sound weird. (hey, youngster. hey, elder. lolol) Also, I tried my best to research certain aspects about Korean culture, but I am an i-army so if I get a few things wrong, I apologize.
> 
> NOW, LETS BEGIN. HERE'S A QUICK INTRO TO KAI CHEN, the OC.
> 
> Images to enhance the experience will be within the text! In words that are grey, if you click on them it will have an image that will help you visualize the experience better.
> 
> Name: Kai Chen.
> 
> Age: 17
> 
> SET IN: Seoul, Korea. BigHit Building/apartments.
> 
> YEAR: 2015
> 
> He is being used by BigHit to connect BTS with i-armies!
> 
> You will find out more in the fanfiction,, let's start!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My younger sister got that stupid boy band song stuck in my head. 
> 
> "I need you, girl-" I sing, then continue to sing the rest of the song Korean.
> 
> A middle aged man walking past me pauses, doing a double take. I stop singing, face burning and I walk faster in order to try and save even a sliver of my dignity.
> 
> Great. I was singing a boy band song and I'm seventeen year old boy. How embarrassing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FACE CLAIMS:
> 
> Kai Chen: Eunwoo from ASTRO  
> Chen Jae-Hee (Kai's sister): Kim Sejeong

**CHAPTER ONE: Did I just...?:**

I'm usually not one to complain. After all, I had just gotten my monthly paycheck from work, I got high marks on my test- life was good!

 

But damn, it was cold.

 

I walk down the icy streets of New York, [pulling my scarf higher to cover my frostbitten face from the snow](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/e3/03/78/e30378711360012af34e1f761a1f5105--astro-kpop-eunwoo-astro.jpg). I trudge down the street, kicking a rock as I pass.

 

 _Or was it a chunk of ice?_  I silently question _,  Jesus_ , _what is this hellhole? Antarctica?_

 

I get pulled out of my thoughts as I see the familiar white and blue colors of my schools' uniform. And unfortunately, even better, the familiar red hair of my "friend" and his group. Thank god my scarf is covering my face- I hold my breath as they walk towards me and relax when they subsequently walk past me without saying anything. I was not in the mood to deal with them today. I continue walking down the crowded streets of the suburbs, occasionally bumping shoulders with others as they all also walk home from their jobs. I quietly sing to myself.

 

_My younger sister got that stupid boy band song stuck in my head._

 

"I need you, girl-" I sing, then continue to sing the rest of the song Korean.

 

A middle aged man walking past me pauses, doing a double take. I stop singing, face burning and I walk faster in order to try and save even a sliver of my dignity.

 

_Great. I was singing a boy band song and I'm seventeen year old boy. How embarrassing._

 

I quicken my pace to escape the humiliation and because the sun is starting to fall. I try not to shudder as I imagine how angry my parents would be if I arrived home late.

 

I don't want to remind myself of the last time I was late getting home.

 

I turn a corner, finally getting to the alleyway where my apartment is located. I hear loud footsteps behind me- moving quickly, like someone is running.

 

 _Oh, god._ I silently think, heart starting to pound. _Not again. I was just mugged the other day. I just got money from work! Why is this my life? What did I do in my past life? Oh god- I need to get ready to attack. What should I do? I-_

 

I quickly turn around and swing my fist at the person running at me. I lamely hit them in the shoulder and unfortunately, the punch hurts me way more than it hurts them.

 

I pull away, hissing as I feel a burning run up my hand and my cold bones ache. I shake my hand quickly, grumbling and I stare at the guy- _not a mugger, thank god_ \- and my eyes are wide.

 

The man is breathing heavily and I continue to stare at him stupidly, wondering why he was running after me before I realize who I had just punched and I gasp quietly: _It's the man who had just heard me singing!_

 

 _But... don't I know him from somewhere else?_ I wonder, tilting my head.

 

The door is open now, and I hear my sister saying something in English. I turn around to face her, momentarily distracted as I try to focus on what she is saying.

 

"Kai, why are you just standing outside? It's so col- OH MY GOD!" she suddenly screams, jumping up and down, "BANG PD!"

 

[My eyes go wide and I slowly turn around again to face the man.](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/c4/96/81/c49681e806173cb2fa040c85a9f6560b.jpg)

 

_What did she just say?  Bang Pd...? Where do I know that name from- where do I-_

 

I quickly scramble through my memories, eyes narrowing.

 

_Oh shit. That boy band- the song I was singing earlier- his reaction! it all makes sense!_

 

_Did... I just punch the CEO of Big Hit?_

 

_\---_

 


	2. I'm Getting Sued

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Can you speak Korean?" he asks me.
> 
> "No," I quickly respond in english, hoping that me being unable to understand him would get me off of the hook of being sued for punching him.
> 
> He stares at me. I stare at him.
> 
> I suddenly realize he had just asked me that question in Korean.
> 
> I'm getting sued.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapters will get longer as the story starts to pick up, don't worry. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy the story! :)

**CHAPTER TWO: I'm Getting Sued.**

The man- Bang PD, hearing his name be screamed, seems to get flustered and he just smiles at [my sister](https://0.soompi.io/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/31035050/kim-sejeong21-540x304.jpg).

 

"Bang PD!" she breathlessly yells again, seeming to be a little shocked.

 

I try to save my sister from embarrassment and I quietly clear my throat, causing the man to look at me. His eyes brighten- he suddenly seems to remember why he had ran over here in the first place

 

"Can you speak Korean?" he asks me.

 

"No," I quickly respond in English, hoping that me being unable to understand him would get me off of the hook for punching him.

 

 He stares at me. I stare at him.

 

I suddenly realize he had just asked me that question in Korean.

 

_I'm getting sued._

 

[My mouth just drops open a bit ](https://koreaboo-cdn.storage.googleapis.com/2016/10/eunwoo-1-650x894.jpg)at how stupid I just was and he just seems to laugh at me. He looks me up and down and then just walks up and pulls my scarf down, staring at my face.

 

"Nice visuals, and from what I could tell from your 'performance'- a nice voice," he mumbles quietly, mostly to himself and my face turns dark red.

 

_What the hell is he doing? Did he just say... I look good? And- why did he have to say performance like that?!_

 

"Hey, that was a private performance-," I quickly defend before I can stop myself, and then hastily add on, "uh, s-sir."

 

"You can speak Korean, now?" he teases me, smiling confidently now and I can still hear my sister quietly freaking out behind me.

 

I ignore the question and quickly retort, curious, "Why are you... talking to me?"

 

_That came out much ruder than I intended it to. Jesus._

 

He just gives me an understanding smile, replying, "You mean why did I follow you? Well, because I was here on a business trip... and I think you might be the perfect person to help me out while I'm here."

 

I feel my eyebrows raise at that. 

 

"Help you? Me?" I ask, perplexed.

 

My sister, now slightly more recovered from her trip to heaven and back, walked over towards us to join the conversation.

 

"Yeah, him? Of all people? How can he help?" she questions, teasing me- but she seems intensely interested.

 

I shoot her a look and Bang PD laughs, shaking his head.

 

"I am here on a business trip, as I said before, and I came by myself. While I want to say that I am amazing at English," he pauses for a moment and smirks cockily, "I really am not. I dropped and broke my phone getting out of the cab earlier and it had my translator app on it and a bunch of directions to places... What I'm trying to say is, I really need someone who can translate for me. I am scouting around here in order to get ideas on how to better connect BTS to international armies and I'm meeting with a few American companies to see if they will like to have BTS be somehow apart of their business. If you could come along and help translate, I would be very grateful. Please?"

 

I frown, pausing for a long moment and silently ask: _What day is it today? Friday? So the next two days are the weekend- school isn't an issue. But... my job?_

 

"I don't really think I can. I ha-"

 

"No! He can do it!" my sister shouts for me and she hits me in the arm, giving me a look like "are you serious?!".

 

Bang PD just grins and shakes his head again, "Look kid, I'll make sure to compensate you for your time."

 

I look up quickly at the word "compensate".

 

_Money?!_

 

_...I am slightly disappointed in how simple of a person I am._

 

Bang PD's grin turns into a bright smile as he notices my weakness and he states, "I'll give you five hundred dollars a day, just for the next two days. Then I'll be on my flight back."

 

_If... I miss work and happen to get fired, five hundred dollars a day for two days- one thousand dollars- would be more than enough to hold me over until I can find another job. Way more than enough. It will be enough to give to mom and dad for at least three months. They wont be angry with me for three months._

 

My mood brightens considerably. I quietly hold out my hand to shake his.

 

"Okay, I'll do it." I state, [face determined](http://i1.wp.com/www.koreaboo.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/3-24.jpg?resize=480%2C720).

 

Bang PD nods while smirking, like he already expected it and he grabs my hand and shakes it. "Great. I know you know who I am. Who are you?"

 

"Kai Chen."

 

\---


	3. It's Not Going to Get Any Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "...Now, that you've watched all of their music videos and I've given you a full introduction. Starting from their pre-debut, to now. I've explained to you who is apart of the hyung and maknae line , who the dance, sing, and rap line are, and the nicknames and key traits of each member. I've explained to you the fan base, the fan theories- everything. Do you think you understand?"
> 
> I blink slowly, feeling a headache coming on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI guys!
> 
> I am so happy to see that you guys are enjoying the story! I love writing this story, so I'll keep it up. Don't worry, Kai will meet BTS in a few chapters. I just want to make sure I set up the story right. SO, I forgot to show you what Kai's sister looks like! Her photo is going to be right below. ALSO, I am going to start having images by using the LINKS feature. If you go back into earlier chapters, you will see that I have changed it there, too. I hope you continue to enjoy the story! Thank you, guys.
> 
> -Amanda

** CHAPTER THREE: It's Not Going to Get Any Better**

[I look at myself nervously in the mirror](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CnltiDBXYAAY1UU.jpg), feeling my heart pound. I'm wearing the only "formal" clothing I had. My hands move to smooth out some of the wrinkles in my white dress shirt (see picture above) and I brush the stray dog fur off of my black pants.

 

_Stupid dog._

 

I turn to look at [Chibi, my dog](https://vetstreet.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/a2759f8/2147483647/thumbnail/645x380/quality/90/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fvetstreet-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fde%2Ffd%2F75e9c243487c9bca18acc468fcd1%2Fgolden-retriever-AP-0ND9MX-645sm52714.jpg), who stares back at me with round, happy eyes. I smile, unable to contain myself.

 

_I take it back. I have sinned._

 

I walk over and scratch his head, feeling some of my stress melt away.

 

_Why am I so nervous, anyways? There are literally no stakes- I just stand next to him and translate. Nothing can go wrong._

 

"Then why do I have such a bad feeling?" I quietly mumble to myself out loud, staring off into space.

 

[My sister](http://d263ao8qih4miy.cloudfront.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/school05-10138.jpg) quickly barges into my room and I look alarmed.

 

"Oi!" I snap, annoyed and I move away from Chibi, "Chen Jae-Hee! What did I say about coming in without knocking?"

 

She ignores me yelling and smiles, exclaiming in a sing-song voice, "Brother~! Are you ready for the most important day of your life?"

 

I stare at her dumbly and just reply, "Huh?"

 

_Most important day of my life?_

 

"Today is the day where you make sure that I can meet BTS!" she exclaims, like it was the most obvious thing in the world and her face slowly burns as she shyly adds on the next part, "And where you ask if Taejin or Vkook is a thing..."

 

_Tae... what? Vkook? What is that?_

 

I sigh, shaking my head and quickly tell her, "I'm working for him, Jae. I'm not going to ask him for favors when he's already giving me a lot more money than needed for my help."

 

"Kai, what is wrong with you?"

 

_A lot._

 

My eyes narrow and I sigh, mumbling, "Listen, what's the big deal about this boy band anyways?"

 

She gasps, and then takes a deep breath, pinching the bridge of her nose. 

 

"Brother," she says dramatically, lecturing me, "You are translating for Bang PD, the great CEO of Big Hit, a.k.a. the father of BTS, and you didn't do research on who BTS is? You didn't do research on the band you are going to be doing business for during the next two days?"

 

_Research...? Now that I think of it, shouldn't I know something about the band? Isn't Bang PD doing work for that band- BTS? If I'm translating, I should know the concepts of what they're talking about._

 

I feel my stomach start to get butterflies as Jae-Hee's words start to actually make sense. It's dangerous when she starts to actually make sense.

 

"I... didn't think of researching until now," I admit, my face red now.

 

She claps me on the shoulder, "Don't you fret, big brother. I, your gracious sister, am willing to give you a rundown of all of the members."

 

I exhale the breath I didn't realize I was holding and quickly say, "Thank you, Jae. Really. I-"

 

"Wait," she states, holding up a finger.

 

_I knew it. I knew she was being too nice._

 

"I want you to arrange it so I can meet them at some point," she demands, smiling.

 

I pause for a long moment.

 

"...Fine," I tell her.

 

"I'll get my laptop!" she yells and sprints out of the room.

 

I run a hand through my hair, looking at the alarm clock on my dresser. One hour until Bang PD arrives. He told me he'd come and pick me up. It should be enough time to research what I need to know about BTS... 

 

_..Right?_

 

I hear Jae's steps quickly grow louder as she runs back to my room and she quickly enters through the door, sitting on my bed with her legs crossed and she pats the empty space next to her. Chibi jumps down from the bed, unamused with the commotion and he quickly trots out of the room. 

 

I plop down next to her, staring at the screen as she pulls up Google and she starts furiously typing. I lean in, staring at the screen.

 

"So," she says in a matter-of-fact tone, "This is everything you need to know."

 

....

....

....

 

**(45 Minutes Later):**

"...Now, that you've watched all of their music videos and I've given you a full introduction. Starting from their pre-debut, to now. I've explained to you who is apart of the hyung and maknae line , who the dance, sing, and rap line are, and the nicknames and key traits of each member. I've explained to you the fan base, the fan theories- everything. Do you think you understand?"

 

I blink slowly, feeling a headache coming on.

 

_I did not realize that there could be an entire band of completely handsome and completely talented guys. There's usually at least one weak link- one flaw.... so... how is this band flawless? Oh god, Jae is rubbing off on me. They're just seven guys! Jesus. Just a band of guys._

 

"Kai Chen!"

 

I quickly look up, snapped out of my thoughts of seven freakishly flawles- 

 

_No. Stop it._

 

"Do you think you understand?" she repeats, raising an eyebrow and looking at me seriously.

 

I nod numbly, overloaded with information.

 

She pulls up a picture of all of [them.](http://www.kpopfans.net/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/11402886_1078244012190860_8715967679222182514_o-2.jpg) 

 

"Now, one more time. Tell me all of their names." she says as she turns the screen towards me.

 

"Ah- uhm... Taehyung a.k.a. V, Jimin, Yoongi a.k.a. Sugar, J-Hope, Jungkook, Jin, and RM."

 

"Suga! It's Suga! Why do you keep saying Sugar?" she exclaims as she starts to pull her hair out.

 

I blink, eyes wide, "I'm sorry! I don't know!"

 

"Don't call him S-" she starts, but we are interrupted by the doorbell ringing.

 

_Oh God._

 

She looks at me, sighing deeply and she shakes her head.

 

"You're just going to have to roll with it, brother," she tells me and I can feel my heart start to pound.

 

"Do I look okay?" I ask her, my eyes wide.

 

She just gives me a nervous face and she replies solemnly, "It's not going to get any better. You just need to go."

 

I shoot her a glare as she pulls me up and leads me down the hallway. I pull my arm away, getting her off of me and I pull open the door.

 

_Here I go._

 

\---

 


	4. What Happened?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I notice that the limo has been making a giant loop around the neighborhood.
> 
> Is it.. possible? That he's here to talk to me... only me? About... BTS...?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS IMPORTANT TO THE STORY SO PLEASE READ:
> 
> Hey guys! This is going to be where some of the facts start changing from real life. I NEED U, the song he was singing, is not going to have been released yet despite it being 2016. (you'll see why he knows it despite it not being out). This change in I NEED U's release date is mainly because I want Kai to join right when they mainly begin the storyline of all of their music videos. That is all! Okay, thanks again for reading and I hope you are enjoying reading this as much as I am enjoying writing this.
> 
> -Amanda

**CHAPTER FOUR: What Happened?**

[Another man](http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--RA1eH62U3s/T_Vt0IUExXI/AAAAAAAACuA/DWYR1cOlIV8/s1600/392487_437358829629414_1258629650_n.jpg) is standing in the doorway wearing a suit and sunglasses. I frown as fantasies about him being a spy fill my head.

 

"Kai Chen?" he asks and I nod, bowing slightly.

 

_Should I be scared that he knows my name?_

 

"Bang PD is waiting for you in the car outside," he states and steps to the side so I can walk out.

 

I relax as the bad endings of spy movies slowly leave my mind.

 

_He's a famous manager- of course he would have people driving him and working with him right now._

 

I glance back at Jae one more time and she gives me a smile and a thumbs up while whispering, "Remember our deal!"

 

I wave her away, annoyed, and I walk out, hearing the door shut behind me and my eyebrows shoot up as I see the long black limousine parked in the street.

 

_Is this what we are driving in...? It's so fancy...  
_

 

I stop walking in the middle of my driveway and glance back at the guy who seems to sense my confusion.

 

"That is the ride we are taking," he says seriously and then walks up to the limo and opens the door for me.

 

[I step into the limo](http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_h937HNtz6ek/SwJvdvRBrOI/AAAAAAAAE50/MGaG-iMfaYA/s1600/limo-interior-11.jpg) and see Bang PD sitting at the end, holding a glass of alcohol in his hand. He nods over to the seat near him.

 

"Come and sit, kid." 

 

_He really likes showing off his money, huh?_

 

I sit down and I feel the engine start in the car as it slowly starts driving down the street.

 

"So, sir... where are we going to first? I think it'll help me translate better if I know exactly what we will be doing-" I start, already focused on work, but he quickly interrupts me, smiling.

 

"Ah, Kai, we aren't working today," he says, and he can see my face change in a slightly bad way and he quickly adds on, "Of course- you are still going to be payed for your time... Actually, I think that the rewards you will receive from your time here today will be invaluable."

 

_What is he even saying? What rewards am I getting from going on a joyride with him?_

 

Just then, the phone of the man who picked me up at the front door just moments ago starts ringing. I look at him in the front seat and my mouth drops open as he answers the phone and starts carrying on a conversation in perfect English.

 

_Jesus, is Bang PD still mad at me for punching him? Maybe I was right. Maybe I've been kidnapped- and no one is ever going to hear from me again. The next time they find me, I'm going to be cut into little pieces and in a lake._

 

"If I'm not here to translate..." I slowly start, afraid to ask, "then why am I here?"

 

"I'll just cut to the chase," he huffs, seeming to give up on whatever kind of "speech" he had prepared and he puts his glass down and looks at me seriously, "I want to talk to you about joining my company. About joining BTS."

 

A long silence fills the car as I stare at him in confusion.

 

I then burst out laughing, tilting my head back.

 

_Ahhh, I get it now. He's messing with me. Haha, you scared the rookie worker. I get it._

 

The guy has turned around in his seat now to stare at me, slightly perplexed and Bang PD just smiles.

 

"This has been a funny, funny joke," I say lightheartedly, but in reality I am done with the jokes and I glance awkwardly around the limo. I fidget with my sleeves, unsure on what to do with myself.

 

"Kai, I'm serious."

 

I notice that the limo has been making a giant loop around the neighborhood.

 

_Is it.. possible? That he's here to talk to me... only me? About... BTS...?_

 

"If you are, by any chance, being serious... then why me? I'm not some polished trainee. You don't even know me," I tell him, but my mind still is set on the idea that this is a joke. If I hit him with a bunch of obvious facts- he won't be able to deny my insistences that he is messing with me.

 

"Don't I? I'll let you know, Kai, you had me interested as soon as I passed you on the street," Bang PD informs me and I feel my head hurting a bit from how crazy this entire situation is.

 

I just say, "Explain."

 

The man on the phone glances at me in the review mirror from how short I am with Bang PD, but Bang PD himself seems to understand and he just smiles and says, "Sure."

 

"I came on this trip to the U.S. for the reason I already told you earlier. I wanted to see how to better connect BTS to it's international fans because lately, their popularity has been skyrocketing across the globe. Often, the members have expressed guilt over not being able to communicate as well as they would like to with their non-Korean fans and I was here to help strengthen the connection. While I was making deals with companies to help expand BTS' influence in the U.S., today I was supposed to hold an audition. I had asked for Koreans who can speak perfect English, and have the basics grasped of singing, dancing, and have good visuals. If you put two and two together... yes, I was looking for another member for BTS. This 8th member, while still being able to fit perfectly into the boyband that everyone loves so well, could release English songs from time to time and be more active internationally."

 

_My mind suddenly remembers something that had happened the other day:_

 

_He looks me up and down and then he just walks up and pulls my scarf down, staring at my face._

 

_"Nice visuals, and from what I could tell from your 'performance'- a nice voice," he mumbles quietly, mostly to himself and my face turns red._

 

....

....

 

_Was he seeing if I would be a good candidate to become the next member? No way. I still don't..._

 

"Don't you already have someone who speaks fluent English?" I say slowly, finally feeling that hour of intense research with Jae starting to pay off.

 

He sighs- it seems that he was expecting this question. "Yes. Kim Namjoon, or RM, speaks English. He is fluent, but not completely. Also, he is only one member in a group of seven guys. It is hard for him to singlehandedly translate for all of the guys and carry them through interviews that are done internationally. Plus, many of their fans might become upset if he starts producing English songs. I believe with a new member, they won't mind as much and it will pave the way for Namjoon to begin creating his own songs in English for international fans. Besides, he is still working on writing and singing songs in English- the rhyming and having it all make sense can be difficult. If you- or someone like you- could speed up the process- I'm sure he and the company will be grateful. It isn't enough to stay strictly a band who caters only to our Korean audience, who we love so much- no doubt, but BTS has started getting backlash on how with their rising popularity internationally, they have not adjusted."

 

I find what he's saying starts to make sense and I am getting nervous, continuing to be in denial. "Still... you don't know that I am idol material. Nevertheless BTS material," I say, as memories of some of the music videos I managed to watch with Jae fill my head.

 

_They had good voices, good dance moves, and even better faces... What was I compared to them? Nothing. Literally nothing._

 

"As I said before, I was interested in you as soon as I passed you on the street. It was a perfect coincidence that I heard you singing a song by BTS. A song that hasn't been released yet- by the way. At first I was excited because you had a good voice and if I did end up choosing you to be the eighth member- it seemed that you were such a big fan to be singing a song that we have only publically teased ten seconds of that you knew all of their songs already and would probably not need to learn them. If that were the case, we would have been able to debut you much faster than the other candidates."

 

_They've... only leaked ten seconds of that song I had stuck in my head? Are you saying that Jae is such a big fan she played that ten second snippet so many times I managed to get it stuck in my head? What is wrong with her?!_

 

I sigh. "But I'm not a huge fan-" I start to tell him and he interrupts me again.

 

"I realized that you weren't as soon as you punched me and your sister started screaming my name. I had walked past you at first... but I realized that I needed to take this chance opportunity to get to know you. I ran to catch up to you. As soon as I got there, a bunch of ideas popped into my head on what I should do. I decided that I would first figure out your name and then arrange a reason for you to meet me tomorrow, so that I would have time to research you and I would ensure that I would be able to meet you again. If I decided that you would be a good candidate, then I would tell you to join my company- as I have just done. If I decided you really were not a good fit after all, I just would have had you translate for me for the next two days at the auditions and have him-" he nods towards the guy in the front, "-pretend that he wasn't fluent in English."

 

The guy in the front finally speaks up, eyes resentful. "He promised me two days off as his translator and I had scheduled a spa appointment."

 

I try to hold in my laughter as I stare at the guy.

 

_Him? The spa?_

 

"He was very sure that you would not be a good fit," Bang PD explains and I tilt my head, eyes narrowing as I decide if I am offended or not.

 

"But we found [some videos of you](https://www.allkpop.com/upload/2016/09/content/cha-eun-woo_1475188914_c2.jpg) online from two years ago that says otherwise. For someone who seems to be so hesitant at this opportunity and seems to have zero confidence in becoming an idol, you have a lot of experience and- dare I say- talent."

 

I sigh, looking down as my heart starts to pound.

 

_I knew this would come up as soon as he said he researched me._

 

Bang PD continues, raising an eyebrow as he smiles, "What is there to be upset about? You used to be a promising trainee in Korea [at another company](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fantagio) and were seen to be an up and coming idol two years ago... until you moved here. From the few interviews you gave in videos by the company, it seemed that being an idol was your passion. What happened?"

 

I stare off into space, his questions sending my mind into a whirl.

 

_He's right. It was my passion... so..._

 

_What happened?_

 

\---


	5. "Sometimes, You Have to Close Some Doors..."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I remember the day I had been called by Fantaigo and chosen as one of their trainees. I had felt hope- I had felt joy.
> 
> That was all gone now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I know that the story is slow moving- but it is just so I give the main character good development! He should be at Big Hit Ent. starting next chapter and meeting with some of the members by then or the chapter after that. Thanks for your patience- and I again hope you're enjoying the story.
> 
> -Amanda

** CHAPTER FIVE: "Sometimes, You Have to Close Some Doors..." **

****

**Two years ago: July 5th, 2014**

[Fantaigo Trainee Practice Room #3](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/98WnuH6-l7c/maxresdefault.jpg) **(A/N: the company Kai used to be apart of, if you did not click on the image the last chapter. The person in the front center is Eunwoo, Kai's face claim.)**

 

I breathe heavily, jerking my body to the right as I follow the dance moves of the rest of the trainees. I stare at my sweaty image in the mirror, eyes serious. I move my hand over my face and kneel down- and then the trainees pause and start to snicker quietly. I peek out from in between my fingers and see the trainees all still standing up. I groan.

 

I messed up the choreography again.

 

The dance instructor who was observing us in the back of the room angrily presses a button on the stereo and stops the music. He walks towards the front of the room.

 

“Chen Kang Dae!”

 

I sigh, looking down as he uses my full name. My trainee name is “K”. I am rarely called anything else. I quickly stand up and bow my head, arms at my sides.

 

The kids all watch, faces either reflecting amusement, pity, or even hope- hope that I would be let go by the company. 

 

It was no secret that I am a rising star at Fantaigo- I have gotten the most compliments, the most interviews, the most opportunities, the most attention. It has turned the other trainees against me- despite my best attempts to stay humble and to befriend them. I was lonely, but...

 

_This is my dream._

 

He gets in my face, eyes angry and skin red. “Your name means ‘strong’, yet you are performing like you are the weakest trainee in here!” he yells, and I hear a few more laughs from the other trainees.

 

He turns away from me and snaps at them, “Quiet!”

 

“Chen Kang Dae, you have been like this all week! An idol needs to be perfect all of the time- dependable all of the time. You cannot just take a break whenever you want to! You are property of the company, and you need to act like an idol of the company every single second you are here!”

 

He stops and then goes again to the back of the room, standing next to the stereo.

 

“We all need to be perfect,” he adds on, eyes angry, “Which is why we are going over the routine now for an extra hour!”

 

The trainees start to let out a quiet groan and a small murmur rises amongst them as they all shoot me glares. I can’t help but hear the whispers.

 

_The company won’t even just punish him- they punish all of us for his mistakes so he doesn’t look bad._

_He thinks that practice is a joke- that’s why he never tries hard. He thinks he was born talented_

_He’s so full of himself._

_What a joke._

 

“Everyone, begin again!” he demands and presses the button on the stereo.

 

The song fills my ears and I mechanically move my body to the beat with the rest of the trainees, eyes dull.

 

I have always stayed quiet and performed well. I knew how to act nice and shy in front of the camera. However, this week was different. I had fumbled over my dance moves. My voice had cracked. I had snapped at someone who had bumped into me in the hallway. My mind is on something else that weighed my body, mind, and soul down.

 

My father had just lost his job earlier this week, again. Time after time, he was dismissed from his position for the reason “aggressive behavior in the office”. That was the nicest thing his rich friends could bribe my father’s numerous bosses to put down as his official reason for dismissal in the workplace. My father harassed the women at work- he cussed at them, flirted with them, and eventually hit them. The hitting part is what gets him fired. Recently this week, he had hit the wrong woman. She was the wife of a very powerful CEO, someone who my dad’s rich friends did not dare to go against. My dad is now blacklisted by most of the companies in Korea- and is out of luck for a job. We haven’t had any money coming in for days... it’s made my father less and  less tolerant of my life as a trainee- who could be cut at any minute and does not make a lot of money.

 

I shake my head a bit as I dance, eyes annoyed.

 

He.. was aggressive. Towards women. Like he was towards my mom. My mom... He needed a replacement. For someone to have power over.

 

If it wasn’t women at the office, it was me.

 

I laugh bitterly, very quietly under my breath as I jerk my head to the right and bend down with the rest of the trainees.

 

Sweat drips on the floor. I breathe hard. I fumble again. The trainees groan and grumble. The music stops. The instructors footsteps are loud as he walks over to me. He pulls me sleeve and yanks me up.

 

“Out! Out if you are not going to be focused! Don’t hold back those who are more dedicated than you!”

 

He shoves me out. I stare at the wall. The door slams behind me. 

_I need to get myself together. I need to stop thinking about them. My father and my... mom._

 

I walk down the bright hallway, trying to clear my head. The air conditioning blasts down on me, blowing through my hair and making my sweat feel cold on my body. I go into [the dorms](https://casualhomefurnishings.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Excellent-Dorm-Room-Ideas-for-Guys.jpg) and plop down on my bed, putting an arm over my head and closing my eyes. 

 

After barely a second of peace, my phone rings. I grab it and pull it up to my face and open my eyes- staring at the caller ID.

 

Father. 

 

I answer quickly. 

 

“Hello, Father.” 

 

He grunts quietly as a greeting. “Boy, I have some news for you. I found a job.” he tells me, seeming proud.

 

“That’s great, sir,” I reply, sighing in relief- but I’m still nervous. Everything with him has a catch.

 

“Listen to me, it’s in America-“

_Here it is. The catch._

 

I feel myself shut down.

 

“-and I have a woman down there who I have been talking to for a while. I love her- I truly do. Do you understand? If I marry her- I can become a citizen and we can all live down there. I have already been promised a high paying job down there and-“

 

“But what about Fantaigo? My debut?” I ask him quickly, my passion getting ahead of my wits. I grip the phone. 

 

The line goes quiet for a long time and his voice is low when he speaks again.

 

“Don’t interrupt me again, boy. Listen, I won’t humor your fantasies of being a ‘k-pop star’ any longer! Music was a stupid interest of your mother’s and is a waste of your time!” he snaps, and seems to pause at the mention of my mom. However, after finally mentioning her- it seems to open all of the floodgates.

 

 “I do not understand why you insist on carrying on her wishes! You will never be as talented as it takes to be in a k-pop band or to be a celebrity. You’ll come to America with me and get a well paying job. You’ll help support this family and be a real man! Not some little boy who sings and dances whenever he pleases while I have to work to put food on the table for your sister!” 

 

His screaming echoes in my ears, the words clang around in my head. The line is silent for a long time.

 

“What about my contract?” I try feebly, my voice very, very soft.

 

“That piece of paper Did I not tell you?” he asks, and it sounds like he is smirking now- mocking me, “I got a letter in the mail telling me I need to renew it. It was only a two year contract. In a week, it’ll die. You’re done, boy.”

 

I can’t find anything to say. I feel as if the air has been sucked out of me. I know that I’ve lost. I remember the day I had been called by Fantaigo and chosen as one of their trainees. I had felt hope- I had felt joy.

 

That was all gone now.

 

He clears his throat. “I am coming to pick you up now. Pack your things. You need to help clean up the house so we can move,” he says shortly and he hangs up- leaving me with my phone in my hand and my eyes dazed.

 

I slowly stand up, my hands shaking a bit as I mechanically move and shove my loose clothes into my suitcase and pack up my school supplies. Some trainee walks in- probably someone who was told to check in on me by the dance instructor. His eyes go wide as he sees me packing.

 

“Hey- hey man, what are you doing?” he asks, voice anxious. 

 

He must be one of the nicer ones to not be screaming out in joy at the sight of me leaving.

 

I start to roll my bedsheets and I cannot find words adequate enough to explain, so I just stay silent. 

 

“Hey, listen... Kai,” he says, using my nickname, “Don’t take what he said personally. You are an amazing singer and dancer. And a nice guy. So don’t go now! You have so much potential- the most out of all of us. Don’t you want to achieve your dreams?”

 

I sigh, eyes turning guilty as he gets the wrong idea. “No.. that’s not why I’m leaving,” I whisper quietly.

 

“It isn’t?” he questions, and seems highly doubtful and he continues to try and convince me. “The dance instructor felt guilty after you had left. He knows something has been going on with you all week. He feels sorry.”

 

I feel even more guilty at this bad timing and I snap, “That’s not why I’m leaving, okay?!”

 

The guy’s eyes go wide for a second and then his gaze hardens into a glare. “I was just trying to help, man,” he tells me and he turns around and walks out.

 

I don’t miss him whispering, “No wonder no one wants to make friends with him..”

 

I put my bedroll on top of my suitcase and I pulled it behind me as I walked out of my dorm. I could feel multiple eyes on me as I walked down in the hallway. For trainees, most eyes were happy or confused. For executives and employees, their eyes were pure terror.

 

Some of the employees try to come up to me, eyes wide. They grab at my sleeves occasionally- murmuring my name. They tell me to stop moving. They ask me what I am doing.

 

_I cannot disobey my father._

 

I walk into my boss- Na Byeong-jun’s- office and I slowly close the door behind me. I can feel people start to crowd outside of the office, trying to hear a snippet of what is going on.

 

He looks up at me, at first casually, then he seems shocked as he sees my bags. 

 

“Chen Kang Dae..” he slowly says, and I feel another pang of guilt. 

 

He was always so kind to me. He always encouraged me. I would easily say he was a better father than my own- even if I have only been with him for two years.

 

“Sir, my contract is not being renewed,” I softly say, I’m not able to meet his gaze so I lower my head into a respectful bow.

 

There is a long pause. 

 

“Why?” he asks shortly, and I can hear the hurt in his voice. 

 

I pause, and then slowly start to mumble- since he is the only one who has even a sliver of an idea of what I have going on: “My father, sir.”

 

He just stares at me, eyes now less angry with me and more sympathetic.

 

“Chen Kang Dae... you hold so much promise. I swear, give it one more year- you can easily debut and gain massive success. Does your father not understand this?”

 

I stay silent, head bowed. I think of my sister- hungry because there is not enough food on the table. I think of the words my father had said. How I would never be talented enough to become an idol. 

 

I open my mouth finally to respond, and that’s when the door opens and my father comes shoving through the gathered crowd and into the room. There’s mumbling as everyone starts talking to each other and he sighs and shuts the door loudly behind him- holding the letter from the company asking for my renewal.

 

I automatically stand still and stay quiet, like a statue.

 

“Has my son not yet told you of his decision?” he asks, eyebrows raised.

 

Mr. Na just stares at him and then with restrained politeness, he replies, “Yes. He just did. But- I strongly request that he- and you- reconsider.”

 

He holds his tongue and stops himself from saying anything worse- because he knows what will happen to me if he does not. 

 

“Reconsider? What is there left to reconsider? From what I have heard by roaming these halls from fellow trainees, my son has been doing poorly at dance practice and singing lessons. He is clearly not idol material!” 

 

I squeeze my eyes shut and so does Mr. Na. Practically everyone in the company knew that I was having an off week- since the instructors had called him who had called me multiple times to talk about it- and this had given my father the perfect chance to make a rash decision with no hesitation. Most of the trainees wanted me out of here, so they must have laid it on thick about my recent failings when they realized it was my father who was walking through the building. Now that he had even a little bit of evidence that his actions might be “right”, his mind is set. 

 

The criticisms by my fellow trainees have now further convinced him of what he had just told me over the phone: that I’ll never be an idol.

 

“Mr. Chen,” Mr. Na starts, “I assure you that Chen Kang Dae is one of the most talented and promising train-“

 

My father slams the paper down on the table and Mr. Na and I jump slightly. “I think you just want to continue taking our money- for training, for clothes, for board- for everything! I’m done. My son can clearly not be an idol if he is still messing up and being distracted in his training. We are moving to America next week. I am taking him home to pack. I wish you good luck with your trainees, sir, but I won’t let you fool my son into thinking that he will debut one day- when he never will.”

 

My father looks at me, eyes pissed and he gives a short nod to the door. I pull my bags behind me as I walk out- pushing myself through the crowd of trainees and executives who stare at me. I would be lying if I said I didn't see a couple smirks. In the sea of people- I see the boy who yelled at me earlier. He stares, a little stunned. They must have all heard the loud conversation through the door.

 

Anyone could’ve.

 

I sigh, clenching my jaw and continue pulling my bag behind me [as I walk out](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/67/a1/4b/67a14b68c127519d31bdccbb59bf3257.jpg). I suppress the urge to yell at them. They've ruined my dream. My dad follows right behind me.

 

The doors of the Fantaigo building close shut behind me for the last time.

 

\---


	6. "...In Order to Open Others".

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bang PD continues, raising an eyebrow as he smiles, "What is there to be upset about? You used to be a promising trainee in Korea at another company and were seen to be an up and coming idol two years ago... until you moved here. From the few interviews you gave in videos by the company, it seemed that being an idol was your passion. What happened?"
> 
> I stare off into space, his questions sending my mind into a whirl.
> 
> He's right. It was my passion... so...
> 
> What happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!! Thank you all for reading the story! Just a quick reminder about three things that will probably enhance your reading experience:
> 
> 1.) If there is text that is underlined/gray and it is not the name of the chapter, chances are it is an image! If you click on it, it will show you a picture that I had in mind while writing the chapter! It will help you better envision what the setting, Kai, and other characters and situations look like. If you didn't see the images earlier, go back into the earlier chapters and look! It will make this story a lot more immersive!
> 
> 2.) Always read the chapter summaries! Sometimes, it is a sneak peak or highlight of the current chapter- but other times (LIKE IN THIS CHAPTER SUMMARY) it is a recap of an important moment that happened earlier that you will need to have in mind while reading the current chapter. I try to upload often, but it is still easy to forget details in between chapters and over time.
> 
> 3.) If you did not read my giant disclaimer at the beginning of the series with the story summary (and you are too lazy to go back and read it- because same), let me paraphrase it all! This is an AU (alternate universe), which means that certain scenarios including dates that songs are released, content of music videos, content of albums, photoshoots, interviews, backstories of the members, situations, etc. can and will be altered! I also might have some songs that I like be Kai's songs that he has made. Basically, I will be changing a heck ton. Relax and do not worry about the accuracy to BTS right now-- think of it as its own story.
> 
> AND THAT IS ALL. I LOVE YOU GUYS. ENJOY READING.

** CHAPTER SIX: "...In Order to Open Others". **

 

"-ai? Kai Chen?" I hear Bang PD ask me and I quickly look at him, eyes wide.

 

_How long was I zoning out for?_

 

Band PD just stares at me, concerned. He tilts his head and asks, "You okay there? You seemed out of it."

 

"I just... remembered something. About what happened," I reply.

 

Bang PD looks confused for a second and then he remembers the question he had just asked me earlier and he simply replies coolly, "And?"

 

I pause for a moment and my muscles are tense. I stare at him, my eyes wide and my heart pounding. I open my mouth to speak and then pause. I look down.

 

_What do I tell him? I haven't thought about any of this... in years. I had repressed it all- the emotions, the thoughts- and now I can feel it bubbling to the surface._

 

"Kai," Bang PD says shortly.

 

I look up again, nervous still. Yet, I can feel a desperate look in my eyes. I can still feel my heart pounding fast with hope. It is enough to overpower the nervousness.

 

_I want to tell him something. I want to take this chance. I want to be selfish. Just this once._

 

Bang PD knows exactly what I want. He helps me and demands, "Say something."

 

I feel the words rush out of me.

 

"I let go of my dream too easily. I was scared... of facing my father. I played it off like I was following my mother's dream- and her love of music. But, the truth is that I like music too! Hell, I love music. I've regretted quitting Fantaigo since the day I stepped out of those doors. Those glass doors...," I tell him quickly, and then trail off as I envision those doors- closing behind me with a final click- then I continue, "I remember my father telling me that I would never be an idol. That I would never make it- and I believed him. Also, he needed another breadwinner. He got fired so often, he couldn't provide properly for my sister. These..."

 

I fall silent, staring at him. I feel flustered. He raises an eyebrow at me, silently willing me to finish.

 

"These..." I try again, and then my eyes turn serious as I finish, "are all excuses, however. I was just afraid. I was afraid."

 

I blink, hardly comprehending what I had just said. Still, for some reason my shoulders feel a lot lighter. Bang PD, if he is feeling any empathy at the moment, does not show it. He just nods and stares at me, eyes serious and calculating. It feels like he is reading who I am- my soul- and it causes me to squirm a bit in my seat.

 

"And what are you now, Kai?" he asks me, and he holds out his hand.

 

I stare at his hand- a lifeline. An opportunity.

 

_Never again will I let something like this go. I'll go to hell before I do._

 

I quickly grab onto his hand and shake it, staring into his eyes and I clench my jaw, determined.

 

"I'm ready, sir. I'm ready to do whatever I have to do."

 

He shakes my hand back and he grins, exclaiming, "Now, that's what I want to hear!"

 

He lets go of my hand and leans back into his seat, pouring himself another glass of alcohol.

 

"Now that it's settled that you'll be apart of Big Hit," he tells me, holding his glass, "Let me explain how we are going to do this."

 

...

...

...

 

It had been settled.

 

Bang PD explained to me that I would fly back to Korea with him tomorrow. Last minute- I know. However, he had been keeping an extra ticket to hand out at the end of the auditions- which he had never held, thanks to me, and he wanted to finalize everything as soon as possible. I had asked how, exactly, he planned to get me on the plane with him without it being considered kidnapping. He told me he knew exactly how to win my father over, but he hasn't told me yet. I had also asked about my sister, and he also said he had a plan for that too. I decided to trust him.

 

_Is it a good idea to trust him?_

_...Well, it's too late now, anyways._

 

The limo was driving back towards my house and Bang PD seemed to be preparing a handwritten contract. I look out the window, continuing to think about the rest of the plan.

 

When I do finally get to South Korea, Bang PD tells me he will hold a regulatory "mini-audition", just to be sure of my skills. Bang PD is confident that I will succeed and he keeps telling me that this audition is just a formality- so the other members will not feel cheated out of their own hard work and that there would be no scandal. However, he did tell me just in case it not work out with BTS, he promises to keep me as a trainee and on a payroll. No matter what happens, at the very least I will be set with a paycheck and a place to stay.

 

Of course, that will not happen. I will become a member of BTS- even if it kills me. I want to chase this dream.

 

I look over at him, smiling, and the car continues to speed down the road while the sunlight flickers across our faces. I pull out my phone and check the time:

 

1:00 pm.

 

I take a breath, staring at the numbers on the bright screen. I start to get sentimental, as anyone would in my position- I'm sure.

 

_Right now, this very second, I am so close to grabbing my dream. Holy shit. I have to thank Jae later- and one "thank you" will not be even close to enough. Not even one million "thank you"'s. If it wasn't for her unhealthy obsession with BTS, I wouldn't have gotten that teaser of that song stuck in my head. Then, Bang PD would have walked right past me and I wouldn't have even known..._

 

_Wait, what is Jae going to think about this?! Me, joining her favorite band?_

 

_Is she going to be happy or pissed off?_

 

_Or both?  
_

 

Never mind. I have never really been good at being sentimental. 

 

I put my phone away and look up, just in time to see us pulling up into the alleyway of my neighborhood. The guy from earlier parks the car and leans back in his seat, sighing.

 

"We're here."

 

Bang PD nods, smiling and he grabs the papers he was just writing on and shoves them into his bag. The other guy gets out and opens the car door for us.

 

"Perfect timing," he states and he adjusts his collar as he looks at himself in the mirror. I realize suddenly that he had been wearing a suit and a tie. I raise my eyebrows.

 

"Did you expect to have a meeting like this today, Bang?" I ask him, and then hastily add on, "Ah- Sir, I mean."

 

I find myself slipping in and out of honorifics. After speaking basically only English for two years, which is basically informal all the time, it is hard to switch back. He flashes me an understanding smile before stepping out of the limo, not answering my question. I quickly follow after him and I hear the guy shut the limo door behind us. Bang PD walks confidently up to the front door and he knocks. I shift, eyes nervous and Bang PD glances at me, noticing it. He shakes his head, as if to tell me- "it's okay, you're fine."

 

_But am I fine? If my father wants... he could permanently end my dream right here. I'm still a minor- he has power over me._

 

The door opens. I take a deep breath and I hear the deep voice of my father.

 

"Hm? What is this? Kai- did you get in trouble with the police?" he asks me, voice having only a hint of anger in it- but his eyes shine with fury.

 

I start to open my mouth, but Bang PD laughs before I can start to try- and probably fail- at explaining myself.

 

Bang PD respectfully replies, "No, Sir. I assure you that your son here is not in trouble. Actually, I wanted to introduce myself. I don't know if you've ever heard of me, but my name is Bang Si-Hyuk, and I'm the CEO of Big Hit Entertainment."

 

He holds out his hand and my father stares at it, looking bug eyed. He slowly grabs his hand and shakes it.

 

My father recovers and tries to act more prideful.

 

"I think I have heard of that company, yes," he states and lets go of Bang PD's hand.

 

"Well, I want Kai to become an idol under Big Hit, and be apart of a boy group we have called BTS- Bangtan Sonyeondan."

 

I stay silent and watch, eyes serious. My father looks at me and my expression does not change.

 

"Him? Why him of all people? Plus- I will not let my son go just anywhere. He has school and a job- he provides for this family."

 

By "this family", he means his late nights with his American wife- my "mother".

 

Speaking of the devil- my mother walks into the room.

 

She smiles a big smile and hugs my father's arm, batting her eyelashes.

 

"Honey," she says in English, "What is going on?"

 

My father nods towards me, signaling me to explain it to her. He was never very good with English- and he never really wanted to do much talking with my mother anyways.

 

"The man here is the CEO from Big Hit Entertainment, which is the company that owns the popular K-Pop band BTS- the one that Jae loves so much. I have been offered a spot in the group. Father is denying it because I need to make money for us and I have school," I explain to her in English and I cringe slightly at the greedy smile that appears on her face.

 

Bang PD watches me with an impressed gaze, interested in me speaking English.

 

My mother turns to my father, hugging his arm tighter. 

 

"Honey, don't you get it? If he debuts- he will get a lot of money!"

 

My father's eyes narrow- and Bang PD recognizes the word "money" and my mother's excitement and quickly adds on, "Yes, he will make a lot of money. He will debut within the next three months- and I will make sure that for the next year you will get 75% of his earnings."

 

My father is now smiling too, eyes shining with greed. I look up quickly at Bang PD. While money was not the priority, I was shocked at him making this decision for me. He ignores my gaze and continues, "I also have reserved two spots in a prestigious private school in Seoul where both Kai and Jae have spots. Jae will be set up with an apartment and Kai will live in the BTS dorms."

 

Father glances at me again and I can tell the gears are turning in his mind. His eyes shine with desire. My mother shakes his arm gently and kisses his cheek.

 

"Come on, honey!" she exclaims.

 

My father sighs gruffly and mutters, "What do I need to sign, huh?"

 

Bang PD grins and quickly pulls out the papers that he has and my dad quickly signs it.

 

"The money- I want it now as a down payment. How much?" he questions, practically drooling.

 

_And I thought I was simpleminded. Is he really okay with letting us be on another Continent after a mere bribe? What am I thinking- of course he is._

 

Bang PD sighs, thinking, before slowly answering, "I can pay you 500,000 dollars right now."

 

My jaw drops open. My father coughs a couple times, but he manages to keep it together.

 

"Done. When do they leave?" he asks, grinning.

 

Bang PD glances and me and smiles, whispering, "What did I tell you, huh?"

 

I blink, a little shocked, and shrug lamely. I stare at my father and my mother and their wolfish smiles.

 

_That... was much easier than expected. Am I mad? Upset? Hm..._

 

_No. Their betrayal was expected. What was unexpected was how much money Bang PD was willing to spend on me. The lengths Bang PD was willing to go for me- to help me chase my dream- it made me happy._

 

[I slowly offer Bang PD a small smile.](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/5f/3b/d5/5f3bd512cb41bd60ac0d9e566ab2f5ae.jpg)

 

BTS- here I come.

 

\---


	7. I Happen to Like Shirts With Words on Them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We pull up to the airport and the driver parks next to the curb right in front of the entrance. Bang PD and the guy seem to look around carefully and the guy frowns and sighs.
> 
> "You were right, some reporters are here," the guy tells Bang PD, who sighs and shrugs.
> 
> "What can you do? I am famous. It's hard to hide the news that I am in the country," he says cockily, grinning and the guy just rolls his eyes. 
> 
> Jae smiles brightly- fangirling almost.
> 
> Is him being cocky a usual thing for him?

** CHAPTER SEVEN:  I Happen to Like Shirts With Words on Them:**

 

 ****Twenty four hours later and I am in the limo again with Bang PD.

 

As soon as Bang PD left, my dad make us pack quickly. His eyes shined brightly the whole time- I haven't seen him look this excited in a while. As I packed, I could hear my mother downstairs asking him questions in English:

 

"Honey, is this K-POP band really famous? Will we become famous too?"

 

"Honey, is he going to make a lot of money? You'll keep it- for us, won't you?"

 

"Honey, when do you think we're getting the money?"

 

When Jae found out the news, she obviously wasn't sad at all. I'm pretty sure she had a heart attack and died from how happy and shocked she was. Then she resurrected purely because she was going to see and probably be friends with BTS. When girls say those boys are lifesavers- they really aren't kidding.

 

She packed at a lightning speed and then started helping me shove things into my bag to make the process go faster. All I packed were clothes and my phone- I could never really afford anything sentimental or important. All of the money went to my father who spent most of it with his girlfriend and gave the rest to Jae. Because I'm one of the "men" of the house, my father says that I need to help the women first. However, I was perfectly fine with it. I want Jae to live a life where she can afford luxuries and not have to worry about money. It is the one wish that kept me motivated during my job every day.

 

Now, I will hopefully earn enough to give her anything she wants. I don't want to see the hidden disappointment in her face when she cannot get a new uniform or a CD or extra meat because we simply cannot afford it. I don't want her to have to miss outings with her friends because she cannot pay for her own tickets and food. I want to give her everything. 

 

 _I can now, can't I?_   _It's the least I could do as her older brother..._

 

I focus back on what is going on inside of the car. Jae is talking excitedly to Bang PD, who is smiling politely and nodding.

 

"So, you're saying I NEED U is going to start a storyline?" she asks him, eyes wide and [she seems shocked and amazed at the same time](http://data1.ibtimes.co.in/en/full/657735/school-2017.jpg).

 

He smiles proudly at her reaction and nods. He explains, "Yes. Each member is going to have their own separate stories that intertwine. We hope to continue it in our concepts, albums, and other music videos. It is an idea we're testing out."

 

He pauses, seeming to remember that my sister is a fan. "If you have a blog or friends who like BTS, please do not say anything no matter what. It is important that this remains secret."

 

"Of course, sir!" She promises, smiling and she mimics zipping her lips. 

 

"A storyline?" I speak up finally, which causes Bang PD and Jae to both look over at me.

 

"Yes- and we've already had a storyline written for an 8th member, too. It.. is actually surprisingly fitting for you." Bang PD comments, tilting his head.

 

I look confused and Bang PD just smiles, telling me, "You'll see."

 

_I hope I can still act well... Or did I ever act well? According to Jae, the answer to this question is "No"._

 

We pull up to the airport and the driver parks next to the curb right in front of the entrance. Bang PD and the guy seem to look around carefully and the guy frowns and sighs.

 

"You were right, some reporters are here," the guy tells Bang PD, who sighs and shrugs.

 

"What can you do? I am famous. It's hard to hide the news that I am in the country," he says cockily, grinning and the guy just rolls his eyes. 

 

Jae smiles brightly- fangirling almost.

 

 _Is him being cocky a usual thing for him? Because he does it a lot. Then again, if I was him I would be cocky too._..

 

"There's only about five reporters here- but that's enough to get some photos taken and some rumors going around. We will have to start getting the ARMYs shaken up earlier than we thought," Bang PD says, but he smiles and continues, "Either way, it is going to gain BTS a lot of publicity and attention- so who cares?"

 

Bang PD gives me a hoodie and a mask. **(A/N: THIS IS UNINTENTIONAL BUT OMG THIS REMINDS ME OF THE NEWEST FAKE LOVE MUSIC VID. OKAY. PROCEED.)** Iraise my eyebrows.

 

"We do not want people seeing you with me already. They will already try to make prejudgments on you- they'll rip you apart before you even get started. Joining BTS is very risky- and a big deal. I would rather get you supporters first. It's better if they just are confused about who exactly is walking with me and why I am even in the U.S.. Have you ever seen them on social media? It's hilarious- they all freak out and make a bunch of theories."

 

He laughs and Jae stares at him, blinking and mumbles, "I knew BigHit was playing with us."

 

I sigh and put on the mask and the hoodie.[ I look down at my outfit](https://pm1.narvii.com/6276/3487150cc97c4bcef71ceefe9db48c9470c51990_hq.jpg)\- Bang PD had made me change from the one I had earlier. He apparently thought it was out of style and that I needed to make a good "fashion first impression".

 

_Was my outfit really that bad? Really? I don't think so. I think I looked fine. Even better than fine-[what's wrong with having a shirt with funny words on it? ](https://ae01.alicdn.com/kf/HTB16LH4RpXXXXXvaFXXq6xXFXXXv/JUST-DO-IT-LATER-2017-Funny-t-shirts-women-punk-rock-fashion-graphic-tee-shirt-letter.jpg)_

 

I cross my arms, grumbling as I continue to think about his words on my fashion- but I feel good in the outfit he approved for me. I feel more... like an idol, I guess? 

 

Bang PD hands Jae a hoodie and a mask too and she looks confused.

 

"Me too?"

 

"If they figure out somehow who you are, it isn't that hard to guess that the mystery person is probably your brother," he explains and [my sister shrugs and complies, putting on the getup.](http://d263ao8qih4miy.cloudfront.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/school1314-00151a.jpg)

 

The guy parks the car and gets out, walking to the side door and opening it.

 

"Okay," Bang PD states, "Let's go."

 

He gets out and I walk behind him, holding my sister's arm to make sure she does not get lost. I glance back at the limo, frowning.

 

"My driver will handle the bags, do not worry," Bang PD quietly mumbles to me and I nod.

 

I hear a quiet snap occasionally of a lens- two or three times. It makes me falter and glance to the side, but Bang PD keeps moving without looking at all. I follow behind him as he guides us to the right terminal. He hands me and my sister our tickets. I glance around- getting a giddy feeling from having my face hidden and being able to watch everyone else.

 

_I feel like... a spy._

 

My mind starts to wander and I slowly grin to myself.

 

_I'm on a mission. A mission to gather intel. I-_

 

"Hey, Kai- move it," my sister whispers, voice annoyed and I realize that Bang PD has already gotten his ticket scanned and has started walking onto the plane.

 

My eyes go wide and I catch up, quickly having the lady scan our tickets and get on the plane.

 

I glance around for a second and see Bang PD sitting in one of the aisle seats near the front of the plane. I walk towards hi-

 

_Wait. The front of the plane? Does this mean..._

 

_First class?!_

 

My sister seems to share my excitement as she quickly looks up at me to see my reaction, eyes wide.

 

I walk over to Bang PD and he nods to the two empty seats next to him.

 

"Window seat!" my sister nearly yells and she sprints into it.

 

_Shit. That motherf- not the middle seat. Are you kidding me?_

 

Even first class, the middle seat is something that was invented by the devil. I sigh, shrugging and sit down. The driver gets on a few moments later and nods to Bang PD before sitting behind us.

 

I look over at Jae who is looking out of the window and smiling, eyes bright. I cannot help but smile a little myself.

 

_The middle seat is fine, I guess._

...

...

...

 

**SEVENTEEN HOURS LATER:**

 

Since we had a flight with no stops or connections, we stayed on the plane the whole time. Everyone was a little stir crazy and cramped- and our hair and clothes were kinda messy at this point.

 

I am woken up by someone- _oh, Bang PD_ \- shaking me and I groan as I sit up, my neck stiff from lying in such an awkward position for so long.

 

Bang PD is silently grinning at me after waking me and I just blink-confused and too tired to say something witty.

 

"Do you know what I already have?" he asks and I just quietly grunt, asking him to continue.

 

He shoves his phone in my face and I have to squint to adjust to its sudden brightness.

 

And that's when I see [it](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/07/ea/60/07ea60ff107dbca2a2df1a6c36cb6023.jpg). The most haunting- embarrassing picture that has ever been taken of me.

 

I am asleep on Bang PD's shoulder, drooling a bit as he grins at the camera and gives it a thumbs up.

 

"I have blackmail," he informs me and I stare at the phone.

 

_Great. Just great._

 

Jae laughs and asks, "Can you send that to me?"

 

"Of course," Bang PD tells her and I sigh, throwing my head back against the headrest and close my eyes again.

 

"Hey- kid, don't go back to sleep yet. There is a reason that I woke you up- we're about to land right now."

 

I open my eyes quickly, getting a rush of energy. I look at the clock on the mini TV in front of me- which has adjusted to Korean Standard Time. One good thing has come out of sleeping so much during this flight- and it is that I may have just avoided getting jet lag.

 

"We'll probably head right to Big Hit- since it is so early. We'll hold your evaluation and audition and maybe get you started on your first workday today."

 

I nod, looking serious at him and I run my hand through my hair and try to fix my clothes so I look somewhat presentable.

 

My sister smiles and bounces slightly in her seat, exclaiming, "I get to meet BTS today?"

 

"Not so fast," the guy says behind us and my sister immediately looks over.

 

"What? Why?" she questions, sounding alarmed.

 

"We have to get you settled into your apartment first. Don't worry, I'm sure you'll get many more opportunities to meet them."

 

My sister clutches her heart and leans over in her seat like she's been shot and I just smile and sigh quietly, rolling my eyes.

 

"Hey, you're sitting next to a member of BTS right here," I mumble quietly to her and she grumbles and gently shoves me.

 

"Yeah, but you're my brother and they are angels. And look like angels. There's a big difference."

 

_I mean... she's not wrong._

 

I think back to the photos she showed me of them while we were doing research.

 

_They are certainly attractive guys. Not in a weird way. Uhm-_

 

The plane jolts gently as the wheels first touch against the run way. There is a whirring sound as the plane slowly slows down and comes to a stop.

 

I adjust the hoodie and mask that I'm wearing and so does Jae.

 

"There will probably be a lot more press here than there were in the U.S.. Especially since the pictures taken before at the last airport have had time to spread. There might even be some fans. Stay close. My driver is also a bodyguard- so he will prevent anything from happening," Bang PD explains to me and I turn a little protective as I think about people shoving Jae and I nod seriously.

 

I get the bags so the guy can focus on doing whatever a bodyguard does.

 

We walk down the aisle and stop in the hallway that connects the plane to the terminal.

 

Bang PD turns around and looks at us.

 

"We ready? Come on."

 

He turns around and leads us as we walk out.

 

[ _Holy shit._ ](https://venuemagz.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/venuemagz-2016110895200.jpg)

 

\---


	8. Kai the Spy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "There will probably be a lot more press here than there were in the U.S.. Especially since the pictures taken before at the last airport have had time to spread. There might even be some fans. Stay close. My driver is also a bodyguard- so he will prevent anything from happening," Bang PD explains to me and I turn a little protective as I think about people shoving Jae and I nod seriously.
> 
> I get the bags so the guy can focus on doing whatever a bodyguard does.
> 
> We walk down the aisle and stop in the hallway that connects the plane to the terminal.
> 
> Bang PD turns around and looks at us.
> 
> "We ready? Come on."
> 
> He turns around and leads us as we walk out.
> 
> ...Holy shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! A lot of the plot of this story is still in development (obviously)- so if there is anything any of you would like to see in the story, anything you guys like, don't like, anything you want more of, less of, different, etc. let me know! I will definitely take it into consideration and try to write with your comments in mind. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy.
> 
>  
> 
> -Amanda

**CHAPTER EIGHT: Kai the Spy:**

 

_[Holy shit.](https://venuemagz.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/venuemagz-2016110895200.jpg) _

 

I cannot help but freeze in front of the terminal as I see the large amount of people that have gathered in front of it.

 

_Exactly how many people had showed up just because of those pictures taken in the States? Those photos were taken less than twenty-four hours ago! There has to be more than one hundred people here- at least. Is now a bad time to say I like having personal space? Or that I am bad at talking to people?_

 

The crowd suddenly picks up in energy and volume as everyone realizes we are here and they quickly swarm around us.

 

"Which member of BTS are you?" one reporter asks me, shoving a microphone near my face and I try to pull my hoodie more over my eyes since the mask I am wearing is only covering my nose and my mouth. Bang PD had mentioned on the plane not to say a word to anyone who asked me questions.

 

"Nonsense!" another reporter chimes in and holds another microphone up to me, "This isn't a member of BTS- they're someone else. Why are you with Mr. Bang?"

 

"No- which member of BTS are you?" more reporters chime in- and they start bickering amongst each other. I gulp quietly and glance back at where the guy and Jae are standing.

 

Bang PD- my hero- puts a hand on my shoulder and smiles kindly, telling them, "He is not available for questions."

 

Him dodging the question for me causes all of the reporters near us to get more excited. All of their voices overlap each other as they speak with frantic excitement. With a nod of Bang PD's head, the guy steps in and pulls me over, making me face towards him so I do not get tempted to react at all to the crowd and so that the crowd does not try to identify who I am. [Bang PD puts on sunglasses as the bright lights of the cameras focus on him](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/AsWGAdsCQAEopJ1.jpg). By him having me not take any questions from the reporters, it basically confirmed that there is something else going on.

 

_Where are my sunglasses?  It would block my eyes from being blinded and hide my identity. Plus, it looks cool!_

 

_...Okay, I really just want them for that last reason. I could look like a spy!  I really do mention being a spy a lot- those cheesy American movies about badass super spies are rubbing off on me. It's a problem. But, imagine:_

 

_"Your mission, if you choose to accept it-"_

 

_"You don't even have to ask," I'll say in a deep voice, "I am spy Kai Chen- reporting for duty. I can do any mission."_

 

_The person giving me the mission would be impressed and just silently hand me the assignment- I would put on sunglasses and walk away._

 

_Cue the explosions behind me._

 

_How amazing would that be, seriously?_

 

_If only I had sunglasses..._

 

"Mr. Bang, why did you go to the United States?" I hear one of the reporters ask behind me, which pulls me out of my beautiful, beautiful, dream, "Which member of BTS is with you and where are the other members?"

 

"We went to the United States in order to expand BTS' publicity outside of Korea. We wanted to meet with a few popular local businesses and see where BTS could be involved." Bang PD answers calmly, smiling. He again avoids answering the second question, but the reporters refuse to let him get away with it that easily.

 

"But who is with you, Mr. Bang?" a different reporter asks him again and Bang PD just laughs.

 

"They are my assistants who helped translate for me and make deals while I met with companies in the United States. Nothing newsworthy." he lies easily.

 

The reporters falter for a moment, mumbling amongst themselves. 

 

Bang PD, taking advantage of the reporters' doubt, has already started pushing himself through the crowds. He smiles and waves occasionally, but stays silent despite the bombardment of questions he is being asked. The guy then grabs Jae's arm and starts moving forward after Bang PD and I quickly look at him, now holding her other arm and I give him a death glare.

 

The guy stares at me and grumbles, "Start moving."

 

_What the hell does he think he's doing?_

 

"Hands off, pal," I whisper quietly, eyes narrowed. I am the extremely protective over my sister- she's really the only one I am close to in this world. The amount of heart attacks I have gotten from seeing all of her guy friends try to flirt with her- well, the number is too high to count! It is like she is some main lead in a drama where all of the boys are in love with her and are trying to win her over. I have had to give a lot of threatening talks to younger boys these past years. I do not know why so many guys are into her, seriously. She says she has "killer looks" and I just do not see it.

 

My sister rolls her eyes at my overreaction, but doesn't say anything, looking at the guy. She seems a little annoyed about him grabbing her arm, too.

 

"I'll take her through the crowd," he tells me and I give him a look.

 

_I think the hell not. She's only sixteen! What is he- in his mid twenties?!_

 

He whispers quietly to us, "You want to start a dating scandal before you even debut? Or a scandal about one of the other members dating someone? Let go and keep moving."

 

I hesitate, weighing the facts.

 

_Maybe he has valid reasoning. And maybe I overreacted just a tad. But still-_

 

My sister quickly rips her arm away from me as she hears what the guy had whispered and starts walking fast with him through the crowd.

 

_Hey- what-_

 

I stare after them, blinking.

 

_She really will do anything for this band of good looking guys. Jesus. I have to have a talk with her. Before we meet those boys- we are having a talk about her self control._

 

I quickly follow after them- slowly shoving my way through the dense mass of people. Past the reporters, I[ catch glimpses of fans](http://cdn.newsapi.com.au/image/v1/e6de3b7588b4305c752eb3a67ac83d56?width=650). Many hold posters that cheer on BTS and are occasionally going on their tip-toes and craning their necks to try and see what all of the commotion is. I cannot help but stop and stare for a second as I smile a bit.

 

_Woah. To have come to this airport to support BTS and see what is going on just because of a couple photos and rumors?  Even though they do not know if BTS would show up or if they would even acknowledge them? How dedicated, nice, and cute they all are. Still, this is definitely something that Jae would do- so I stand by it also being a little crazy._

 

They seem to think I must be a member of BTS- because they become excited and jump up and down as I walk past them and exit the airport. I take a deep breath of fresh air as I suddenly feel a lot less crowded. I glance around a bit and catch a limo parked against the curb and see the guy standing in front of it. I quickly come over and the guy opens the passenger door for me as I get in. He closes it behind me and gets in the passenger seat- since there is already another driver in the car. 

 

Bang PD looks over at me as we start driving and he seems dead serious as he questions me, "Did you say anything to anyone?"

 

"No, Mr. Bang," I say formally- since I'm working for him now, I might as well.

 

He raises an eyebrow at my sudden care in using honorifics, but he seems to like it and he just smiles

 

"I just got a little stuck while pushing through the crowds," I explain vaguely- I did not want to get all mushy and explain that I had stopped to look at the fans.

 

He just replies, "Well, it's understandable. The large crowds are hard to get used to."

 

I look over at my sister, who is now on her phone- distracted. I then look up to the front seat again and glance at the new driver- a woman- who seems to be an employee also for Big Hit. I study her for a few moments and [then look out the window- finally being able to take in where I am.](http://goingawesomeplaces.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/2013-02-15-Seoul-001.jpg)

 

 _Back in Korea, after almost three years. It's crazy... how much I had missed this. And I had not even realized how much until now._ _I feel much lighter for some strange reason- more comfortable. Don't get me wrong- the United States was fun and very cool at some points, but nothing beats being at home. Somewhere where I do not get bullied and-_

 

_Well, okay. I definitely was bullied in Korea too before I moved away. But that's besides the point! In the United States, I was bullied for being foreign. At least in Korea, I was bullied for my shitty attitude and dorky appearance. Which- I guess was at least fair._

 

"We should be there in a couple minutes now," Bang PD tells me and I stop looking out the window, feeling butterflies in my stomach and a weight on my chest.

 

_Great- now I'm getting nervous. When I'm nervous, I say and do stupid things._

 

_Now- I know what you are thinking:_

 

_Kai, how can you say or do anything more stupid more than what you've already said and done in these past eight chapters? **(A/N: the 4th wall has been broken, lolol)**_

 

_Well, just wait and see. I am really, really good at embarrassing myself._

 

I give him a thumbs up and awkwardly reply in English, "Awesome."

 

_I'm a fucking idiot._

 

He raises his eyebrows as we pull up to the Big Hit building. I can hear Jae quietly squealing behind me as she stares at it.

 

Bang PD looks at me and sighs, patting my shoulder as I continue to feel my stomach do flips, "Listen, kid, you just need to be yourself and dance and sing the best you can. Perform so well that you have no regrets about it afterwards- that is what I always tell the other boys."

 

I take a deep breath, eyes serious and I nod- determined. 

 

This is my dream. Bang PD has gotten me this far- now it is my turn to work hard and get the rest of the way there. I know this _._ Bang PD does too- the look in his eyes is telling me that I need to take this seriously- no fooling around. 

 

"Let's head in. We'll be going to a practice room- some representatives, managers, and trainers of the company will be in there waiting to see you perform. They will have the final say in what your position will be at this company," Bang PD explains.

 

I nod, getting out of the car. The guy rolls down the window.

 

"I'll be taking your things to the dorms will you will be staying and I will get your sister settled too," he tells me seriously.

 

Self control, Kai. Self control.

 

I smile and nod. Bang PD is already standing outside of the car.

 

"Come on, Kai. We don't have all day. People are waiting for you."

 

_Waiting for me. Jesus. No pressure._

 

I quickly turn to go, but my sister calls from the back, "Kai!"

 

I turn back around to and my sister smiles sweetly at me, "Since I cannot be there in person because I have to settle in- say hello to BTS for me! And tell them I will meet them soon!"

 

"Yeah, sure," I say quickly, in a rush and then quickly go over to Bang PD.

 

_Yeah- definitely won't be doing that._

 

[I walk into the building](https://naesushi.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/big-hit-building.jpg), pushing open the big glass doors. I look around the big bright building- eyes wide. **(A/N: the image is the actual Big Hit building- as I said before I will be changing around things. It looks generally like that in the story- but bigger and a little more polished.)**

 

A short young woman with a bright smile and her hair in a high ponytail comes up to me and grabs my shoulders- pulling me down so our faces are on the same level and she stares at me.

 

"Is this him, Mr. Bang?" she asks Bang PD and I just look at her- my face red and my eyes wide.

 

_W- what is she doing?_

 

"Yep," Bang PD says and her eyes narrow as she seems to almost start analyzing my features. She lets go of me and I awkwardly stand back up straight. She then looks at my clothes and tilts her head.

 

"His visuals are good- he has a well proportioned face and a good look. I can definitely work with that. I will need to work on his hair a bit- and his fashion needs a lot of work," she tells Bang PD and I blink.

 

_Is she talking about me?_

 

"I know- I tried to put together the best combination of what he had in his wardrobe," Bang PD says in an exasperated tone and I find myself squinting at them.

 

_That is the second time this week! My fashion is not that bad!_

 

"Anyways, you'll be able to give him a quick idol makeover, right?" Bang PD asks and the girl gives him a look.

 

"Wait," I ask in an alarmed tone- this is my first time hearing about this- "Aren't there people waiting for me?"

 

"I lied to make you hurry up. They are supposed to meet in there in an hour," Bang PD tells me and keeps looking at the young girl for an answer.

 

_I won't be able to pull off a makeover like this! I'll feel so uncomfortable- I won't be able to do well!_

 

"Of course I can, sir. Leave him to me," she says and grabs my arm. I quickly look at him.

 

_Help. Helphelphelp. S.O.S. Siren noises. Flashing lights. WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO._

 

Bang PD ignores my anxious gaze and nods. The young makeup and fashion artist smiles and does a small bow before quickly dragging me away.

 

The woman quickly leads me down a hallway and pulls me into a dressing room. I glance around- seeing the room filled with clothing racks and shelves of beauty supplies and accessories. She sits me down at a chair near one of the makeup tables.

 

She pulls out a big black bag of makeup and a bottle of hairspray. She claps her hands together- eyes bright with excitement.

 

"Okay. So here's how this is going to work-"

 

...

...

...

 

[I stare at myself in the mirror as the girl stands behind me and looks over my shoulder at my reflection, grinning.](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/644525952593104896/H0zVfhRb.jpg)

 

I blink. She smiles brighter and hits my arm.

 

"You aren't saying anything! That means you like it!" she exclaims and puts her hands on her hips, proud of herself.

 

I blink again- stunned. I definitely do... look different. Can I dare to say it looks good? My hair- for the first time in my life- is done up and off of my face and she put very light makeup on me to emphasize some parts of my face. My clothes are all black and flowy- yet stylish.

 

"It- it is good," I manage to tell her through my shock and she smiles brighter.

 

"See, I told you that you have good visuals, Kai."

 

I smile a bit. She grins happily at finally seeing me crack a smile.

 

Over the last hour- she and I had become friends. She saw that I was stressed and to distract me explained everything that she was doing during my makeover and why. She wished me good luck- and she told me that while she had not seen me sing or dance yet, she knows that I am definitely kind enough and hot enough to be apart of BTS.

 

_Kind and hot... are two words that have never been used to describe me before._

 

I continue to stare at myself in the mirror. I know that I do not look absolutely perfect- but the version of me that I am staring at right now is a major confidence booster. I am beginning to feel like I am more capable of becoming apart of BTS- like they are less out of my reach. This whole experience is starting to feel a whole lot more real to me.

 

I am starting to definitely look like an idol- now, I just need to prove that I can actually be one. 

 

The woman looks up at me. "Ready to go?" she asks.

 

I look away from my reflection and nod. While I still feel the butterflies in my stomach, my determination overpowers it and makes me feel more excited that anything.

 

"Yes. Definitely."

 

She smiles and pats me on the back, exclaiming, "Yes! That's what I want to hear! Now let me get you to the practice room. Let's go."

 

She pulls me along again and pushes open the door as we walk out into the hallway. She quickly guides me down it.

 

_Here we go. This is it._

 

_I only get one opportunity. One chance- to seize my dream and make it a reality._

 

_My entire future will be decided in these next few moments- on how I perform._

 

 _Will I be able to do this?_  

 

_Will I be able to become the eighth member of BTS?_

 

\---


	9. Use The Force, Kim Taehyung

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She pulls me along again and pushes open the door as we walk out into the hallway. She quickly guides me down it.
> 
> Here we go. This is it. 
> 
> I only get one opportunity. One chance- to seize my dream and make it a reality. 
> 
> My entire future will be decided in these next few moments- on how I perform. 
> 
> Will I be able to do this? 
> 
> Will I be able to become the eighth member of BTS?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!!
> 
> If you aren't already- this is a reminder to click on the text that is underlined to see pictures that will better help you visualize the story!! Okay! Have fun reading!
> 
> -Amanda

**CHAPTER NINE: Use The Force, Kim Taehyung:**

 

**THIRD PERSON'S POV:**

 

The [boys of Bangtan](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B11cMXgCAAANB95.jpg:large) are all stuffed into a somewhat small storage closet located in a hallway of the Big Hit building. Most of them are anxiously waiting to secretly sneak a peak at the young boy who most likely will be the new member of Bangtan, except for Yoongi. He leans back in a swivel chair that is near the back of the closet.

 

They all are a little stunned at the moment. The first time that they had heard that an eighth member would be added to BTS [was only a couple weeks ago in a meeting](https://www.cutepuppiesvideos.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/1497528505_maxresdefault.jpg)\- and at the time they had been shocked and a little agitated. All seven of the members were quick to express some form of protest.  While they understood that they needed to become more internationally friendly since they had become more popular, they certainly thought that a new member was not the way to do it. BTS has always been the seven of them- they didn't want to add a member that had not had to go through the hard work they did to become successful. The meeting ended in Mr. Bang silencing their arguments with a loud hit of his desk and short speech.

 

_"There are other people who work just as hard- if not harder than you- and they will never get to debut or get recognition. The person who becomes the eighth member of BTS won't just get a free ride- I assure you he will have to work, too. And maybe- whoever becomes the eighth member already has worked harder than you. Maybe they just have not gotten a chance yet. Boys, if I have never taught you anything- let me teach you this. Who are you to deny someone else's dream just because you want to remain "comfortable" with where you are? Who are you to deny someone to debut, when you all six years ago were standing where they are now? Huh?"_

 

No one could find any response to what he had said. Most of the boys were looking down in shame by the end of Mr. Bang's lecture. They all apologized quickly and never dared to object against it again- and so it was settled: BTS would be getting an eighth member.

 

Even so, most of them thought that getting an eighth member was just another fleeting idea of Mr. Bang's- so they did not take it very seriously. They thought that in a few months, an eighth member would be out of the picture. Plus, they reasoned, even if they did get a new member, it would take Mr. Bang at least six months to find a candidate good enough. 

 

Well, here they were- not six months later, but three weeks later. 

 

While Mr. Bang had assured them that today is just an audition, based on the excited and impassioned way Mr. Bang had described the young prospect, it seemed that this audition was more just to win them all over onto the side of this new member.

 

They all press against each other, trying to get the best view through the tiny window on the door. Jungkook stands in the front and his head covers most of everyone else's view.

 

"Hey! Jungkook! I'm your hyung. Move out of the way so I can see," Jimin complains and lightly hits his arm.

 

Jungkook is nervous. When he first joined BTS, he was only thirteen. He was very shy at first- in front of the other six boys and in front of the camera. However, since they had to spend so much time together in preparing their music and shows, they all quickly became like his older brothers and helped raise him to be more outgoing and confident. Still, he was nervous about this newcomer suddenly joining his... family. He was shy around strangers- that weren't army, of course- and it was not any different for this new member. Also, they had heard that he was a young boy- younger than Jungkook. Some of the other members had become excited about that- which made Jungkook feel even worse. He has always been the youngest of the group. The golden maknae. He wasn't quite ready to give up being the youngest. 

 

"Jimin, I am hardly blocking the window. You cannot see because you are short," Jungkook says with a cheeky smile and Hoseok and Jin start laughing as Jimin gives Jungkook a death glare.

 

Taehyung smiles brightly in amusement, but rests a hand on Jimin's shoulder and tells him, "Jimin, have mercy on Jungkook. He is just nervous about the new member."

 

Jimin grumbles, eyes fuming but he lets it go once he looks back at Jungkook, who is again staring out of the window, eyes uneasy.

 

Taehyung laughs at Jimin's grumpy face and pinches his cheek, "Awhhh, how cute!"

 

Namjoon sighs at their antics and continues to stare out the window, serious. He is nervous, too. Namjoon had been the leader of this team for six years now- and had managed to keep them together and strong, even with the many obstacles they had gotten thrown at them. He's worried the impact that the new member would have. Will the new member be mean? Will they not like the new member? How will the fans react to him? He had so many questions- questions that he could only answer with time. Still, he did not want to discourage the other members from supporting the eighth member. He decided to remain neutral until he actually met the young boy. He liked the idea of using the new member to spread their platform across the word- and he loved the idea of having someone else that could help translate. He loved his bandmates, but they all were the worst at English. Plus, whenever Namjoon tried to get them to study in between their busy schedules, they would whine and "cute" their way out of it. Still, if Namjoon saw that he could tear the team apart, he would not hesitate to go to Mr. Bang and demand that he be removed from the team.

 

_Besides, he reminds himself, everything is reversible until he debuts. As long as the fans do not know about him, he could be let go from the company without any problems._

 

Jin screeches like a pterodactyl as Jimin shoves him a bit to get a better view and he starts waving his arms.

 

"How dare you hit me! I am the oldest here! I get the priority spot in front of the window!" he lectures him overdramatically, pointing at the window and soon Hoseok, Jimin, Tae, Jungkook, and Jin are all wrestling to get a better look out the window. Namjoon backs off, staring at them with an annoyed- yet amused look on his face.

 

Yoongi sounds annoyed as he sits up from his reclined position in the swivel chair. "Hey, why are you all so anxious to see him now?  We get to see him perform in like five minutes anyways for the auditions," he says loudly and the boys pause in their fighting.

 

Hoseok smiles brightly and skips over to Yoongi, leaning on the headrest of his chair, "Yoongi is right, guys."

 

"You don't need to tell them- I'm always right," Yoongi replies, making Hoseok smile brightly in amusement and snap his fingers.

 

"Wow! You're so cool, Yoongi," he teases him. 

 

While the other guys back away from the window after Yoongi's reminder, Jungkook stays there. Just then, Jungkook sees a blur of motion and he realizes it is the younger boy walking past him. He quickly moves his head forward a bit as he tries to see him better. He raises his eyebrows and stares at him as he walks past with the stylist- unaware of the members in the closet right next to him. He really was younger- a teenager like him. He... definitely looks the part. He looks young and good looking. Jungkook steps back from the window as he disappears and the other boys continue to chatter amongst themselves- oblivious. Jungkook bites his lip and looks down, feeling a pang of worry and jealousy.

 

_What if they like him more? What if I am not their younger brother that they take care of anymore? Jungkook asks himself- worried._

 

Namjoon, the responsible one as always, checks his phone and turns to all of them, saying, "Hey guys- there are two minutes left until the auditions. Let's go- I'm sure the boy is in there already, so there's no chance that he will see us coming to watch him."

 

Most of the boys excitedly crowd around the door. Yoongi looks unhappy that he has to move, but quickly complies as he stands up and they all walk out of the small closet. While they do, some of the nearby staff shoots them confused, yet unsurprised looks. 

 

They all stand there for a second, facing each other. Jin can sense everyone is nervous, so he tries to cheer them up and encourage them.

 

He smiles brightly and tells them, "Come on, guys! The last one there has to guy everyone dinner tonight."

 

[Everyone gasps and starts sprinting down the hallway](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/d1/05/75/d10575137d2ee08499a8f638d5f2fe3b--bts-lockscreen-bts-iphone-wallpaper.jpg), except for Namjoon and Jin. Namjoon smiles at Jin, gratefully, and nods. They then both then get a competitive glint in their eyes and start running after the rest of the boys. After all, they obviously weren't going to be the ones who were paying for dinner tonight.

 

As they all stand in front of the door to the recording booth, gasping for air- Jungkook whines as he breathes heavily.

 

"That isn't fair! Jin pushed me!"

 

"Who ever said that pushing is not allowed?" Jin questions, eyes wide and he pokes Jungkook's chest, "Stop complaining- there's no way you're getting out of paying for food tonight. It's the least you could do. I have practically raised you. I'm you're hyung. Respect me."

 

Jungkook pouts, giving him puppy eyes and Yoongi groans as the rest of them gasp quietly, totally won over.

 

"Ah!" Jin screams, angry, "Fine! Stop looking at me like that! I'll pay."

 

Everyone cheers, thanking him.

 

"Thanks, hyung," Jungkook says, smiling brightly.

 

"Whatever," Jin says, pretending to be annoyed- even though he's smiling.

 

"Come on guys, let's go," Namjoon says as he pulls open the door to the recording booth. They all step in and close the door behind them. [They sit in seats in front of the panel of controls and watch the commotion going on through the giant glass box.](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CD_WIR-UEAEItnQ.jpg:orig) It's one way mirror- so while Bangtan can watch everything going on in the practice room, to everyone on the inside it looks like a mirror. 

 

Bang PD wanted it this way. He told the boys that he wanted BTS to see the type of person the young boy was when he was himself- not stressed out and influenced by his possible bandmates being there. They had all agreed it was a good idea. After all, they wanted to see the real guy this new member was- not the fake version of him meant to impress them.

 

All of the boys look around the room for a moment. The practice room is busy with employees and executives taking their seats on the edge of the practice room and conversing amongst themselves. Bang PD stands in the middle of the practice room with the head voice coach and the head dance coach. They were going to be leading the new member's audition.  Next to Bang PD, shaking the coaches' hands was a young tall boy with dark hair.

 

"That's him," Jungkook says quickly and points to him through the glass.

 

"Where?" Taehyung quickly asks and all of the members quickly look over to the new probably soon to be member, staring and they study him.

 

"He looks nice!" Hoseok comments, optimistic.

 

"Our sunshine- very positive and kind as usual," Jin compliments as Hoseok smiles brightly and hits his shoulder.

 

"He... has swag," Yoongi admits, studying him closely.

 

To Yoongi... there was something about that young boy that gave him a sense of matureness and sadness. The boy seemed to act older despite his face looking so young. Yoongi could possibly respect someone like that. To him, everyone in Bangtan at the end of the day had an "old soul". Despite their jokes- their cockiness- their fame- they all were compassionate and serious when it mattered. They were sad about the problems their fans and other people had that they couldn't fix. They fixed it the best way they could: by spreading happiness through their music. To him, this new boy seemed to be someone who also would like to do that. Yoongi was usually good at judging people.

 

Yet, then again- he could be wrong.

 

Jimin and Taehyung excitedly chatter about the young kid- seeming to like him.

 

"We haven't seen him perform yet," Namjoon reminds everyone, wanting them to be cautious in this decision. Yes- decision.

 

Bang PD told them that they would have the final say in whether this new boy would become a member of BTS or if he would be turned away. They were all surprised by Bang PD's decision- since they all had been so opposed to getting an eighth member in the first place. Yet, after the talk Bang PD had given them- they had all resolved to try and be as unbiased as possible. Bang PD seemed to have faith in them that they would make the right decision- whatever it is- and they would not let him down.

 

Jungkook is looking down, upset. He can see all of the attention of the older Bangtan boys is already going to the new member. He knows that right now they are just excited- which is understandable- but the insecure part of himself is making him feel jealousy.

 

Jin's mother sense tingle as he looks at Jungkook. He automatically notices something is up and quietly asks him, worried, "Jungkook, is everything okay? You're not still upset about me pushing you down in the hallway earlier, are you? I said I would pay for the food, you know?"

 

Jungkook automatically looks up and puts on the brightest smile he can as he replies cheerfully, "No. That's not it at all, Jin. Don't worry. I'm just tired from practice earlier."

 

Jin nods, unsatisfied with his answer but he knows not to pry- Jungkook is a 19 year old boy after all, he needs privacy sometimes.

 

"When is he going to start performing?" Taehyung questions and sighs, getting bored. He goes right up to the glass, pressing his face against it. He frowns as he intensely stares through it.

 

"There are germs on there," Namjoon says and pulls him back. He then adds on, "Besides, they can't see you and your gaze isn't going to compel them to start earlier."

 

"I could use the..." Taehyung pauses for a long time, trying to remember that English word from that American space movie Namjoon made him watch.

 

"Force," J-Hope finishes for Tae with a bright smile- having also watched it with them. 

 

"I still cannot believe you guys watched that without me," Jin lectures, shaking his head.

 

"Would have you understood it, hyung?" Jungkook asks with a cocky smile and Jin pokes his shoulder, eyes wide.

 

"Hey! Like you actually understood it!" 

 

Yoongi smiles slightly at their playful bickering, but decides not to get involved. He continues to watch what is going on through the glass.

 

The new boy seems to take a deep breath as Bang PD walks off to sit with the other executives. The dance coach and the voice coach seem to talk to Kai, apparently laying out what he will have to do. The boy clenches his fists at his sides, nervous. Still, he never breaks eye contact with the coaches. He is determined and focused. The singing coach hand him a paper- presumably with the lyrics on them.

 

Over the stereo familiar music starts playing that causes all of the boys to quickly look towards the practice room. It was the instrumentals for I NEED U. They had not recorded the lyrics yet over it- except for the ten second teaser they had released a couple months ago. The music is played quietly enough for the boy's voice to be heard over. The singing coach stands in front of him- telling him when to sing. This song was perfect to test his singing skills in both English and Korean.

 

The voice teacher lifts their hand and [the boy looks down at the paper as he opens his mouth](http://pm1.narvii.com/5909/62e398fd203dcab1877ffb32dd70920b84bf6c9a_hq.jpg). He starts to sing- and his bright voice fills the room.

 

Jin and Taehyung's mouths drop open in surprise as Namjoon raises his eyebrows. Yoongi blinks, staring. Many of the executives look at each other, smiling slightly. Bang PD gives them all a look that screams- _I told you so_.

 

This kid... was good. Good was an understatement.

 

The boy continues to be focused on the paper. When he gets to the chorus, he sings it in a perfect English accent. All of the boys themselves had never sang the entire song through before- but they had definitely imagined it like this boy is singing it. He sings it with all of the emotion it is meant to have, even if he wasn't there when they were writing the song.  The boy finishes and continues to look down at the paper. All of the people around him politely applaud loudly and the boy looks up sheepishly with a shy smile, eyes surprised and happy. 

 

J-Hope smiles and just says, "Wow!"

 

"He doesn't seem used to applause," Jimin says, eyes interested.

 

"That's cause he isn't," Suga says and he seems confused, "If he didn't come from being a trainee or artist in America, then where did he come from?"

 

"There is a lot we do not know about him," Jungkook adds on, agreeing and he says, "Mr. Bang only told us about his personality and looks. We don't even know his name."

 

Taehyung tilts his head, seeming to consider that for the first time- but he replies, "We could get to know him more now, Kookie,"

 

"You're right, Jungkook- but Bang PD didn't tell us much about him because he didn't want the information getting released to the press. You know how bad we are at keeping secrets," Jin tells him.

 

"Right, didn't Tae barge into Namjoon's live the other day and thank him for helping him write a new song?" Jimin asks and Taehyung cringes, running a hand through his hair.

 

"I said I was sorry!" he whines.

 

Hobi laughs and continues, "You had a long talk on the phone with Mr. Bang after that one."

 

"I didn't know he was on vlive," Taehyung groans as the other boys laugh.

 

Namjoon quietly clears his throat so the other six boys look over at him.

 

"Don't get ahead of ourselves yet, guys. The audition isn't over yet," he politely reminds them and they all nod their heads.

 

The boy continues to sing a couple more songs- some of theirs, like Boys In Luv, Just One Day, and Danger- and some in English, like a popular one by Justin Bieber. They all knew the tune, but couldn't remember what it was called.

 

After everyone was sure that the young boy had clearly shown them his voice and his singing skills in both English and Korean, the dance instructor took control of the audition. The dance instructor would show him a couple moves and make him copy them. The boy seemed to copy them with little fault- easily picking up basic and more complicated dance moves.

 

"Nice," Hoseok compliments as the young boy successfully copies another move and he tells the other members, "He seems to be naturally graceful and coordinated. It'll help him pick up the moves I teach him easier."

 

"You'd love that, wouldn't you?" Jin jokes- he's usually the one who struggles picking up new moves the most. However- when he gets them, he does them perfectly.

 

Jimin smiles at Jin and pats his shoulder- calming him down.

 

"He looks like he learned how to dance at a company, though," Jungkook says- watching with curiosity. Even though Jungkook was uncertain about this new member- he was going to be fair with his vote. The boy was talented- he couldn't deny that.

 

It was true- the boy was very textbook in his approach to dancing. Not that it looked bad- not at all- it just looked more mechanical than emotional.

 

"I can fix that," Hoseok says with a smile.

 

They all give each other sympathetic looks. Hoseok runs their dance practices- and while he is encouraging and kind to them- he works them hard. Hobi will definitely whip this kid into shape really fast.

 

They all were curious where this boy came from.  He seemed talented- but they had never heard of him. He was born in Korea- but he had been living in America. Was he a trainee?  Was he not a trainee? Where did Bang PD find tis kid?

 

The music finally stopped and the boy stood in the middle of the room, breathing heavily. He looks over at Bang PD who smiles at him and he smiles automatically back, eyes bright. Mr. Bang comes up to the boy in the middle of the room as the executives start slowly filing out. [They seem to talk for a while and the boy occasionally wipes near his face](http://pm1.narvii.com/5959/4664854c586f6921ad42fef51f63498d202c6d91_hq.jpg).

 

"Is he crying?" Yoongi asks incredulously- he's one who gets very uncomfortable around emotions. Well, most of the time.

 

Taehyung smiles very slightly, staring at the emotional scene. Jimin does too. They both seemed moved. They both have always been a pair of softies.

 

"Well, weren't you emotional when you got the chance to debut?" Namjoon asks.

 

Yoongi doesn't reply- because he definitely was. They all were. They've all had their fair share of crying moments- and it was usually when they had gained success after ages and ages of hard work. This kid- was he crying after ages and ages of hard work, too?

 

"Okay, guys," Namjoon says to get everyone back on track again, "We need to decide. Is that boy in there going to be a member of BTS?"

 

They all look at each other, faces nervous. Namjoon raises his eyebrows, looking at them.

 

"Well?"

 

\---


	10. I am Bad at First Impressions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Is he crying?" Yoongi asks incredulously- he's one who gets very uncomfortable around emotions. Well, most of the time.
> 
> Taehyung smiles very slightly, staring at the emotional scene. Jimin does too. They both seemed moved. They both have always been a pair of softies.
> 
> "Well, weren't you emotional when you got the chance to debut?" Namjoon asks.
> 
> Yoongi doesn't reply- because he definitely was. They all were. They've all had their fair share of crying moments- and it was usually when they had gained success after ages and ages of hard work. This kid- was he crying after ages and ages of hard work, too?
> 
> "Okay, guys," Namjoon says to get everyone back on track again, "We need to decide. Is that boy in there going to be a member of BTS?"
> 
> They all look at each other, faces nervous. Namjoon raises his eyebrows, looking at them.
> 
> "Well?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> Sorry for the slightly longer than usual delay between updates! I just started summer school this week so I had to get done homework and summer work before I began on this. I hope you enjoy this chapter! There is more author's notes than usual- but PLEASE read them all. They are important for the story and will help you get more immersed before we blast off into Kai's life as BTS' 8th member. Thank you again and I love you all.
> 
> -Amanda

**CHAPTER TEN: I am Bad at First Impressions:**

 

**KAI'S POV- EXACTLY 45 MINUTES AGO:**

 

I stand in the middle of [the practice room](http://pm1.narvii.com/6351/0f4c6c187d94be41bede36132156164de9bdfe97_hq.jpg) and the executives sit in chairs that are placed around the edge for the room. Bang PD walks over to me and pats my shoulder, grinning.

 

"You're looking good, kid," Bang PD compliments, "I knew the stylist would do a good job. You look like a real idol."

 

I feel my face get red from the compliments since I'm really not used to getting them- but from how much makeup is on me, I doubt anyone can tell. I bow slightly.

 

"Now, I hope you've been practicing a lot lately so you're not that rusty. I told them that you haven't been working as a trainee lately so they'll understand for the most part- but still. The control and skill needs to be there," Bang PD tells me and I stare at him, blinking.

 

_...How long ago would he consider "lately"? The last time I was able to practice was about a month ago..._

 

Bang PD notices my pause and his eyes automatically narrow, "Kai, when is the last time you've practiced? Warmed up?"

 

I give him a huge smile and a thumbs up, telling him, "Don't worry, sir! It was recently."

 

_Have I ever mentioned that I'm a terrible liar?_

 

_I have. I definitely have._

 

_It's my one great weakness. The only reason I haven't been recruited by the CIA or the NIS yet. I would be such a kick-ass spy if I could lie properly._

 

_And if I had sunglasses._

He turns irritated- seeing right through me- and he quickly glances around the room before leaning in to lecture me.

 

"Warm up right now!" he whisper yells so everyone else doesn't hear him.

 

I stare, a little startled by the sudden request to do the embarrassing vocal warm ups- especially with everyone standing around me. Warming up your voice is important- but-

 

_One of the warm-ups for your voice is making yourself sound like a siren on an ambulance. I would really, really rather have that not be the first thing the entrepreneurs hear out of my mouth._

 

"What are you waiting for, Kai? Hurry up!"

 

"Sir I don't think we-" I start- trying to get myself out of becoming a siren on an emergency vehicle- and he gives me a look. If looks could kill-

 

He opens his mouth to snap at me right when the dance and voice instructors walk over.

 

"...Have time," I finish and now I'm biting my lip nervously. Not warming up before I had come into the practice room was a stupid mistake- and a really bad idea. I had just gotten so distracted by my nerves and the sudden surprise of a celebrity makeover that I had blanked out. Still, I definitely could not warm up right now.

 

I wonder what my old manager would have said if he had seen me now- he had always been trying to drill into my head that warming up was the most important thing to do in order to prepare for a performance. That's because if you get injured or lose your voice, you not only fail your company, your fellow members, and yourself- you fail your fans, too. You fail everyone who is giving you an opportunity to do what you love- all because you were too lazy to warm up. If you aren't able to perform because of your laziness,- and yes, forgetting something is laziness too because you did not care enough to remember- then what is the point of you being there? What is the point of calling yourself an idol?

 

With that ideology having drilled into my head around five years ago when I had first joined Fantaigo- me not having not warmed up properly before this audition is currently all that I can think about.

 

_Is my voice going to crack, now? I'm already an awkward hormonal teenager as it is- my voice is likely to crack even when it is warmed up._

 

_And what if I mess up dancing? I am really clumsy already as it is._

 

_I need to prove myself worthy. I can't afford mistakes like not warming up._

 

Bang PD closes his mouth as the instructors greet us and we plaster smiles on our faces and shake their hands. Bang PD then leaves me with them to start the audition. He walks back to his seat while shooting me a look that screams, _"Don't mess this up!"._

 

_No pressure, sir._

 

After I talk with the instructors for a bit and become introduced to them- they lay out my audition. It is a lot like what my audition for Fantaigo was like two years ago- I have to sing a couple songs and copy a couple dance moves. This is nothing I haven't done before.

 

_So why am I so nervous?_

 

_Oh right- because my entire future is riding on this. Almost forgot. And yes, I haven't warmed up properly either._

 

[I stare down at the paper with the song lyrics in my hands](http://pm1.narvii.com/5909/62e398fd203dcab1877ffb32dd70920b84bf6c9a_hq.jpg), trying not to look up at the executives watching me. If I look at their analyzing faces I'm definitely going to freeze up. The voice instructor tells me she is going to cue me on when to sing the lyrics once the music starts- so I continue to glance at her out of my peripheral vision. The music starts and I pause, eyes narrowing. I recognize this song.

 

_Isn't this that ten second teaser Jae got stuck in my head? That Bang PD had heard me singing?_

 

I look more closely at the lyrics- which are obviously long enough to take up more than ten seconds. 

 

_The finished version- has no one else heard this yet? Jae is going to be so jealous._

 

I'm grinning a little, thinking about how mad Jae is going to be and I'm so distracted by the thought that my heart nearly leaps out of my chest when I see the lady signal me to start singing out of the corner of my eye. Before I even think about it- I open my mouth and I start singing. I look up briefly to see everyone's initial reactions and I see Bang PD give a proud grin to everyone else that is sitting around them.

 

"See!" I hear him whisper to the executives and laugh, hitting the shoulder of the guy sitting next to him, "I told you I was confident in him! He is pure talent!"

 

My eyes narrow automatically as I continue to sing.

 

_That little sh-_

 

_Where was that confidence before the audition started?!_

 

I look back down before Bang PD and the executives notice me openly glaring at him and I stare at the paper- making sure I take breathes that give me enough air to tackle the next notes. I soon feel like I'm in another world. There is only the me, the sound of my breathing, and the music I have to sing to on the paper in front of me. Nothing else matters. As I continue to sing the lyrics- I find myself growing a little sad. This is a sad song, isn't it?

 

_Is because I can't relate to having a girl to need?_

 

_Ouch- probably. I'm truly forever alone. The only girls I will probably ever need is my sister and my mo- uh..._

 

 _My... mo... re or less annoying dog, Chibi._ _Moving on._

 

The songs go by in a fast blur. I sing one song in English- "Love Yourself" by Justin Bieber- and a couple songs from BTS. I sung off of the paper lyrics for all of the BTS songs because although some of the choruses of their more mainstream songs sound familiar from when I was in middle school, I really have never listened to any of their music.

 

 _When I become apart of BTS-_ wait-

 

_If I become apart of BTS- I'm not going to jinx myself here- I'm really going to have to remember a lot of songs and lyrics._

 

**(A/N: For Kai's singing voice- because I know everyone would probably want an idea of what it sounds like- Eunwoo (Kai's face claim if you don't remember) is going to be a good visual/audio reference- even though it will vary very slightly. So, Kai will generally share Eunwoo's voice (( it's meant to be higher than Tae's, yet lower than Jimin's)). However, one difference in his voice is that Kai's voice will be a little steadier/stronger than Eunwoo's and he will be able to hit pretty high notes in the story.[This is a video compilation of Eunwoo singing to help you get a better idea generally of what Kai's voice sounds like](https://youtu.be/EDisv65HaIM)\- Kai's voice will sound _especially_   like the songs he sings at 0:30-0:44 in the video and from 1:00 to the end.)**

 

After I finish singing- the dance instructor wastes no time and immediately starts showing me the moves that I need to copy. I stare intently- willing myself to follow the moves. I don't know if God has blessed my body today to dance well or what- but I manage to more or less copy the moves and show the executives that I can basically dance.

 

Most of the audition is a hazy blur- where my body and mouth move faster than my mind does. It's like my soul or passion or whatever has taken over and isn't allowing my mind to overthink things and mess up. When it's over- I feel drained, but excited. My heart pounds and adrenaline pumps through my veins. The executives break into applause and I feel my face burn.

 

_They're all clapping... for me. This is very strange. Unprecedented. What do I do?_

 

I bow a couple times, [smiling sheepishly](http://file.tinnhac.com/resize/600x-/music/2017/10/13/eunwoo-3-min-ba9c.jpg) and Bang PD walks up to me. The executives start filing out of the practice room and I look confused.

 

_Weren't they supposed to make the final decision right now?_

 

Bang PD sees my perplexed look and he tells me vaguely, "Don't worry- they're voting on it right now in private."

 

_I would learn in ten minutes that by "they", Bang PD meant BTS. But, until then-_

 

I nod quickly, looking at him.

 

"How do you feel, kid?" Bang PD asks me.

 

My excitement causes me to quickly overlook and forgive the doubt he had in me earlier and I speak before I can stop myself in a breathless voice, "I feel good. I feel great. I just- I didn't even think. I just did it."

 

_With my heart._

 

_Ew. I'm getting too sentimental._

 

_Yell at me to stop._

 

"Any regrets?" Bang PD asks.

 

As soon as he asks that question,[ I start SWEATING out of my eyes. Not crying. Just wanted to clarify.](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/9a/b4/95/9ab495724ac3c5b95642ac08ce6f3b46.jpg)

 

_The perks of being the narrator in a story about me is that I can make myself look good._

 

I must've worked my ass off in those auditions- my sweat drips on my face and blurs my vision.

 

I look at Bang PD, considering his question. The more I consider his question, the more I sweat.

 

"For the first time in my life, sir..." I start to say, but I guess my throat is too dry from singing too much and I choke up.

 

Bang PD watches me with a weird expression on his face. It's almost... sad and happy at the same time.

 

I try again so he stops looking at me like that- and I say, "For the first time in my life, sir, I have no regrets. None at all. I won't ever have any regrets about any of this."

 

Bang PD smiles brightly at my response and he claps my shoulder.

 

"That's what I want to hear. I know for sure you won't take advantage of this opportunity. You're not someone joining the group because of their success. I know you'll do this for the music, not for the fame. That's why I like you so much, kiddo," Bang PD tells me honestly, looking at me with kind eyes.

 

_For once... is he being sentimental?_

 

But, what he was saying was true... I loved music. Like my mo...

 

...Like my mom did.

 

I offer him a small smile and he keeps his hand on my shoulder as he asks me, "... Will you be okay here by yourself? I'll go check in on the... executives. You won't keep crying here by yourself, will you?"

 

"I'm sweating," is what I want to say, but I find myself too moved to say something witty back at him.

 

I'm still choked up, unable to speak unless I want to burst into sobs. I take a breath, putting the back of my hand against my mouth to stop myself from doing so and I just shake my head- assuring him I won't.

 

I'm still a really bad liar.

 

He laughs and replies, "Sure you won't. I'll be back, Kai."

 

He walks out of the practice room, leaving me alone.

 

I smile slowly, a little in shock.

 

_Why am I crying when I haven't even heard the results yet?_

 

I force myself to calm down. I can't get too excited just in case it doesn't work out- or I'll be crushed. I need to be on guard. Too many times I had thought something was in my grasp- only to see it slip through my fingers. It was like a balloon.

 

I wipe my face and walk over to the mirror and I choke and nearly scream at my reflection.

 

"Oh my god!" I automatically say as I stare at myself. My tears- I mean- my sweat- had made the eye liner that the young woman had spent so much time on drip down my face and smudge.

 

_Why didn't Bang PD tell me? I look like I'm back in my emo phase from middle school!_

 

My reflection makes me laugh- which makes me sad at the same time- and I see a box of tissues on the floor. 

 

_My savior- thank you._

 

I pick them up and start wiping under my eyes. I definitely don't want to be walking around Big Hit looking like a raccoon- that's not a good first impression.

 

_There._

 

I smile slightly at my reflection once now that I fixed the eyeliner and I turn around, searching the room for a trashcan to throw away all of the tissues I used.

 

I see a plastic one across the room and my eyes light up. 

 

_Basketball star Kai, here we go._

 

I throw the first one and it hits the wall before going in. I grin and try again, going for two in a row.

 

And- that's when the door opens. A guy who looks not much older than me walks in the front and blocks the trajectory of my three pointer. My eyes go wide for a second as it hits his arm lightly. He seems to stare at his arm for a second where the tissue hit him.

 

"Oh shit," I say reflexively in English and then my eyes go wide as I realize I cussed in front of him and I quickly say- in Korean again-, "I'm sorry, man- I was playing mini-basketball and you came out of nowhere. My bad, really."

 

I walk over and throw it away quickly, along with the rest of my tissues and I look up at his face, focusing a little more.

 

_Wait... doesn't he look familiar? Where do I-_

 

There's laughter behind him and a deeper voice that says, "Kookie- you blocked his shot."

 

I suddenly become aware of the six other boys who had yet to enter the room yet. Bang PD sighs, standing next to them and he looks at me, exasperated.

 

[My jaw drops open](https://koreaboo-cdn.storage.googleapis.com/2016/10/eunwoo-1-650x894.jpg) as I realize just exactly who they are. And... who I just hit with my used tissue.

 

I groan and cover my face with one of my hands.

 

_I hate my life. A lot._

 

_The guy I hit... Kookie? Is that short for Jungkook?_

 

"Uh..." I say, moving my hand from my face as I smile sheepishly and I look at "Kookie", "I'm sorry again. I swear to reflect on my behavior. I'll write a self-critical essay on why I should never try to play basketball with tissues again."

 

The younger boy- Jungkook, although he seems a little irritated, seems to smile faintly and he nods a bit.

 

My _training with Jae is paying off slightly._

 

The guys all walk in, some of them smiling- they're probably laughing at me- and some of them look a little nervous.

 

Bang PD hits my arm, sighing deeply as he gives me a look.

 

"Boys, this is Chen Kang Dae," Bang PD introduces me to them and I cringe slightly at his use of my full name. He looks over at me and continues, "But he goes by Kai Chen. He's seventeen years oldand he had been raised in Korea efore he moved and lived in the United States for two years."

 

**(A/N: Korea has a different aging system, so I'm going to get the explanation out of the way right now before it gets more confusing:**

 

 **Someone's Korean age can either be one or two years apart from their age in the United States. This is because when you are born in Korea, your age is automatically one year old an** **d everyone grows one year older at the same time on New Years. Due to this, it works out so that before your birthday in a given year, before your birthday, your Korean age is your Western age plus two; after your birthday, it is your Western age plus one.**

 

**I am not applying the Korean aging system to the fanfiction. When you see their ages, imagine it like their American age or just the age that they're considered as. If I were to make Kai's Korean age 17, he could be 15 in the U.S.- which would trip EVERYONE out. **

 

 **The date currently in the fanfiction is March 2015. Kai's birthday has already passed.** **Unlike they would in real life in Korea, I am having them turn older ON their birthdays. The only thing I am keeping the same is that they typically graduate from high school when they are 19. this is my way of making Kookie go to high school with Kai. ((** **you're welcome.)) The gap between their ages is the same as it is in real life, but based on the date some of them have had their birthday already and some have not. Here are their corresponding ages:**

 

**Kai: 17**

**Jungkook** **: 18**

**Taehyung: 20**

**Jimin: 20**

**Namjoon: 21**

**Hoseok: 22**

**Yoongi: 23**

**Jin: 23**  

 

**)**

Bang PD looks at the members, slapping my back and he says seriously to them, "He is now going to be under your care."

 

 ****I look confused.

 

"Under... their care?" I slowly say, my brain not yet comprehending what his words mean.

 

The boys look over at me.

 

I stare at them for a second and smile in disbelief, laughing a bit as my eyes go wide.

 

"Wait- the executives... they said yes?" I ask Bang PD.

 

"No," one of the boys in the front- the leader- Namjoon, right?- says, a slight smile tugging at his face, "We did."

 

I stay smiling at them- confused for a second, and then I realize. They voted me in.

 

_They.. wanted me?_

 

I hadn't realized it until now... but I was very nervous about them not wanting me on the team. I didn't want to feel like a burden on them.

 

I smile brighter as I look at all of them, feeling my vision blur slightly again but no tears come out. I bow deeply.

 

"Thank you- thank you very very much," I tell them.

 

More of them are smiling now- thank god they aren't too tough of a crowd. Bang PD hits my shoulder lightly, making me straighten up again from my bow.

 

"Your first day as a member of BTS starts now," Bang PD tells me and I nod seriously.

 

He glances at the boys and then looks back at me, continuing, "In an hour we'll have a meeting and discuss how we're going to move forward. Until then, I hope that you will get to know all of the boys and have them introduce themselves to you. Get yourself apart of the team."

 

My eyes go wide with nervousness-

 

_He's leaving me alone with them? But-_

 

Before I can say anything, Bang PD walks out. I stare at the door for a few moments for taking a deep breath and turning around and look at the seven older boys.

 

_Make a good fi- well, second impression, Kai. Make up for the used tissue._

 

[I smile and say, "Hi."](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/0b/c9/14/0bc914ed267a936d44680fc4118f265e.jpg)

 

 _Okay._ _Good start._

 

\---


	11. I am... Slightly Better at Second Impressions?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Your first day as a member of BTS starts now," Bang PD tells me and I nod seriously.
> 
> He glances at the boys and then looks back at me, continuing, "In an hour we'll have a meeting and discuss how we're going to move forward. Until then, I hope that you will get to know all of the boys and have them introduce themselves to you. Get yourself apart of the team."
> 
> My eyes go wide with nervousness-
> 
> He's leaving me alone with them? But- 
> 
> Before I can say anything, Bang PD walks out. I stare at the door for a few moments for taking a deep breath and turning around and look at the seven older boys.
> 
> Make a good fi- well, second impression, Kai. Make up for the used tissue. 
> 
> I smile and say, "Hi." 
> 
> Okay. Good start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!!
> 
> Sorry for the delay in updates! I had summer school, which made it really hard to update. Next chapter, Kai will truly begin his life as an idol. Thank you for reading- and I hope it continues to be as fun for you as it is me for me.
> 
> Bye bye!
> 
> -Amanda

**CHAPTER ELEVEN: I am... Slightly Better at Second Impressions?**

The guys watch me for a moment and then the leader- Namjoon- steps forward and he smiles politely and bows.

 

"I am Namjoon, or RM, the leader of BTS," he explains and then he turns around to introduce everyone else.

 

"This is Jin. He is like the mom of the group. He usually cooks meals for everyone- so if you have any allergies tell him now. He will help you with anything you need," he says and smiles politely.

 

"Hey mom," I say before I can stop myself.

 

_Shit. You idiot-_

 

The boys crack a couple shy smiles and Jin laughs and smiles at me, automatically feeling comfortable.

 

Jin then looks at Namjoon and points at him. He gives him a glare and tries his best not to smile, but he for the most part fails. The end result is Jin smiling creepily at Namjoon with his eyes mixed of anger and amusement. Namjoon smiles nervously, knowing what's coming as Jin begins to talk quickly- lecturing him.

 

"Hey!" Jin hits his shoulder and starts talking in a fast and loud tone.

 

"Don't think you can just dump all of the responsibilities on me! I may be the mom around here-," Jin starts and then pauses to smile kindly and say sweetly to me, "-hello to you too, son-"

 

All of the boys- including me- laugh at Jin's antics.

 

_So... is Jin the member who makes them all laugh the most?_

 

_I have competition. Friendly competition- of course. But still. Making people laugh is the only think I can brag about._

 

_...Even if I mostly only make people laugh when I am making a complete fool out of myself._

 

"-But that does not mean that I am the only one who is responsible for this new member!" Jin immediately continues loudly, angry again.

 

Jimin- I'm almost positive- is leaning over with laughter at Jin's sudden mood swings. Jungkook is grinning shyly and laughing. Taehyung is smiling the giant box smile that Jae had taken half of the time we had to review in order to explain and praise.

 

_She's right. His smile is contagious._

 

_I mean that in the least weird way as possible._

 

"Jin is right," another boy- ...Sugar? adds on calmly.

 

- _No, wait. Jae yelled at me for calling him that earlier. Who is it?_

 

Sugar, for now, continues as he looks at me and he says, "We all will help you with anything you need. Except for me. I won't help you at all. Don't ask me for anything."

 

I quickly stare at him, surprised at his bluntness.

 

_Why the hell is this Sugar so sour?!_

 

I continue to stare at him- I've never been good at confrontation- and after a few seconds I feel like an idiot. [From Sugar's slight smile](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/9c/e9/79/9ce9792bf9aeb67c4bd4047e1d00814d.jpg) at my reaction and the giggles of the boys behind him tell me he is just joking.

 

I relax and laugh breathlessly, putting a hand over my chest and I tell him, "Oh my god- I nearly had a heart attack! Imagine if I died within the first twenty minutes of being put in your care, huh? This isn't fair- I'm already really gullible when I'm not really, really nervous. Isn't their some sort of grace period? You know, the period where since I'm a new trainee everyone is like really nice and understanding? And I'm free from getting played jokes on?"

 

Words are tumbling out of my mouth again. Half of the words I am saying are making me sound like an idiot. I should maybe stop- but then again the seven other boys seem to be enjoying my unfortunately awkward, yet sarcastic attitude. They must not be able to resist my charms.

 

_The constant jokes on the newbies happened when I first entered Fantaigo too. Everyone always messes with the new trainees- it's a way to get them out of their shyness fast. If you embarrass the hell out of them early on- there's nothing left for them to hold back or feel embarrassed about. In theory._

 

_The members in Fantaigo had a lot of fun with me because I was and am so gullible. I'd believe the world was ending if someone ran up to me and told me so._

 

_Which... totally hasn't happened before. Totally._

 

_Just take my word for it- it's really easy to pull pranks on me. I basically set myself up for them every time._

 

_And unfortunately, being an easy target for pranks quickly makes you a frequent target too. If I was a little less nervous- like I definitely will be after I have been here for a couple weeks- maybe I could try to prepare myself to avoid easy pranks so I do not put a huge target on my back. Again._

 

I smile at them, trying to beg them with my eyes.

 

Sugar is still smiling very slightly as he says, "No way. You have to get inducted fast. We pull pranks on each other all the time. Get used to it, Kai Chen."

 

 _How is the Big Hit building both heaven and hell now at the same time?_  

 

My begging smile turns into a painful grimace as I think about all of the embarrassing moments that are in my future.

 

Everyone in the room is grinning easily now, joking around. The cold and distant atmosphere turns into something warmer. I can tell now that they are at least willing to give me a fair chance. 

 

_A fair chance is all I need._

 

"Namjoon has an IQ of 148 so please, do not come to me for homework help, go to him or Jungkook. I haven't done the work you high school students are doing in years," he says and smiles pleasantly, getting his revenge by giving them back some responsibilities.

 

_148?!_

 

_I am definitely going to him for help in school. I get good grades... but Jae says sometimes I act so stupid my IQ could be a negative number. And I'm not the best at math._

 

_Why do we need to do so many different things to numbers, anyways? It's not like I'm going to need to find the derivatives and integrals of functions in my everyday life._

 

_Wait... now that I'm apart of BTS, do I even need to know basic math?_

 

_Oh god- being apart of BTS is going to make me so lazy with my schoolwork-_

 

Someone gasps and I quickly turn, seeing Jungkook grinning- I didn't know he was so outgoing from how reserved he had acted.

 

"Hyung, did you just admit that you're old?" Jungkook says slowly, eyes bright with amusement. "You haven't done our work in years?"

 

Jimin laughs quietly but hits Jungkook's shoulder, shaking his head for disrespecting his hyung.

 

Jin stares at him, eyes wide.

 

"Do I look old to you?" Jin asks and he tilts his head to give himself a good angle.

 

_He doesn't even have a bad angle, though..._

 

"Jin, you don't look old. You are worldwide handsome!" Taehyung tells him excitedly and Jin smiles brightly, eyes soft.

 

"Thanks Tae-tae, but I want to hear it from our second youngest maknae."

 

_He's... already considering me the youngest maknae? I must be doing better in my second impression than I thought._

 

[Jungkook's face changes a bit and his smile seems to fade slightly](https://pm1.narvii.com/6521/bcb14b17672dd44fa62b0f4df6511cc2b0d103cb_hq.jpg). He mumbles, "No, you don't look old."

 

Jin just smiles and rolls his eyes, looking away from Jungkook, "Whispering it doesn't make it any less true. I accept your 'apology'" I stare at them, blinking.

 

Jungkook smiles normally again- that was weird- and goes over to Jin to play fight with him. Jungkook reaches to poke Jin's neck and Jin swats his hand away, face determined.

 

I stare, a little surprised. 

 

_I think... I think everyone is crazy, just like me. I'm shocked. I thought they would be a bunch of..._

 

_Well- let's just say that most of the idols and trainees that I have met are serious and stuck-up._

 

_I don't have to control my weirdness in fears of scaring them away- they’re just as weird as I am!_

 

_Up until now, I definitely saw scaring them away as a possibility._

 

Jimin looks over at me, quiet and he smiles softly.

 

_He is so gentle- why does he remind me of a puppy?_

 

"Guys, we should get back on track on introducing ourselves," Jimin says while smiling.

 

”Right,” Sugar agreees, wanting to move on, “I am Min Yoongi- or Suga- and I will actually help you out or give you advice if you ask me.”

 

_Oh right! Suga! That’s what his name is._

_Good thing I didn’t call him that out loud. He seems like the type of guy who would hate being called Sugar._

Taehyung smiles and tells me, “It’s true. Suga-hyung is really good with giving advice and fixing things. He also helps Jin cook sometimes. If Jin is the mom, he is the dad.”

 

Suga- Yoongi- rolls his eyes, but doesn’t deny anything of what Tae says. He seems pleased with all of the compliments Taehyung is giving him.

 

 J-Hope steps up next, already grinning and he tells me excitedly in english, “I’m your hope, your angel, everyone’s sun, Jung Hoseok or J-Hope."

 

I laugh a bit.

 

_J-Hope. Your hope. I get it._

 

_They all like inserting random English words into their conversations. It's... amusing._

 

"Don't let him fool you,"  Jin says, "He may be a sunshine but he also leads the dance practices. He's amazing- but scary."

 

"It's only scary because you can't dance, hyung," Jungkook says with a grin and Jin gasps and points at him, snapping his fingers and he waves him over.

 

"Come here," Jin says calmly, smiling politely.

 

Jungkook smiles nervously and shakes his head.

 

"Noooo, hyung- I'm sorry. I take it back. You're an amazing dancer," Jungkook quickly says, regretting all of his life choices.

 

Jin just laughs calmly and keeps waving him over, eyes pissed off. Jungkook continues to smile nervously and shake his head. 

 

Jimin turns to me and continues. “I’m Park Jimin. I uh- am not sure what to say about myself. I’m a...” Jimin starts, and then he continues in broken English, “Cool guy!”

 

_See what I mean?_

 

_Either way, the random English is super adorable._

 

I smile brightly.

 

Everyone else in the group smiles brightly too and Namjoon just messes up Jimin’s hair, grinning and shaking his head. Jin is now distracted by Jimin's kindness- to Jungkook's relief.

 

“I am Kim Taehyung!” Tae says quickly, excited, and he tilts his head- thinking about what he wants to say.

 

[He continues to stare up, thinking.](https://pa1.narvii.com/6638/6f0a3c02cbd721f76157dc3b74d1aba79cc872bf_hq.gif)

 

”Tae, did you shut down or something?” Hoseok says with an amused smile and Jimin laughs and hits Tae's arm- wanting him to say something.

 

”This is my first introduction! It’s important!" Taehyung says while pouting and he has a serious face as he tells me, "Well- I guess you can call me Tae and I am here to play games with you and give hugs! I also am really good with fashion.”

 

”Games?” I automatically ask, eyes lighting up and Taehyung pauses and Jungkook looks over quickly. I think this is the first time Jungkook has payed any attention to me since we've all been in here.

 

Half of the boys groan as Taehyung quickly grabs my arm and jumps up and down.

 

"Do you like games?" he smiles brightly and leans towards me so he's inches from my face.

 

I stare at him, eyes wide, but I smile and reply, "Of course I do!"

 

"Yes! Jungkook loves games, too- we can all play later!" Taehyung quickly says, excited and looks at Jungkook for affirmation.

 

Jungkook just shrugs.

 

_Is Jungkook really shy or something?_

 

_No- it can't be. He's very outgoing with everyone else._

 

_Maybe it's just because he doesn't know me yet?_

 

_Yeah. Yeah- it has to be that. It can't be because of the tissue._

 

_Can it?_

 

I know I shouldn't be caring this much about Jungkook not being overly excited to see me After all, Bang PD had briefly told me that the boys did not expect to be getting a new member- especially not this soon- so it might take them a while to adjust. Still, I have that weird personality trait where I want to be able to please everyone and make everyone really happy. If I ever cause anyone to become upset- I feel terrible afterwards.

 

Namjoon just smiles awkwardly before slowly telling Jungkook, "Hey, why don't you introduce yourself now?"

 

Jungkook stares at Namjoon for a second, awkwardly, but he smiles politely and says in a nice tone, "I am Jungkook. I'm a student in high school."

 

All of the boys wait for him to say something more about himself- anything- but after a long pause Hoseok just smiles brightly and says, "Okay! There you go- we have all of us."

 

Yoongi is looking down at his phone for the time and says, "We should head to the meeting right now."

 

"Alright, let's go," Jin says.

 

Taehyung, still holding my arm, smiles brightly and pulls me out the door and into the hallway. Jimin grins and skips next to us.

 

I glance behind me- seeing Hoseok and Yoongi walking behind us. However, I see Jungkook with Jin and Namjoon still back in the room. It seems like they are talking about something serious- and neither of them look very happy. I frown for a moment, but before I can start to worry Taehyung squeezes my arm to get my attention as he keeps walking down the hallway and pulling me along with him.

 

"Kai, how are you feeling?" Taehyung asks me, voice excited.

 

I tilt my head, thinking about it for a moment. I slowly tell him, "I feel nervous and out of my comfort zone, but very excited. I'm ready to work hard."

 

"Good," Jimin says with a smile, walking on the other side of me, "We all are pretty ambitious- we start to get crabby if we are at a standstill for too long and aren't really working on anything."

 

"I promise- I will put in all of my effort," I assure him again.

 

"Of course you will!" Taehyung says.

 

"You better," Yoongi says behind us and Jimin and Taehyung just smile fondly.

 

"Don't worry about Yoongi-hyung," Taehyung says and he lowers his voice to a quiet whisper, "He looks and acts like a lion, but he is really like a cat."

 

Taehyung meows loudly to demonstrate and I laugh.

 

_Taehyung... is very weird. But nice. I can tell he's trying to make me more comfortable._

 

_Jimin is nice too. They all are nice. Even Jungkook. At least, I can tell he Is nice to the other boys and is trying with me._

 

_I don't want to let them down. They all have dreams, too. Dreams that they cannot reach unless I put in my full effort._

 

_I won't let them down._

 

Jimin, Taehyung, and I come stumbling [through the door of the meeting room](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/24/55/1b/24551b883de1686d35e953d43312dedf.jpg)\- both of them are leaning on me. Hoseok and Yoongi hold back, glancing back at the practice room where the rest of the boys had stopped earlier.

 

_I'm... not used to this much physical contact._

 

_Unless I'm getting beat up._

 

I find myself laughing quietly under my breath.

 

_I'm hilarious._

 

 _Don't lie to me. Self-depreciating jokes are the best kinds of jokes._ _You know they are._

 

Bang PD looks up from some papers he was looking at and he just blinks at us, face unamused as we all three plop down in chairs. Sitting around Bang PD is the fashion designer girl from earlier and some other employees that I do not know.

 

"I'm glad to see you are all getting along. However, I can't say I'm excited by Kai fueling your shenanigans."

 

Taehyung and Jimin grin at each other and shrug and I look at him, mouth open slightly in offense.

 

"What have I done to fuel anything?" I question, eyebrows raised.

 

Just then, the rest of the members sit down and have a seat. Jungkook is looking everywhere but over towards me. I can see through Jimin's smile his eyes are worried slightly and he glances at Jungkook.

 

Bang PD notices the glances too, but he decides to ignore them.

 

_Something is definitely going on._

 

"You guys have had time to introduce yourselves, yes?" Bang PD questions and the boys nod. They all sit down in the seats gathered around the table.

 

"Yes, sir," Namjoon says.

 

Jin is gritting his teeth and looking at Jungkook- either agitated, worried, or both.

 

Something is definitely going on.

 

Bang PD continues to ignore it.

 

"I'll begin by explaining everything- starting from when I had exactly decided on getting an eighth member- until now," Bang PD tells the boys.

 

They all stare at him, waiting for an explanation to help them sort out everything better. I can't say I blame them. This entire situation has been... crazy.

 

"After I had told you boys about my idea for an eighth member, I wanted to go to the United States to just merely scout some of the talent down there. I was holding auditions amongst prestigious trainees- even American trainees- just so I could maybe figure out exactly what I was looking for. I probably wouldn't have accepted any of them quite yet, to be honest. I myself understood at the time it would have been so sudden to pick an eighth member already. However, before I had even held the auditons- on my first day in the United States, I was walking back from the pharmacy that was literally right next to my hotel when I heard someone singing 'I NEED U'."

 

I groan quietly, feeling my face burn. 

 

_He's really going to expose me like that?_

 

Jimin smiles at me as he questions softly, "Are you a fan, Kai?"

 

I blink and open my mouth quickly to say no- to clear my name, but I pause as I think quietly to myself.

 

_Would saying "no" be considered mean?  Like, I've never listened to much of their music before and I didn't know who they were until a couple days ago. ... I guess I respect them now, don't I? So-_

 

 All of the boys take my pause as a yes and they grin and tease me.

 

"Kai, if you wanted our autographs you should've just-" Jin starts- half-teasing me.

 

Bang PD sighs and interrupts him as he continues the story, "I was so shocked at someone singing both the English and Korean parts from 'I NEED U' and was even more shocked that they had already memorized some of the song based on the ten second teaser that was released on our YouTube channel."

 

"We haven't even finished recording that song, yet," Yoongi comments, raising his eyebrows as he stares at me. All of the members are looking at me differently now- warily.

 

_Can't he hurry up and tell them that I'm really not an obsessive fan?!_

 

I bite my tongue, fighting the urge to interrupt them.

 

"I look over and see Kai- a Korean teenage boy. I notice more details- his looks, his work uniform- showing that he has a job in between his schooling. From what I saw, he was BTS material. A good voice, a seemingly good appearance, and the ability to work hard. It was a plus if he was as fluent in English as he seemed and if he was obsessed with BTS- then he wouldn't have to work so hard in order to learn all of the songs' lyrics and choreography. My mind started going wild- it seemed like I was destined to meet this kid. I was going to keep walking past him- I was telling myself that I was moving too fast- but I soon found myself turning around and running after him. I scared him pretty bad- he tried punching me because he thought I was a mugger."

 

"Tried to punch you?" jimin questions, eyes interested.

 

I feel my face burn and I stare at Bang PD, eyes begging.

 

_Sir- for the love of god- please spare me._

 

He looks right over me and laughs as he tells the boys, "He hurt his hand more than he hurt me... Anyways, I started to introduce myself when his sister came out of the house and started screaming as soon as she saw me. I soon found out that the reason Kai was singing that song was because his sister had watched that teaser we put up so many times he subconsciously remembered and sang it."

 

The room's atmosphere seems to relax as he confirms I'm not just some crazy fan again and they boys laugh easier about my bad fighting skills.

 

"In my defense- it was cold. It's hard to punch when it's cold," I tell him and Taehyung grins and pats my arm- comforting me.

 

"Anyways..." Bang PD says, just giving me an unamused look, "I found out he was indeed fluent in English and had only moved from Korea two years ago- so I came up with an idea to get time to meet with him about possibly being an eighth member by lying and saying I needed a translator the next day- and he agreed to do it. I took the night to research him- realize that he has more performing experience than I realized... He was a very promising trainee at Fantaigo- that's a story Kai can tell you, for another time- before he had moved to the United States. Now, I was even more sure in my decision of what I was going to do when I met him next- which was to offer him a chance to audition at Big Hit to become the eighth member- and a guarantee of at least a job here. Next thing you know- I have him on a plane back to Korea and now we are here."

 

Namjoon blinks and comments, "Wow. That's insane."

 

"So... you just bumped into him by chance? Like fate?" Hoseok says with a bright smile on his face.

 

Taehyung gasps as the word "fate", excited.

 

Jungkook glances at me, seeming to consider some things now that he has learned a little more about me. Still, he stays silent.

 

"Now, let me get to everyone's schedule," one of the employees states as he stands up, looking down at a paper. The seven other boys around me automatically pull out their phones. I glance around quickly, bewildered.

 

Yoongi stares at me, seeming amused- but he doesn't smile or say anything.

 

"It's for taking notes. You definitely should- these dates are important," Jin explains to me and I quickly pull out my phone.

 

"Thanks," I whisper back to him and the employee starts reading off the dates.

 

"As you know, today is March 5, 2015. At the end of April, we will release I NEED U as a single and as a music video. The recording for the music video starts in two weeks- so you need to finish the song recording by next week. As you know, a couple other singles will be released along with I NEED U and next year they will be released again along with other songs under an album. Before the album is released, you guys will go on tour in November this year- performing some of the new singles from the EPs we are going to release as well as the older ones. It will only be eight shows; three in Korea and five in Japan. After we release the full album, we will go on a bigger tour starting May 2016. In between the tour dates, you all will continue to practice, work on making the album, go to interviews, awards shows, do v-lives, reality shows, and photo shoots in order to continue to have relevance."

 

_Oh my god- do they even have time to sleep or eat?_

 

The boys nod and then the employee zeroes in on me.

 

_Oh Jesus. I hate eye contact._

 

I stare back at the employee, blinking once.

 

"Kai, you are going to be kept a complete secret to the fans for now. Your first debut will be in I NEED U- in the song and the music video. No one has recorded their voice for I NEED U yet besides for the ten second teaser, so you will do it along with everyone else. As you may or may not know, BTS and Big Hit have decided to start a story with the music videos. The plot is very intricate- we can't even tell you most of it, as we do not want you spoiling it. You have an important role in the series as well- Mr. Bang had instructed us to write for an eighth member just in case. It seems to have paid off. Anyways- you will debut in I NEED U- but wearing a mask. Your actual identity will be revealed at a later date. We need to be careful with the fans and see what their reaction is first... So, obviously you will not be able to go around with BTS to all of the awards shows, reality shows, and everything I have just mentioned coming up for them because to the public- you do not exist yet. Your schedule will consist of you going to school, then practicing with the other trainees in order to fine tune your skills to BTS-quality level, and then recording songs and music videos with the boys. You will be staying in the dorm with them- in Jungkook's room."

 

Jin, Namjoon, and Jungkook all look up quickly at that.

 

"I don't know if that's...," Namjoon starts, but Jin quickly interrupts him.

 

"No. I think it's perfect. Jungkook still goes to school a few days out of the week when he isn't given work to do outside of class- they'll get ready and go to school together. Besides- Jungkook is the only one who has his own room."

 

[Namjoon is looking at Jin like he is crazy.](http://www.whatthekpop.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/bts-rm-2.jpg)

 

Jungkook just opens and closes his mouth, not saying much. 

 

_...I guess he likes having his own room?_

 

"Kai, the first day of school for you is in a couple of days. So lucky for you- you won't be coming in the middle of the year," Mr. Bang explains and I pause for a second.

 

_Wait... I have just spent the entire year in school in the United States. It was going to be summer in a couple months..._

 

_Are you saying I have to start the entire school year over again?!_

 

_I completely forgot that the school year in Korea starts in March..._

 

_And that school goes from eight AM to four PM here instead of two PM..._

 

_I miss schooling in the United States. It wasn't as good quality-wise, but... it sure as hell was easier._

 

_Then again, wouldn't this be like relearning what I've already learned? So... it'll be easier?_

 

"You'll also be taking more advanced classes with Jungkook since it is to my understanding that you've already learned most of the information for what should have been your 11th year. Once you finish this school year, the school will allow you to take more advanced courses online for your final year so you'll be able to be with BTS full time."

 

_Never mind._

 

_Does Bang PD read my mind and ask himself, "What can I do to make Kai suffer the most today?"_

 

_Does Satan reply, "Well, Bang, put him in a class and room with the one member who seems not to like him and have him be the weird younger kid in a class full of senior- or 12th years."?_

 

I slowly nod my head, sighing deeply. Bang PD smiles knowingly. 

 

_That little-_

 

"School starts exactly one week from now- so for now you will be practicing from morning to nighttime with other trainees- and recording music and MVs with BTS in between when they are back here after interviews and variety shows. Also- I need to let you know that unless you are inside of the dorms, it is important that you wear a mask at all times. Your identity cannot be known by any of the trainees- there's a reason why there was only staff in here today. The trainees might get jealous of you and want to ruin your career. You need to hide who you are in order to stop them from spreading any bad rumors about you before you debut," the employee speaks up again.

 

I frown as I tilt my head.

 

_There were no trainees here today?_

 

_Now that I think about it... it's true that I only saw employees._

 

_Just like the trainees at Fantaigo- the ones at Big Hit are willing to do anything to get to the top._

 

_I'll have to watch my back again- but then again, what's new?_

 

"So, he'll have to wear a mask all of the time?" Jin asks, eyes wide as he glances at me.

 

_Yes! Thank you, Jin- finally, someone is asking the right questions._

 

"Yes," Bang PD says, eyes serious. "His identity absolutely has to be kept a complete secret from everyone except us and the executives."

 

Taehyung pouts and questions, "But... can we take pictures with him?"

 

Hoseok and Jimin both brighten up at the thought.

 

_They would want to take pictures with me? Really...?_

 

Bang PD sighs and smiles as he replies, "Of course you can. But, you obviously cannot post them or send them anywhere."

 

"Wouldn't it be hard to breathe wearing a mask the entire time?" Namjoon asks- being very practical- and I smile at him gratefully.

 

Bang PD sighs and pulls out the[ mask he plans to use](https://ae01.alicdn.com/kf/HTB1.tUBh6nD8KJjSspbq6zbEXXa5/Windproof-Breathable-Balaclava-Ninja-Tactical-Airsoft-Paintball-Hats-Ninja-Helmet-Full-Face-Mask-Dust-proof.jpg).  **(A/N: the one all the way on the right)**

 

"It has mesh on the mouth so he'll be able to breathe easier. Besides- he'll have to get used to wearing a mask after he debuts in the music video for I NEED U. After he's in the MV, he'll start debuting with you guys in a mask in order to build excitement and suspense for his identity reveal- and to hopefully the majority of ARMY on board with having an eighth member," Bang PD explains.

 

Taehyung and Jimin stare at it for a minute.

 

"Wait... doesn't that look like..." Jimin starts.

 

"The force!" Taehyung screams suddenly in English as Namjoon groans.

 

"Do you mean..." I start, and then finish in English, "Star Wars?"

 

I look at the mask as Taehyung nods quickly and smiles.

 

_It... does actually look like Darth Vader. A tad bit._

 

_But do you know what it looks even more like?_

 

_A PROPER SPY MASK._

 

_I REPEAT:_

 

_I'M A PROPER SPY._

 

[I grin happily ](https://tse2.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.QUv5docE-U1nuAyAlH4oxQHaHa&pid=15.1&P=0&w=300&h=300)as I take the mask from him- no longer having any issues with it.

 

Bang PD turns to the rest of the boys after he sees that they are content and he claps his hands, saying, "Alright. You all can go back to the dorm now and rest for now. Kai- your stuff will be there for you to unpack."

 

Everyone starts standing up- putting their phones away- and Bang PD raises his hand and gets everyone to freeze.

 

"Take care of each other," he says, looking right at Jungkook- which causes all of the other members to uncomfortably look at each other because they know he is getting called out.

 

"You guys are all family now. You are all brothers and you are trying to help each other chase your dreams. Don't forget that. You are not each other's competitions, you are a team," Bang PD says.

 

Jungkook walks out first without saying anything or being dismissed, leaving the rest of the members staring at Bang PD with wide eyes and mouths wide open.

 

"Sir- I will- I'm very sorry, Mr. Bang. I will talk to him about his disrespect," Namjoon quickly says.

 

Bang PD waves his hand and smiles, replying, "I understand why he's angry. Just give him some time."

 

All of the members glance at each other- silent communication passing between them.

 

_Okay- apparently they all know what each other are saying just from a look. When do I get this special ability, hm? Because right now- I'm so lost._

 

Hoseok smiles down at me- since I'm the only one still sitting and he says kindly, "Come on Kai- let's go to the dorms."

 

I stand up and walk out with the rest of the boys- who are chatting quickly to me. Namjoon frowns disapprovingly at everyone's forgetfulness as he quickly takes the mask from my hands and puts it on me. I quickly apologize and we keep walking down the hallway. They point out some of the important places in the Big Hit Building that we pass on the way to the dorms. Jin at one point awkwardly apologizes for Jungkook's behavior- saying that he's not usually like this.

 

[I smile brightly and clench my fists in determination as I reply](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/tKy4MrkJ4ZslBR0RnNKPyf1KngpcMcDKthtVQMIN8vxJF1HQMXyDOBBpUjTLuCV1pTLz3GKN9vM_KQGM7_Heo9bi06wg7TZg=w1600-rj), "Don't worry. I know- he seems really nice. He can't resist my charms forever. Watch- we'll become best friends right away."

 

The boys laugh, shaking their heads at my cockiness and we continue to walk back to the dorms.

 

_...I would later find out that my "charms" are actually really, really easy to resist. Especially if the owner of those charms replaced your spot as BTS' youngest brother._

 

_Jeon Jungkook, I would later come to realize, actually hated me. And I can't say I entirely blamed him._

 

_Didn't I tell you earlier that I always manage to embarrass myself?_

 

_Well... I also somehow always managed to embarrass him, too._

 

\---


	12. I'm a Blob

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I stand up and walk out with the rest of the boys- who are chatting quickly to me. Namjoon frowns disapprovingly at everyone's forgetfulness as he quickly takes the mask from my hands and puts it on me. I quickly apologize and we keep walking down the hallway. They point out some of the important places in the Big Hit Building that we pass on the way to the dorms. Jin at one point awkwardly apologizes for Jungkook's behavior- saying that he's not usually like this.
> 
> I smile brightly and clench my fists in determination as I reply, "Don't worry. I know- he seems really nice. He can't resist my charms forever. Watch- we'll become best friends right away."
> 
> The boys laugh, shaking their heads at my cockiness and we continue to walk back to the dorms.
> 
> ...I would later find out that my "charms" are actually really, really easy to resist. Especially if the owner of those charms replaced your spot as BTS' youngest brother.
> 
> Jeon Jungkook, I would later come to realize, actually hated me. And I can't say I entirely blamed him.
> 
> Didn't I tell you earlier that I always manage to embarrass myself?
> 
> Well... I also somehow always managed to embarrass him, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys!!! 
> 
> I am so sorry for the delayed update in chapters! I'm trying to get back on schedrule, so don't worry- I'm not dead and would never end this story. I love it so so much. I hope you enjoy reading. I will try to do recaps the best I can to refresh everyone's memory of the story. This chapter is a filler chapter that is trying to set up Kai and his time at Big Hit! The next chapter will hopefully have more plot. Okay! Bye everyone!
> 
> -Amanda

** CHAPTER TWELVE: I'm a Blob: **

********Jin freezes in the doorway to our dorm which causes me and the six other members to crowd around him.

 

_What the hell is going on?_

 

I go on my tiptoes- Taehyung is in front of me and he is very tall- and I see [a backpack](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51JLCl6lwJL.jpg) on the floor. I squint, staring at it for a few seconds and I realize that it's my bag

 

I smile brightly and exclaim, "Oh, my stuff!"

 

I push past them and pick up my bag. I grin happily as I pull it up and unzip the front pocket, looking for my headphones that I had left in there.

 

_Where the hell did I put those motherf-_

 

_Wait._

 

_Why do I feel so weird right now?_

 

I slowly look up, still holding my bag and I see the boys all staring at me.

 

_Damn it- what did I do now?_

 

"Uh... what is it?" I slowly ask.

 

The boys all glance at each other until Namjoon finally asks, "Is that your bag?"

 

I look down at it and realize what he means.

 

_My backpack looks terrifying... God, I'm such a nerd..._

 

"Oh- it's from an anime I used to watch. It's called Bleach. It's uh- about this guy named Ichigo who has a big sword and-" I start explaining, my face red.

 

_Bleach is going to be heard to explain... It's over 200 episodes..._

 

Some of the boys laugh a bit at my reaction, but they all stay uncomfortable. There is something else going on...

 

_What the hell is it?_

 

"No no," Jin says, shaking his head, "What Namjoon means is- well... is that all of your stuff?"

 

_All of my stuff? What do they mea- Oh._

 

_Oh._

 

I force myself to grin and look down at my bag, patting it.

 

"Yeah. Why? Is it not enough?" I question, trying to play it off like I made a mistake in packing. The last thing I wanted them to do was feel bad for me because I was "poor".

 

"Not enough? Those clothes are going to last you a week! What are you going to do?" Jin lectures me.

 

"Wash them every week?" I slowly answer, but it comes out more like I'm asking a question since I'm confused.

 

_That's what I was planning on doing- I usually wash all of my own clothes, anyways. It's no big deal for me to wash my clothes every week. What's wrong with that?_

 

_Plus... these are the only clothes I have, basically._

 

"You're an idol, now, Kai. You can't wear the same clothes..." Jimin politely explains.

 

I blink quickly.

 

_First of all- I didn't expect to become one of Jin's kids who he lectures so fast._

 

_Second of all- why the hell can I not wear the same clothes?!_

 

_Maybe... because it's "bad taste"? Would it reflect badly on BTS...?_

 

_If that's the case..._

 

_I can't say I'm just going to go buy some... because I really cant..._

 

_What the hell do I say?_

 

"He can borrow some of mine," Yoongi says before I can think of a reply, giving me a strange look and I look up quickly at him in surprise.

 

_Sugar..._

 

_I'm touched._

 

"Uhm…" I start to say, feeling bad for burdening him- but I can't exactly say no, now can I?

 

"What?! Suga hyung, you cant!" Taehyung quickly says.

 

_Oh god- here we go- I knew they weren't going to accept me that easily-_

 

"I have a much better sense in fashion than you do! You're going to dress him bad!" Taehyung exclaims and he puts an arm around me protectively, pouting.

 

_I totally knew that they were going to accept me this easily. Seriously, what great guys-_

 

"You're way taller than he is. He's probably my clothing size," Yoongi tells him, unamused and he adds on vaguely, "Besides, I doubt he'll be very picky."

 

"What?" Taehyung questions and the other boys just look confused.

 

I stare at Yoongi.

 

_He definitely knows._

 

_He knows why I don't have a lot of clothes. But how?_

 

 _Sugar- I swear to god-_   _Please don't say anything._

 

Yoongi just stares at me for a few more seconds before grinning and looking back at the boys, "What? Didn't you see the pictures that appeared in the newspaper of him at the airport? His sense of style is even worse than mine."

 

_Forget what I said about them being great guys. My sense of style is great._

 

I stay silent, deciding not to reply with anything witty since Yoongi is helping me out.

 

Hoseok laughs and just pats my shoulder, telling me, "Don't worry, Kai. Most of us weren't very good with fashion at first, either. You start to get better at it as time goes on- since you have to keep up with the trends. And the stylists help a ton- they're amazing."

 

_You-_

 

I force a smile- Hoseok really is trying to be nice- and nod.

 

"Alright guys, we should go to bed early," Namjoon says, glancing at the clock. "We have an interview early in the morning- except for Kai, of course. You will have practice with the trainees. And then in the afternoon we will all meet up record the full song for I NEED U."

 

Everyone gives a nod or a couple words of affirmation and walk off their separate ways. Except Jungkook and I.

 

_Yay._

 

_Okay- that was mean. I am sure he's nice- it's just..._

 

_He seems to hate me. Just a little._

 

_I need to change that before it gets too awkward. Here's my chance._

 

I take a breath and slowly turn to him, a smile on my face and tell him, "So, we are roomies now!"

 

_"Roomies"..._

 

_You goddamn idiot..._

 

Jungkook just stares at me and I sigh, quickly bowing my head in an apology.

 

"Hold on- let me try that again," I quickly tell him, face dead serious for a second before I look back up and ask him with a smile, "So, Jungkook- how should I unpack?"

 

If I'm not mistaken I think I see a slight smile on his face.

 

_Hell yes, Kai! Use your killer charms!_

 

"Here, follow me," Jungkook says and he walks to his room.

 

I slowly follow behind him and look around.

 

The room is fairly clean- with just a couple clothes or papers scattered here or there. I stop in front of the bunkbed he has.

 

"So... which bunk is mine?" I ask and Jungkook points to the top one. I just look up at the bunk slowly and smile dumbly, nodding.

 

 _I hate heights. Or standing on things where I can fall. Be_ _cause I literally always fall off of things. And fall. In general._

 

_But I'll be damned if I make Kookie hate me more by asking him to move._

 

"Perfect!" I say, clapping my hands and look down at my backpack.

 

Jungkook notices and he tells me, "Right- your stuff can go in the bottom three drawers of the dresser over there. Mine are in the top three."

 

"Got it," I say and squat down in front of the dresser as I start organizing my small wardrobe. 

 

I put the clothes that I have in the drawer and continue to dig through my bag to unpack the rest of my stuff.

 

_Wait- does he care about having food in here?_

 

"Jungkook-" I start to ask, but as I turn around to face him I see that he's already knocked out on his bunk.

 

_Jesus- is it even possible to fall asleep that fast? They must be working hard since their comeback is coming up..._

 

_Oh wait- not their comeback. Our comeback._

 

_I wouldn't be "coming back" though, I would be arriving. So how does that work?_

 

_That's going to bother me- oh my god I have it._

 

_It's my... "arrival"._

 

_That sounds so cool._

 

I stay silent and just quietly peer in my back at the massive amounts of snacks I had last minute shoved into there from the airport.

 

_Maybe I'll wait to eat them until tomorrow. Just in case. Some people are weird about having food in their room._

 

I stare longingly at the snacks for a few more seconds and then quickly zip up my bag and throw it in the corner of the room.

 

_I should sleep since I have to get up for training early tomorrow..._

 

 I take a deep breath as I climb up the ladder slowly in the dark, my heart pounding. I quickly lie down and tightly hug my pillow, squeezing my eyes shut.

 

_Sleep._

 

...

...

...

 

Jungkook's loud-ass alarm of some IU song starts blasting in our room, waking us up.

 

_IU? Jungkook... are you a fanboy?_

 

I find myself grinning even though I'm annoyed by being woken up so suddenly. I roll over slowly, rubbing my face.

 

Jungkook stands up from his bed, yawning and he sluggishly goes across the room to turn off the alarm. [He turns back towards me and I find myself busting out laughing.](http://pm1.narvii.com/6253/3d96bc600d3c1ace785b88d50bee8a489b0d1b35_hq.jpg)

Jungkook, still half-asleep, gives me an annoyed look of disbelief.

 

"What?" he asks and I sit up.

 

"Your hair... you look like a porcupine," I tell him, staring at his spiky hair going in at least twenty different directions.

 

I continue to smile brightly at him in amusement.

 

_Damn- if I could reach my phone right now this would be such good blackmail._

 

His face seems to burn as he turns away, fixing his hair. He silently starts getting ready, putting on sweatpants and a t-shirt since the designers are going to dress him for the interview anyways. I raise an eyebrow before slowly- and carefully- climb down from my bunk and start putting on my own clothes. As soon as he's done getting ready, Jungkook rushes out of the room.  I stare at the door for a few moments and just quietly shrug to myself.

 

_Whatever. I'm sure it's fine._

 

_He's... a weird guy._

 

_I like it._

 

 After I'm finished getting dressed I glance at the clock- jesus it's so early- and I quickly walk out to go to training. I slowly start walking down the hallway, yawning occasionally and I see Bang PD walking towards me. I smile brightly and wave at him.

 

"Hey Mr. B-"

 

Bang PD grabs my shirt and quickly drags me back into my room. My eyes go wide.

 

"Kai..." Bang PD says, smiling in a scary way.

 

_What. What did I do._

 

[I blink, continuing to stare at his face.](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/e8/25/d2/e825d29b7d19e4fdb4eb8cf062586523.jpg)

 

"Kai, tell me what's wrong with what you're wearing," Bang PD says sweetly.

 

_Is... this about my fashion choice again?!_

 

_Seriously- I've had enough-_

 

I groan, annoyed. 

 

"Bang PD- sir- look, my fashion seriously isn't that bad! I don't understand what everyone is on abo-" I start, but Bang PD puts up a hand.

 

"First of all- your fashion really is that bad. But second of all- that's not what I'm talking about," Bang PD says.

 

"If I wasn't so confused right now I would be offended," I tell him, frowning deeply and tilting my head.

 

Bang PD sighs and rolls his eyes.

 

"Where the hell is your mask, Kai Chen?" Bang PD asks me.

 

"What the hell do you mean? I'm weari-" I start, but then I realize I am in fact NOT wearing it, and I laugh nervously.

 

_This is... so funny._

 

_Haha...._

 

Bang PD laughs sarcastically with me, eyes pissed and he grabs the mask off of the dresser and puts it on me himself.

 

"Oops?" I say innocently- my voice slightly quieter from the mask- and Bang PD gives me a look.

 

"Kai, don't make me glue this mask onto your face. It's important that you never forgot to wear it when you're out. Never. Except when you're at school, and when you're there you are just acting like a normal transfer student. Not a trainee," Bang PD tells me, eyes serious.

 

"I won't do it again, sir," I quickly tell him, "I'm on the verge of a heart attack- I won't forget again, trust me."

 

"I have no choice, do I?" Bang PD says and he pulls me back out of the room and into the hallway with him.

 

I look at the clock calmly just to make sure we aren't-

 

_FUCK._

 

Bang PD looks at the clock too and I swear he smirks- _that asshole_ \- as I start sprinting down the hallway to the practice room.

 

_Go, go, go-_

 

I push open the doors to the practice room quickly, which causes all of the trainees who are already standing in their spots in the practice room to look over at me. One of the instructors slowly walks over to me.

 

"It's not a good idea to be late on your first day, trainee," he says loudly and lowers his voice and whispers to me, "Especially as the new member of BTS."

 

_I was talking with Bang PD... but..._

 

_Excuses won't get me anywhere._

 

I cringe and reply quickly, "I'm sorry, sir. It won't happen again."

 

"It better not. Hurry up and get into line," he says and I quickly line myself up in one of the rows of dancers. Some people continue to shoot me looks- no doubt because of my mask. I sigh deeply.

 

_I don't see this ending well._

 

...

...

...

 

After practice, I was told that I am supposed to stay after in order to receive extra dance training training. After all, not only do I need to prepare for the "comeback" with new songs and dance moves, but I also need to learn and perfect all of the lyrics, notes, and dance moves of older songs as well. That means twice the amount of work for me. Still- it is hard work that I am more than willing to do.

 

Extra dance training... is hell. BTS' old songs are catchy, and the moves are cool, but I find myself out of breath within the first thirty minutes. As I become more sweaty, it becomes harder to stick the proper dance moves. As my muscles become more tired, it becomes nearly impossible to hold a position steady. I glance at the clock briefly while I'm doing a move that only requires me to walk forward a couple steps and inwardly groan.

 

_Not even halfway over..._

 

...

...

...

 

_Finally, the music stops._

 

I lean over, putting my hands on my knees as I breathe heavily. My shirt sticks to my back and the air around me feels hot.

 

_I... am so out of shape. So much so I'm not even a shape. I'm just a blob._

 

The trainer, tough, yet nice, hands me a plastic water bottle and throws a towel over my shoulders.

 

"You have raw talent, kid, I'll give you that," he tells me and slaps me on the back.

 

"Th...," I start to say and then take another deep breath before quickly saying, "Thank you..."

 

"But, you really have no stamina. You know that you're going to need to dance and sing at the same time."

 

I nod, still leaning over. My mind is scattered, but I try to focus.

 

_Don't I have to go record I NEED U later with the rest of Bangtan...? In the first recording booth... right?_

 

"So... I've decided to add to your daily schedule skill-based workouts with a trainer."

 

My thoughts of later come to a halt.

 

_Workouts? As in.... exercise?_

 

I look up finally, standing up straight and I look at him with wide eyes.

 

"What kind of workouts?" I question.

 

The trainer just grins at me.

 

"Don't worry. You'll start tomorrow. Just trust me- you'll get into shape real quick."

 

He sends me off on my way and I walk sluggishly back to the dorms- which are empty since the rest of the boys are still out doing interviews, and I go into my room and quickly change into clothes that are not soaked with sweat. I brush my hands through my hair- which is slowly becoming dry and fluffy again and I sit on Jungkook's bunk, pulling out my phone.

 

_I have like two hours of free time... Maybe I should do some more research?_

 

I lie back on the bed, looking up at my phone.

 

_Let's see what's on the internet about BTS..._

 

\---


	13. Bang PD, "N.O."!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jungkook stands up from his bed, yawning and he sluggishly goes across the room to turn off the alarm. He turns back towards me and I find myself busting out laughing.
> 
> Jungkook, still half-asleep, gives me an annoyed look of disbelief.
> 
> "What?" he asks and I sit up.
> 
> "Your hair... you look like a porcupine," I tell him, staring at his spiky hair going in at least twenty different directions.
> 
> I continue to smile brightly at him in amusement.
> 
> Damn- if I could reach my phone right now this would be such good blackmail. 
> 
> His face seems to burn as he turns away, fixing his hair. He silently starts getting ready, putting on sweatpants and a t-shirt since the designers are going to dress him for the interview anyways. I raise an eyebrow before slowly- and carefully- climb down from my bunk and start putting on my own clothes. As soon as he's done getting ready, Jungkook rushes out of the room. I stare at the door for a few moments and just quietly shrug to myself.
> 
> Whatever. I'm sure it's fine. 
> 
> He's... a weird guy. 
> 
> I like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!!
> 
> Sorry for not updating as frequently- I've been traveling so much and haven't had access to my laptop! I will try to continue to update somewhat consistently- don't worry. I love writing Kai Chen! You can PM me or comment at any time to check up on my progress on the story or the next chapter whenever you would like! I'm active and will reply back as soon as possible. Thank you for supporting Kai Chen! I hope you continue to enjoy the story.
> 
> Much love,  
> Amanda

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN: Bang PD, "N.O."!**

After I watch [another video- this time it's BTS as vines](https://youtu.be/4ZGfMDsbHFQ)\- I exit out of YouTube and slowly pull out my headphones, blinking. **(A/N: YOU GUYS DON'T NEED TO WATCH ALL OF IT LMAO IT'S JUST SO YOU CAN GET THE IDEA OF WHAT HE WAS WATCHING)**

 

_That’s enough weirdness for now._

 

I look at the time on my phone and stand up slowly, lifting my arms up and leaning back- stretching.

 

 _I’m supposed to meet them all in the recording studio in ten minutes..._ _I might as well go early._

 

I put in my earbuds and then put my mask on again over them. I awkwardly try to push the headphone wires through the fabric so they're not uncomfortably pressed against my cheeks. I’ve been listening to BTS songs all day. I figured that if I listen to them enough I’ll memorize the lyrics and the notes. Seems like a good theory, right? I go out of the dorm, singing quietly under my breath as I walk down the hallway.

 

_Shit,[this song is good-](https://youtu.be/r5GaAEHvHj0)_

 

I start nodding my head to the music, eyes narrowed.

 

_Everybody say NOOOOO-_

 

Just then, someone puts their hand on my shoulder and I jump at least three feet in the air. I quickly turn around, my earbuds still blasting music and[ I see Jin standing there, now leaning back from laughter at my reaction](http://pa1.narvii.com/6472/d5bbeb86f3c6597faac66ec321e0a2721a368bd8_hq.gif). I move my hand to rip my earbuds out so I can talk to him, but my hand meets the fabric of my mask.

 

_Ah- shit-_

 

I give up and just quickly take off my mask- yanking my earbuds out and I hear Jin’s laugh. 

 

_Surprisingly... a lot like a windshield wiper. Those videos online were right._

 

I smile a bit at him- face red and I open my mouth to playfully tell him off.

 

“Kai Chen!” An unknown voice yells and I glance around quickly and [see a very angry Bang PD headed my way](http://pm1.narvii.com/6206/f5a597e83f38dda0ef0258f1d43890dac671c4df_hq.jpg). My eyes go wide and my hands quickly fumble as I hastily pull my mask back on- and do what I do best.

 

_Say NOOOOOOO-_

 

Run away to the recording studio, of course. 

 

"You better run,” Bang PD grumbles.

 

_This song makes me feel rebellious... Is it a bad influence on me..?_

 

I glance behind me to see Jin still giggling as he talks to Bang PD- who smiles fondly at him as he talks. I keep running down the hallway.

 

_What the heck do I have to do for him to look at me like that?_

 

_He only glares at me!_

 

I turn around to face forward again so I don’t trip over myself. I turn the corner, trying to remember the directions to the recording studio.

 

_Green door, green door, green d-_

 

I see the green door and skip up to it, pulling it open and I step in- closing the door behind me. Jungkook, Taehyung, Jimin, and Yoongi are all already in the room- and they look over at me. I pull of my mask quickly, feeling my hair spike up and I breathe heavily- I have no stamina. Yoongi raises an eyebrow and Jungkook stares at me, a little alarmed. Taehyung smiles brightly, laughing.

 

“Hey, Kai!” he says, waving and Jungkook and Jimin also wave.

 

[I sit down on the couch next to Jungkook.](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/40/97/3c/40973c678faf17ca94a5e5d5350d3c24--cha-eunwoo-astro-astro-eunwoo.jpg)

 

“Your hair looks like a porcupine now,” Jungkook states, and I can see him fighting a smile.

 

I feel my face burn- he’s mimicking what I had said this morning- and I quickly fix it, leaning back.

 

_Well played, Jungkook. Well played._

 

“I feel bad for superheroes who have to fight crime in a mask,” I state, shaking my head sadly.

 

“Isn’t it supposed to be easy to breathe in?” Jimin questions, worried for me.

 

I feel my heart clench.

 

_You sweet, sweet boy-_

 

“Oh- no- it is,” I reassure him, smiling and I continue, “I just- it’s so unrealistic to have superhero’s have perfect hair all the time after they wear a mask. Like- real life superhero’s must have really, really bad hair days. I feel bad for them.”

 

I swear I hear Yoongi groan at my rambling and Jimin, Taehyung, and- _oh my god, hell yes_ \- Jungkook start laughing at my antics. The door to the recording room opens and in walk Namjoon, Jin, and Hoseok along with a couple staff members and Bang PD. I shoot Bang PD a dazzling smile and he just stares at me and looks away.

 

_Ugh._

 

Jimin, Taehyung, Jungkook, and I all stand up quickly and we all nod a couple times in bows to the staff members. Afterwards, we all stand in a circle as we go over how this is going to work.

 

“So,” one of the staff members say, “We’re doing the usual- recording the parts with the group entirely first and then individual recordings. You’re going in the number order written on the page.”

 

I tilt my head, eyes confused as the rest of Bangtan nods. We’re all passed around lyrics with notes on them. I stare down at the paper, eyes focused as I read it. There’s a tiny number written in the top corner- eight. I’m recording last. I take a breath.

 

_Good- it’ll give me time to watch how everyone else does it._

 

First, we have to do the shouting, background, and harmonies as a group. Since everyone else is singing, it’s easy for me to follow along and do the right notes.

 

“I hate you!” we all shout into the mic.

 

Taehyung mispronounces the English which causes Namjoon to sign deeply and everyone else to giggle.

 

“What is it again?” Taehyung asks. “I hot you?”

 

Like the number eight,” I explain and repeat with a smile, “I hate you!”

 

“How rude,” Yoongi jokes and everyone just grins and rolls their eyes.

 

“Go again, boys,” Bang PD states.

 

“I hate you! I hate you!” we all shout in unison again, all of us leaning near the mic.

 

“You’re my! You’re my!” we continue.

 

[It takes us a couple tries](https://youtu.be/KVdUl0U18Mc)\- Jimin starts sensually dancing which causes most of us to crack up- but we eventually do a successful recording. At least- the editors and producers will be able to put something together that is perfect.

 

After we finish all of the background and group work- us having to harmonize and sing lots of notes together- [we all sit on the couch and wait as everyone else goes through their solo recordings](http://pm1.narvii.com/5708/3557bb65225046c128eb36955032dd6c2c6c4240_hq.jpg). First is the rap line, and they have to repeat their recordings so many times it’s crazy. Their job must be the hardest- making sure that they don’t mess up any words and trying to breathe as quietly as possible. We all sit squished together on the couch for hours, on our phones and leaning against each other. Somehow, my head has managed to get on Jimin’s lap and Taehyung and Jungkook are sitting on my legs. Hoseok is still recording his verse and Yoongi and Namjoon have finished and left already.

 

I stare dully at my phone screen for a couple moments and yawn deeply, tilting my head back and I hear someone laugh. I force my eyes open while I'm yawning, causing them to water, and I find the guilty party. Jimin is grinning down at me with his phone camera pointed right at me. I blink and then my eyes narrow.

 

"You didn't," I state.

 

Jimin smiles, "I did!"

 

I try to reach for his phone but Jimin moves his arm up and out of my grasp- and I can't move any higher because of Taehyung and Jungkook, who just grumble at me suddenly moving my legs.

 

"Give it, Jimin," I tell him, eyes narrowed.

 

"But Kai! I didn't have any pictures of you in my phone! I just really wanted to have one," he tells me in a cute voice and he bats his eyelashes on purpose.

 

I take a deep breath, staring at him and I just automatically put my hand down and[ look back at my phone.](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/6d/44/4d/6d444d5365d1a9f6765806b5c2e31fee.jpg)

 

_God damn it. Those fan sites weren't kidding when they said BTS has the entire universe whipped. Even I'M whipped._

 

Everyone occasionally hums or sings quietly, warming up their voices as Hoseok gets to the end of his turn. Us singers are up next- it's going from oldest to youngest. 

 

Hoseok finishes, breathing heavily and he wipes his face with his shirt as we walks towards the door.

 

"Work hard, you guys! Good luck. I'm sure you'll all do well," he tells us with a bright smile and we all smile softly at him and nod.

 

Hoseok looks at me, and I guess he seems to notice my nervousness because he adds, "And Kai- don't worry. You'll be fine. We all had to start somewhere. You can do this."

 

I feel my face burn a bit- _I'm really not used to kindness at all_ \- and I nod.

 

"T-thanks," I tell him and he just waves at all of us- unfazed by my awkwardness- and he walks out.

 

Jin records his parts, then Jimin steps up and records all of his parts- and after them Taehyung goes.

 

_Their voices... are so... what's the word for it..._

 

_Beautiful? Perfect?_

 

_No- angelic._

 

I squint, tilting my head.

 

_Are these thoughts normal_

 

I shake my head, snapping out of it and I look over at the other end of the couch, where Jungkook is sitting. We're the only two in here besides Taehyung- who is recording.

 

_This is my chance to bond with him!_

 

I put my phone down and I scoot over so I'm sitting closer to Jungkook. He's wearing headphones and looking down at his phone.

 

"Hey, Jungkook..." I say slowly, trying to get his attention since he's staring intently at some game on his screen.

 

"Oh- hold on-" he says sheepishly, sounding guilty, but he continues to stare at his screen- a competitive glint in his eyes.

 

"Oh, don't worry. I've been there," I say in an understanding tone.

 

_Jae always interrupts me while I am playing videogames and it drives me nuts!_

 

_Oh- that's right. I should call Jae later and see how she's doing..._

 

"So Kai, what was it you wanted to tell me?" Jungkook asks, now looking up at me with his earbuds out.

 

I look up at him, blinking.

 

_I didn't think this through... I honestly didn't think we would get this far._

 

"Ah, I just wanted to ask you if you had any tips for me for recording..." I make up, staring at him.

 

"Hm..." Jungkook says, [his eyes moving up as he thinks quietly to himself](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/38/3c/8f/383c8f0574566e8270f7355ff7ae66d5.jpg). I stare at him, tilting my head.

 

_He really does seem like a nice guy just like this... I really want to understand why he doesn't like me this much._

 

_He's so much more serious and angry when we're both around the other members... But when we're by ourselves-_

 

He looks back down at me and I move my eyes away from him awkwardly- not wanting him to know I was staring.

 

"I would say to make sure that you sing with the proper emotion put into it. You should understand what you want the audience to feel when they hear your voice. Of course, you want to worry about the pitch and everything- but don't sound like a robot... and make sure you take a few moments to get used to the mic and how it makes your voice sound. Make sure it's what you want," Jungkook says.

 

I smile brightly and tell him, "Thanks a lot. I'll make sure to do that! Hey- were you nervous the first time you recorded?"

 

Jungkook rolls his eyes at my question like it's obvious- but with a soft smile that tells me he meant it more in a fond way and he explains, "Of course I was. Everyone is nervous when they first record. Your voice might be shaky at first... just take a breath before you start. I'm sure the producers will be understanding as well."

 

I give him a thumbs up, grinning.

 

"Are you ready to start school next week?" Jungkook asks and I automatically stop grinning and lower my head.

 

"No... I hate school," I admit with a sigh.

 

"If it helps, you're getting your senior year classes over with early so you'll graduate a year early with me. Why do you hate school so much?"

 

_I can't tell him it's because I got beat up almost everyday..._

 

_I still don't know how it will be this year. I mean- I've grown a lot since five years ago... Maybe they'll leave me alone this time. Maybe there's no longer bullies in high schools in Korea..._

 

"Ah... no reason," I say nonchalantly and Jungkook looks at me confused for a moment, but shrugs. 

 

He opens his mouth to talk again, but the producers call him over as Taehyung walks towards us.

 

Jungkook stands up and pats Taehyung on the arm before walking over to record. Taehyung then looks at me and smiles softly.

 

"You'll do great, Kai!" Taehyung says in his soft voice and he yawns, hair sweaty, "I'm going to go take a nap. I hope you record well and get to rest soon! Good luck."

 

"Thanks Tae," I tell him with a soft smile, my face red again and tell him honestly, "Your voice was amazing!"

 

_Why does my face always turn red when I get complimented... It's going to give people the wrong idea..._

 

"How cute!" Tae says with his trademark boxy smile and he pinches my cheek where I'm blushing. He continues, "Your voice is amazing too. Don't be too nervous."

 

He lets go of my cheek and he walks out sluggishly, tired. I rub my cheek, grumbling as I plop down on the couch again. I look over at Jungkook and watch him record.

 

_They all have amazing voices..._

 

_Will I be able to keep up with them?_

 

I get lost in my thoughts and play on my phone until it is my turn. After Jungkook is done recording, he walks by me on the couch. He smiles and nods- but doesn't say much else. [Still, the gesture has me grinning.](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/6e/65/ee/6e65ee529b4577ef64742bdbbab14d9d.jpg)

 

"Kai Chen," Bang PD says- which causes me to stand up from the couch and slowly walk over to the mic. Producers sit around me with the gear and controls. I grip the paper of lyrics tight in my hand, causing it to crinkle slightly and crumble.

 

"Are you ready?" one of the producers ask me, putting headphones on me and the background music to I NEED U starts playing through them. I step forward slightly to be closer to the mic- I try to remember breathing techniques that I have for singing- I stare at the lyrics.

 

The one producer continues to talk to me- their voice slightly muffled now- and they count me down, "Okay, now ready? One, two, three-"

 

I take a deep breath and I start singing.

 

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another author's note, because I love talking to you guys-
> 
> For the next couple chapters it will probably be Kai getting into his schedrule of being a trainee, school starting, and the recording for the MV of I NEED U.
> 
> After I NEED U is realized, Kai and the rest of Bangtan will start promoting the 8th member and teasing his arrival. He will also be involved in more photoshoots and interviews.
> 
> I won't go too far ahead, but for now that is the plan!
> 
> There also might be some family issues that arrive... who knows.
> 
> I'll see you all in the next chapter! Stay well and leave me any sugguestions if you have any! 
> 
> Bye bye :)


	14. A Good Spy is Never Compromised

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Kai Chen," Bang PD says- which causes me to stand up from the couch and slowly walk over to the mic. Producers sit around me with the gear and controls. I grip the paper of lyrics tight in my hand, causing it to crinkle slightly and crumble.
> 
> "Are you ready?" one of the producers ask me, putting headphones on me and the background music to I NEED U starts playing through them. I step forward slightly to be closer to the mic- I try to remember breathing techniques that I have for singing- I stare at the lyrics.
> 
> The one producer continues to talk to me- their voice slightly muffled now- and they count me down, "Okay, now ready? One, two, three-"
> 
> I take a deep breath and I start singing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all!!! THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT SO PLEASE READ:
> 
> I know the updates have been very inconsistent lately- I've been suuuper busy from summer homework- but don't worry! In order to make sure I continue writing Kai Chen enough so you guys can enjoy it- I have decided to have a set update date so everyone knows when a new chapter for Kai Chen will be up!
> 
> AS OF NOW- I will be posting a new chapter EVERY SUNDAY! (it might be a different day depending on your time zone- I'm in PDT) 
> 
> So... for now please enjoy! Thank you for all of the nice comments. I am glad everyone is enjoying the story.
> 
> <3 Amanda

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN: A Good Spy is Never Compromised:**

As soon as I start singing, there's a subtle change in the room. The producers and executives all shift in their seats and perk up a bit as they listen. I feel warmth course through my veins and the vibrations from my singing fill my chest. My point in the song- as the producers had earlier briefly mentioned to me- was to fill in the gaps between Jimin and Jin's more higher voices and Taehyung's deeper voice. I also would more strongly take over the English verses, while having the other members harmonize in the background. I sang through the entire song without them stopping me, even though I saw some of the producers turning knobs on the sound booth in front of them as they moved their hands to push their own headphones closer to their ears while some executives scribbled notes. When I sing the last note, I let out a breath as I slowly take off the earphones and drape them over my neck. I look expectantly at Bang PD and the staff sitting around him.

 

Bang PD seems impassive, but he has a small smile on his face as he nods. I glance at the other people, waiting for them to say something.

 

"You have a very solid voice," one person says- who has been standing up and leaning against the wall behind where the employees have been sitting since I began singing.

 

I look over in surprise and raise my eyebrows- and Bang PD clears his throat to get me to look back at him.

 

"Since this was your first day, I wanted you to take it easy and only start with dance practice. While your vocals are solid, you still need to learn the difference between singing on stage and singing to yourself. This is the vocal teacher- Dae Young. He will help you learn certain singing techniques," Bang PD explains and I look back over at the guy- Dae Young- and I bow politely.

 

"Until school starts in a week or so, you will wake up at 6:00 AM and do private vocal lessons with me, and then you will head straight over at 8:30 AM and join the group dance instruction. After that is over at 11, you will stay there for two hours and have a one-on-one in order to help you nail all of the choreography for BTS' past albums and get caught up. After that- I heard that you need conditioning. You will meet with the personal trainer at 3PM, and he will take you through exercises until 5. After 5, you will usually work with BTS in filming your parts for MVs, possibly participating in photoshoots, and recording more songs. Sometimes, you will have to move around your schedule in accordance with obligations or special events you have each week. Right now, it is imperative to stuff in the many years of experience you would usually get as a trainee into the small amount of time we have until you debut. You don't want to make a fool of yourself or BTS before you even start."

 

[I blink a couple times](https://i.pinimg.com/236x/5e/21/00/5e21002c417e3aeee671273a3ff7edc5.jpg), already feeling a headache coming on from how much work I will have to do.

 

_Still... it's definitely worth it. And I honestly don't mind working hard that much..._

 

_It's distracting. It's good._

 

"Uh... yes, sir," I slowly say, still a little overwhelmed and he nods, leaning back against the wall again.

 

"Now... back to the recording," one of the producers says, looking at the panel in front of her and the executives look at their notes.

 

I look towards them and they all seem to be formulating thoughts.

 

"I know this is hard if you haven't learned... but try to control your breathing. Don't just gasp in a quick breath of air and continue singing. Slowly take a deep breath and let it slowly come out while you're singing. That way your breathing won't be picked up as easily on the recording mic and we can edit it easier," one of the producers wearing headphones states.

 

I nod, sliding my headphones back over my ears. I clear my throat and take a breath.

 

_Here we go again._

 

...

...

...

 

** Three hours later: **

I finished recording and decided to go straight back to the dorms. All of BTS was already in their rooms and probably asleep after their long day of photoshoots and interviews- so I figured I might as well just go straight to sleep as well. I had to slowly sneak into Jungkook and I's room since the lights were off and Jungkook was already asleep- and I went to bed.

 

...

...

...

 

**Three days later:**

_I know what you're thinking._

 

_Kai- a whole three days later?! What the hell?! We want to know about your first couple days as a trainee!_

 

_Don't worry, it wasn't that interesting... but, if you really insist on knowing... I'll summarize everything for you._

 

After recording my voice for the first time-  I NEED U has been stuck in my head ever since due to me having to sing it over so many times. Actually... all of BTS' songs are stuck in my head because I'm learning all of them. I always hum them when we're all sitting around together and literally all of the boys tease me for it.

 

_Seriously though, what's the big deal? Like- I'm sure they have their own songs stuck in their head all the time!_

 

Anyways, after I finished recording that night, I went to sleep and woke up the next morning and started that long ass schedule that the vocal instructor said earlier.

 

I first went to vocal training- the guy is very serious, but he seriously knows what he's doing- and then I went to group dance practice. I've... been receiving attention a lot from instructors around Big Hit. Since all of the employees have been notified of who exactly I am and what I'm doing here- they are always closely watching me and giving me a lot of attention. Usually, designers come up to me and talk to me about what clothes I should wear or how I should do my hair. The vocal instructor apparently never has private lessons- but he is for me. The dance instructor always focuses on what moves I make and sometimes spends more than twenty minutes critiquing and talking to me during the GROUP dance class. It would've been better if he had waited to do that during our private lessons... since it's definitely catching the attention of the other trainees at Big Hit... and definitely NOT in a good way.

 

Then, I'd get murdered for two hours with a personal trainer, who made me run laps around the Big Hit building while having me sing BTS songs. He'd also make me lift weights to... as he put it... "beef me up".

 

After all of the training, I thankfully did not have to record any songs or MVs with BTS for these past three days- I got to have a break and I sat around with the boys in the dorms. We sometimes watched movies- mainly American ones with Korean subtitles and K-dramas. For the American movies, Taehyung and Hoseok especially would often grab the remote and pause it- asking me some question about the culture or what a certain reference means.  For the k-dramas, most of us... well. We sweated out of our eyes, what can I say?

 

_It's not our fault that they made us think[Yoo Si Jin was dead! ](https://setangkaidotcom.files.wordpress.com/2016/04/foto-keren-dan-gagah-kapten-yoo-si-jin7.jpg?w=723)We had all been acting like soldiers for the past three days because we liked him so much! And they had made him so cool!_

 

_Anyways, we aren't supposed to talk about that again._

 

All of Bangtan also did a v-live. Which was... stressful, to say the least. I swear- they're the worst at keeping secrets!

 

I remember sitting behind the phone- [watching them all sit at our dining room table and talk to the camera.](https://0.soompi.io/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/22095320/bts-v-3-million-2.png)

 

Jimin starts humming the tune to I NEED U, which causes the six other boys on camera and me- sitting across the room- to quickly whip our heads towards him and stare him down with an alarmed gaze. 

 

He quickly stops- laughing awkwardly along with the other six boys- and he whines, "I've been humming annoying songs all day and the rest of Bangtan has been getting mad at me!"

 

Yoongi pinches Jimin's cheek while smiling- which to the audience was him finding Jimin's whining adorable- but to us there was a [fiery look in his eyes that told Jimin to be quiet.](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/d3/dc/6a/d3dc6a958bafd2eee469e5f1962ee790.jpg)

 

Not even five minutes later, Taehyung looks up from drawing a picture and looks around for a couple seconds before locking eyes with me on the couch and his eyes brighten as he says, "Ka-"

 

"What was that, Taehyung?" Namjoon quickly says and [Taehyung's face is one of alarm.](https://pm1.narvii.com/6280/525e461b2ff0bf056981c2f0ac217ee71d7a60fd_hq.jpg)

 

"Uh... hyung, k.... can you go get me a red pen?" he says in a small voice, his face red from the adrenaline rush he just got at almost exposing me, and Namjoon gives him a strained smile and stands up- pretending to go get the red pen as he walks off camera.

 

_Needless to say, all eight of us- to my objection since I was literally sitting out of shot and didn't say a word- got an earful from Mr. Bang and the managers on how we have to be more careful during vlives._

 

Besides for those random fun moments- usually all I did for these past three days was the training and routine I just described to you. 

 

_So, as I said- really boring stuff._

 

Now, here we are today. I've begun another day of my vigorous training routine. I'm in the group dance practice. At first, my muscles were super sore and refused to move smoothly since I had been doing so much more work than I was used to. My joints and muscles were all locked up and I remember two days ago Jin and Hoseok brought bags of ice up to my room the one time I had starting crying after trying to sit up from the couch to go to bed because my (fl)abs had hurt so bad. They forced me to take an ice bath- which let me tell you, is hell, but surprisingly works. Today, while I was still sore in some places, I felt much better and more mobile. 

 

_Maybe I'm finally getting used to this..._

 

I follow the dance instructor, smoothly rolling my hips and taking two steps before jumping and landing with my knees bent. The trainees around me also do the same moves in time with me. We dance through the whole song- and the music stops. The instructor walks, critiquing people for a few moments and he stops in front of me.

 

_Oh no. Not again._

 

_...Don't get me wrong. Getting extra training and attention from employees like I had mentioned earlier was by no means a bad thing. After all- I really liked the help. But... it really, really pissed off the other trainees. Especially since I am a newbie, getting special treatment, continuously wasting the time that they could be getting training, and seem like a big, giant, pretentious prick since I'm wearing a mask and not allowed to talk to anyone._

 

_I know. Literally- no one. Mr. Bang was worried about someone trying to use my voice to find my identity- is that even possible? That's some... super spy stuff right there. Which would be insanely cool- but not good._

 

_The bigger reason he didn't want me talking to anyone else was well... as Bang PD put it, "An awkward and massive idiot who does not know when to keep their mouth shut."_

 

_To summarize, it was probably better off that I ignored everyone rather than potential have people grow close to me and figure out who I am or have myself slip up and say something I am not supposed to._

_This... while being necessary, has been rough...._

 

_After three days, the at least decent people who had tried to talk to me had given up after I had awkwardly scurried away from them a couple times and in the end- everyone was either impartial or widely irritated towards me._

 

 "Great job, boy," the dance instructor says and he walks closer to me in order to point out a few things in my form and how I could fix them and I swear I can hear the quiet irritated groans and sighs behind me.

 

"So, I watched you the whole time. When you move your hips- you use your entire body too much. Try to only rotate using your core, your actually hips, your glutes, and your legs," he explains.

 

I nod quickly, wanting him to move on with it so I don't annoy the other trainees.

 

"Yes, sir. Thank you," I say very quietly, respectfully.

 

To my horror, he continues to talk to me carefully about every move I did and what small adjustments I need to make. He talks for ten more minutes before moving on to the other trainees- talking to all of them individually for one minute at the most.

 

It is at times like these I feel like there is like one hundred holes being burnt into the back of my head from how many people are shooting me glares. Some people- when my eyes catch their gaze through my mask, don't even look away or stop glance away. They just... continue to stare.

 

_This is worse than it was at Fantaigo..._

 

At the end of practice, everyone walks out except for me- the air in the room tense. Many people continue to look at me before walking out. The dance teacher, as oblivious as ever, carries on with our lesson.

 

The private lesson goes by quickly- two hours feels like half an hour- and before I know it I'm sitting on one of the benches on the edge of the practice room and waving to the instructor as he walks out.

 

"Good job today! You've improved so quickly over these past four days... You're a natural, seriously," he tells me, and he seems to decide he sounds too nice because he adds on with a warning tone, "But don't think that means I'm gonna go easy on you just because you're doing well, though!"

 

I grin knowingly and lazily salute him, saying, "Of course not, sir. Have a good one."

 

He walks out, shaking his head and I let out a deep sigh as the door shuts and silence fills the room.

 

I breathe heavily, leaning my head back against the wall and I move my hand to wipe the sweat off of my face- but stop myself when I realize I still have my mask on. I grumble- so lazy- but I know I'm going to breakout if I stay like this, so I force myself to stand up and head back to the dorms early before conditioning. I grab my water bottle and drape my towel over my neck as I push the door open to the practice room and I walk out into the empty hallway.

 

I drag my feet on the floor, the muscles on my legs currently feeling like jelly. I hum Spine Breaker- which is the current BTS song that is stuck in my head. I take a step forward, and then feel myself be pulled to a halt.

 

I frown, eyes confused for a second before I realize that someone has grabbed the[ hood of my warmup top](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/32/94/e1/3294e130959c5f23607195bedeaa511e--astro-kpop-eunwoo-astro.jpg) and I quickly feel myself grinning and turn around- knowing it's going to be one of the members messing with me.

 

"Hey! What did I say about scaring me in the hallwa-" I playfully start to lecture, but my voice trails off as I find myself staring into the eyes of a guy I have never seen before in my life.

 

Let me correct that- guys.

 

_They don't look... particularly nice. And by that I mean they're glaring at me._

 

 _What the hell did I do?!_  

 

…

 

_Ahhhh. I get it._

 

_They're wearing warmup clothes like I am- they must be fellow trainees._

 

_So... What do they need me for? What do they want?_

 

"Oh," I quickly say nervously- unsure if I'm supposed to talk to them.

 

"Oh?" the boy holding onto my sweatshirt repeats mockingly and I find myself laughing.  It's my automatic nervous reaction, but unfortunately- looking at myself laughing now- it makes me look like a huge dick.

 

All of the guys automatically sneer, eyes turning angrier and I find myself being quickly pulled again by the sweatshirt into one of the rooms. Well- room would be an understatement. This is a cramped and dark storage closet.

 

_Shit shit shit._

 

_I've been beaten the shit out of... more times than I am willing to admit._

 

_The good news of this? I know when I'm going to get beaten up._

 

_The bad news of this? I know I'm going to get beat up RIGHT NOW._

 

At times like these- I grow much more serious. I feel like my senses are heightened and instead of feeling awkward- I'm suddenly on edge and pissed all at the same time.

 

I find myself do what has gotten me out of confrontations many times- open my mouth and start to yell.

 

"HEY! GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!" I snap quickly, and the guy gripping my sweatshirt quickly clamps his hand over my mouth.

 

One of the boys whispers, "Shit!"

 

"Don't worry. There's no one who comes down this hallway at this time," the third boy says and the second boy just grumbles, eyes pissed and he quickly socks me right in the stomach.

 

_Ah-_

 

I feel all of the air I had in my lungs get knocked out and I find myself coughing and gasping heavily behind my mask and the guy's hand that is still over my mouth.

 

_He knocked my wind out- god damn it. I can't say shit now._

 

"I can't have him yelling. I don't want us to get caught," the guy who punched me says nervously, adding on, "My parents would kill me if they heard about this."

 

I glance around at all of the boys rapidly, my eyes shining with fear and adrenaline. Blood is rushing through my head and making everything loud. I feel like my mind is moving quickly through thousands of thoughts and all my body can do is stay their stupidly frozen.

 

I get a good look at all of their faces, at least- before I feel a hard shove force me to fall down on my knees roughly. I cough again- my hands quickly shooting out in front of me to catch my fall. The guy grabbing my hoodie releases his grip on their and instead grabs onto my mask instead. I feel my heart leap.

 

_No!_

 

"Wait, hold on," the third boy states, causing the other two boys to snap their heads over towards him.

 

"I need to record this shit, don't I? So we can reveal his identity?" he asks again, and the second boy just shakes out his hand that punched me while the first boy nods in affirmation.

 

The third boy pulls out his phone and starts recording- the flash on it is focused on my face and I automatically squint, still breathing heavily.

 

"So..." the boy who is holding my mask says. "You think that you're so special? That you don't have to talk to us? Who the hell are you- to not even show your face and only be here for a few weeks yet get more attention than all of us have? I've been here for two damn years and I still haven't debuted! We've all been here- for years. Well, guess you don't feel so high and mighty now, huh?"

 

I open my mouth to reply- but I can only gasp. The boys snicker at me.

 

"Now, they'll know who you really are," the boy holding me states and he starts to pull at the mask.

 

_Shit.... Shit!_

 

_I can't let this happen. I-_

 

My body quickly lunges out of the way and my shaky limbs have me scramble up as I try to make it for the door. I feel air behind me as someone's fist comes swinging for me- and before I know it I feel a smack in the back of my head and I find myself stumbling to only get pulled back into a kneeling position by the first boy.

 

I feel dazed- my mouth feeling dry from getting hit so hard- and I groan.

 

_Damn it... They can't... They can't figure out who I am._

 

But then again, here we are.

 

The boy holding the phone grins and brings the flash closer to my eyes. I squeeze them shut.

 

"Let's reveal this arrogant prick once and for all," he says, holding the phone and I take a deep breath.

 

The first boy grips the fabric of my mask and pulls up-

 

[The flash pours over my entire face.](https://koreaboo-cdn.storage.googleapis.com/2017/06/cha-eun-woo-46.jpg)

 

_My secret spy identity... has been compromised._

 

_\---_


	15. They Actually Care About Me!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I feel dazed- my mouth feeling dry from getting hit so hard- and I groan.
> 
> Damn it... They can't... They can't figure out who I am. 
> 
> But then again, here we are.
> 
> The boy holding the phone grins and brings the flash closer to my eyes. I squeeze them shut.
> 
> "Let's reveal this arrogant prick once and for all," he says, holding the phone and I take a deep breath.
> 
> The first boy grips the fabric of my mask and pulls up-
> 
> The flash pours over my entire face. 
> 
> My secret spy identity... has been compromised.

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN: They Actually Care About Me!:**

 

**Two hours after I got my super secret identity revealed and my ass totally kicked...**

 

**Third Person's POV:**

The seven boys of BTS wearily piled themselves into the [small white van](http://www.moibbk.com/images/dodge-ram-van-white-2.jpg) parked outside on the curb. Casting a shadow over the van was a tall office building- where the seven boys had just spent five hours inside for a photoshoot and interview with a somewhat popular online news company.

 

This time, the interview and [photoshoot](https://1.soompi.io/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/BTS-3.jpg) with the company was for a small insider article about what people should expect of Bangtan Sonyeondan next. However, since it was only early March and they were planning on announcing their comeback in April, they weren't allowed to say much. This was simply just a PR stunt to allow them to keep relevance and to get their name running through people's heads again before they release I NEED U along with their other singles and EP. So, they basically dropped some hints on "new music coming soon", but they said nothing very specific. They just said that the next album was "bringing some new changes to BTS that no one will be expecting" and they answered some basic questions about themselves that every interviewer usually asked them: What's your ideal girl? Who's your celebrity crush? What's your favorite color?- stuff like that.

 

Now, they were all overwhelmed and drained from having to smile and talk and play their energized parts for so long that they all were silent as the van slowly drove down the rode back to the Big Hit building. Most of them were on their phones or had their eyes closed so they could maybe catch a short nap. They all still had on their minds the weight of their upcoming comeback.

 

Today was currently March 9th. They planned on releasing a statement about there being a comeback on April 29th- on April 6th. After that, they would slowly start releasing teaser videos and concept photos that tease their new songs and their new... well... member. It will be very cryptic, but obvious enough that they will be able to properly gauge what the reaction will be when Kai really does officially debut. That way they may hopefully be able to properly adapt to make Kai's entrance into BTS as easy as possible.

 

None of them have said it outright, but even though it had only been four days- the young boy had begun to grow on them. They had spent most of the nights up late goofing off with each other and enjoying answering all of Kai's questions. His awkwardness and humor seemed to have brought more energy- a second wind- to the BTS dorms that had been very much lacking lately due to their hard work with half-successful results and even more accusations and scandals. While they were somewhat successful, they knew they still weren't getting the recognition they deserved and money had been especially tight lately since they were saving up for production costs for their I NEED U MV, which was going to be the most expensive one yet. With Kai, they felt the same kind of hope like they had in the beginning when they were bright-eyed trainees.

 

They still had the same passion inside of them, but their burning passion was starting to burn their bodies and souls. It was because they had so much passion for singing and dancing and performing that was inside of them- but it wasn't being used properly... They were hoping that with I NEED U, this would all change... After all, now they were talking about more serious topics that they cared about. And more things that their audiences could relate to. Not that they weren't proud and inspired from what they had made before- of course they were- but this... this was different. As the new EP is called- it seemed like it was going to be The Most Beautiful Moment in Life.

 

Jimin, Taehyung, and Jin all lean over in their seats to look at Jungkook's phone, where he shows a snapchat he recorded of [Kai eating chips out of his backpack in the corner of their room at 3 AM last night](https://i.pinimg.com/236x/ba/b2/43/bab2435c6ff2f8344b5af2a902c546b6.jpg) and all of the boys bust out laughing.

 

"Why the heck was he crouched in the corner like that?! He looks like some kind of hungry creature!" Jin exclaims while his eyes water from how hard he has been laughing

 

"I guess he said he thought he couldn't eat in our room and he was dying to eat those chips that night or something? So he stayed up!" Jungkook says, and he finds [himself grinning like an idiot](https://68.media.tumblr.com/670cb2353abba3a431f2128d2adedf97/tumblr_inline_oahu9x9hlp1siawps_500.gif) as he stares at the video of Kai.

 

"It seems to me like you like him, Jungkook," Jin says slowly with a smile and he puffs out his chest as he says confidently, "I guess you're now happy that I encouraged Bang PD to have Kai share a room with you even though Namjoon and you were both against it."

 

Namjoon looks over and makes a face-  _How dare Jin! He just wanted to make sure there were no rifts in the team!-_   but still, he didn't say anything because... ultimately, Jin was right. Jungkook did seem to like Kai now. Maybe forcing them to interact by putting them in the same room was a good idea, after all. All of them know how shy Jungkook is. He wouldn't have interacted with Kai unless he was forced to. Especially because Jungkook didn't seem to particularly like Kai... and they weren't exactly sure why. They had a few ideas, though...

 

Jungkook scoffs and quickly looks away from the screen, rolling his eyes. He puts his phone away and all of the boys lean back into their seats now that they no longer have a video to look at.

 

"I just am happy I have this as blackmail," Jungkook hastily says, forcing himself not to smile now and the six other guys share knowing gazes with each other as they themselves try not to smile.

 

_They all knew their golden maknae so well... he definitely seemed to like Kai now. But why was he still continuing this act of not liking him..?_

 

The white van jolted to a stop in front of the Big Hit building. Hoseok looks over at Yoongi, who has his back to everyone and is breathing deeply- definitely asleep- and he gently shakes his shoulder. Yoongi slowly stretches, grumbling and everyone slowly climbs out of the van and stretches out their sore muscles. The driver, as soon as they see there are no crowds of fans in front of the building- since it's somewhat late into the afternoon- the van drives off to park itself in Big Hit's parking garage while Jin leans backwards, trying to crack his back as he groans and Taehyung and Jimin just slowly lean against each other and stumble down the sidewalk in attempts to get to the dorms next door to Big Hit. The rest of the boys slowly follow them. They walk into the dorms, expecting to see Kai sitting on the couch waiting for them all like he usually did.

 

[Oddly enough, the living room is empty.](http://www.carolinacouture.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/cool-sectional-couches-design-with-wooden-table-and-rugs-for-living-room-design-best-sectional-couches-for-your-modern-living-room-design-ideas-black-sectional-couch-wrap-around-couch-couch.jpg)

 

They all are exhausted and don't say much about it yet, figuring that Kai is probably just in his room or something and they all quickly sit in the couches, eager to get off of their feet. Yoongi is already leaned back into the cushions, eyes closed again and Jin is already pulling out snacks and him and Namjoon are forcing everyone to eat something, even if they feel like going to sleep. Jin nudges Yoongi and Taehyung, who is already hugging a pillow and dozing off.

 

"Hey! Eat something before you sleep. You need energy, hm?" Jin says, voice patient but serious and he shoves energy bars into both of their hands and then he takes one for himself and leans back, sighing deeply.

 

Jimin and Hoseok lazily chew their own energy bars as they sit next to each other and watch a YouTube video- of god knows what- and Namjoon is eating quietly as he stares off into space. Jungkook takes a bar, but he stands up and walks to his room.

 

Jungkook walks back in exactly thirty minutes later, glancing around the living room and he takes a deep breath before slowly stating, "Hey so... Kai isn't the bedroom..."

 

Six heads whip towards him- Yoongi and Taehyung fully awake immediately- having only dozed off, and they all stare at him for a few moments, processing what Jungkook has just said.

 

"What time is it?" Taehyung questions, his voice slow and thick from sleep.

 

"It's 8:34 PM," Hoseok says slowly, staring at his phone and everyone now looks at each other- worry more evident on their faces.

 

_It's late! Kai is just a seventeen year old kid... and they're all supposed to look after him. God knows what he's up to-_

 

"Maybe he could just be training," Namjoon offers, trying to be a voice of reason and they all nod profusely, wanting to agree with what their leader says.

 

_Of course. That must be it- after all, he has a lot to work on and Big Hit as been training him a lot._

 

_And yet... they all don't want to accept it that easily._

 

"But maybe he's not," Yoongi states, voicing all of their fears.

 

They all stare at each other for a few more seconds before Jin stands up, causing all of them to quickly follow and gather up their stuff- throwing on their jackets and shoes and within two minutes they're all out the door and fast-walking down the sidewalk to Big Hit. They keep their hoods up- just so they do not get seen by anyone or any camera and they quickly make their way into the building. They squint slightly at the bright lights and when they see the singing instructor walk by, they all quickly scurry over to him and crowd around him.

 

Taehyung grabs the singing instructor's arm impulsively, eyes wide and nervous and he asks him politely, "Sir, have you seen Kai Chen? Do you know if he's practicing?"

 

The singing instructor seems alarmed at Tae's intrusion of space, but he decides to leave it because of the [younger man's worried gaze](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/25/0b/38/250b381d0f992eac2d29f222168eaaf1.jpg).

 

"I haven't seen him personally since our lessons hours ago, no, but I just finished talking to Kai Chen's trainer- the one that runs his conditioning- and he was livid. I guess Kai never showed up for the lessons... and left him waiting. The trainer told me he's going to kill him with exercises next time..." The instructor said and he sighed, grinning as he added on, "That kid is a lot of work."

 

They all hesitantly smile and laugh along with the instructor, but they're all tense with the same thought.

 

_Kai never made it to his workouts and he never made it back to the dorms._

 

_Does that mean that he's been MIA for almost three hours now?_

 

_Where is he?_

 

They politely, but quickly end their conversation with the singing instructor and they quickly make their way to the dance practice room- where Kai apparently last was. The lights in the hallway leading to the practice room flicker on as the boys walk down it. They're lights attached to motion sensors- which means that no one must have been down here this whole time. Then again, trainees usually stopped practicing early into the afternoon and they were the only people who were usually down here since this hallway was all studios and practice rooms. When they get to the dance one, they open it up quickly and glance around a couple times.

 

"Where the hell is he...?" Yoongi asks, more aggressive now since he's anxious. 

 

_Yoongi swears if he finds this little shit and he's just goofing off he's going to kick his ass!_

 

Jungkook bites his lip, quickly glancing around the room for any sign of him- but not even his water bottle is there.

 

"Maybe he decided to pack his things and go," Jungkook blurts out despite him being nervous for Kai- a tiny part of him hoped it was true.

 

The rest of the members yet again quickly look at him.

 

"Hey, don't say things like that," Jin lectures, seeming angry with Jungkook's carelessness and Jungkook bows his head in shame.

 

"Sorry, hyung…" he apologizes, feeling bad. He really did like Kai... even if he was annoying, the younger boy had started to grow on him.

 

_But that was the point. He was younger. A younger member that was... even now, taking the attention of his hyungs…_

 

_Jungkook already knew that they all liked Kai Chen more than him- and it had only been a couple days._

 

_Still, even if Kai was making him jealous, Jin was right. Now was not the time nor place._

 

"Where else could he be?" Jimin questions in a nervous tone, seeming at a loss.

 

"What could have happened to him..." Hoseok mumbles quietly.

 

That's when- they all hear  _it._

 

It was a noise that was music to their ears- that sounding like a call from heaven.

 

Kai's voice. Yelling.

 

"-et me the fuck out of here!" his muffled voice yells- it seems like it's coming from out in the hallway they just came from- and they all quickly look at each other before running out.

 

"Hey! Is anyone there!" Kai's voice continues, cracking at the end. It's louder now- they must be closer.

 

"Kai!" Jin quickly says, "We're right here!"

 

There's a long pause, before they suddenly hear rapid banging and Kai's voice moves at lightning speed, "Hyung- youneedtogetmethefuckoutofherebecausemysuperspyidentitywasrevealedandweneedtostopthe-"

 

"Kai, calm down! We can't understand what you're saying," Namjoon says in an exasperated tone.

 

Yoongi is standing in front of a door- the door to the storage closet- where he's deduced Kai's voice to be coming from. He tries opening it and pauses as it doesn't budge. He frowns, looking down at the door and his jaw slightly drops at he realizes it was locked from the outside and his jaw slightly drops open as he realized what happened.

 

"Kai, someone locked you in there?" Yoongi questions, his voice angry and Hoseok quickly moves forward.

 

"Hey, hurry and let him out, hyung," he quickly, but politely says, and he unlocks the door and pulls it open.

 

They all gasp as [Kai stumbles out](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/cc/2b/57/cc2b5733ba0a087d40cd77eadf5935a5--cha-eunwoo-astro-kpop.jpg)\- he must've been leaning against the door.

 

"Holy..." Jimin says, his voice anxious.

 

Taehyung quickly goes to Kai, grabbing his hands and his eyes are wide.

 

"What happened?" he quickly questions.

 

Everyone is stunned. Jungkook blinks, staring at Kai and he tries to analyze for himself just exactly what happened.

 

Kai's head is kinda bloody in the top right corner near his hairline and there are bruises scattered across his arms. His hair is tangled and spiking up in different places.

 

Yoongi stares at Kai, [eyes flaming](https://s14.favim.com/orig/160323/bts-gif-jin-suga-Favim.com-4110104.gif) and he quickly asks, "Who did it?"

 

Hoseok quickly puts a hand on Yoongi's arm, which is tensed and ready to punch whoever Kai tells him to.

 

"Relax, Yoongi," he quietly says, trying to soothe him, "More fighting won't help the situation."

 

Kai continues to gasp- half of it fueled from him getting kicked hard in the stomach and half of it from his anxiety. Jin quickly, but gently takes Kai from Taehyung and he pulls Kai's arm so he moves over to the wall of the hallway and he leans against it.

 

"Hey. Relax, Kai," Jin says softly, but seriously- and Kai just continues to breathe hard and he shakes his head.

 

"No- damn it, you don't understand-" Kai starts, trying to catch his breath and he grips onto Jin's shirt and he pulls him closer to his face.

 

Jin blinks rapidly, trying to back up.

 

"They took off my mask- they recorded it-" Kai starts- and everyone freezes.

 

"They what?!" Namjoon exclaims- now anxious.

 

_If Kai's identity- no- if Kai's mere EXISTENCE got out, BTS would be screwed! Big Hit would be screwed!_

 

Namjoon looks up and down the hallways quickly and then back at Kai, with wide eyes. 

 

"Who are they? Where did they go?" Namjoon questions.

 

Kai lets go of Jin now that he got his urgent message across and he sighs deeply. Jimin quickly comes closer and puts an arm around Kai, hugging him close but not fully hugging him so he can still talk.

 

"They're three trainees from Big Hit... I don't know their names- only their faces..." Kai says slowly, trying to focus. He rubs his head, squinting.

 

Jungkook frowns, worried and he looks at where Kai's head is bleeding. 

 

_Do you think he has a concussion?! Jungkook hoped not... Even if Kai pissed him off sometimes, he didn't deserve this._

 

"We should get Kai to a doctor..." Jin says, walking over to Jimin and Kai and putting an arm around Kai on the other side.

 

"No," Kai says seriously, digging his feet into the ground so Jimin and Jin can't pull him down the hallway.

 

"What is it, Kai?" Jimin asks nervously, his arm still around Kai's shoulders.

 

"We can't waste time right now at the doctors... We need to get that video back," Kai says- and while all of the members were extremely worried about Kai, they seemed to be slightly thinking the same thing.

 

"...It's true," Hoseok admits, "We need to get the video back before it gets out... or else Kai may never be able to debut."

 

Kai's eyes seem to be sparkling despite the fact that he is so disheveled. His face is determined.

 

"Exactly," he states.

 

"So... how will we get the video back?" Taehyung asks slowly, eyes serious and he bites his nails as he thinks.

 

Yoongi turns towards them, eyes serious and he says lowly, "I have an idea."

 

...

...

...

 

**Kai's POV:**

**Exactly one hour later**

 

_To say I am sore, is an understatement._

 

Right now, I sit in a folding chair that has been placed in the front of the dance practice room. The rest of Bangtan stands around me, arms crossed and they face the rest of the room which is filled with all of the trainees from dance practice. The trainees stand at attention, in neat rows. I slowly glance at the clock as I continue to lean back into my chair, one of my hands holding a bag of ice to my head that was hastily provided by one of Big Hit's secretaries.

 

_It's 10 PM... so late, yet Big Hit got every single trainee here... and managers are here... and Bang PD is here..._

 

_All for me..._

 

_I feel a tad bit touched._

 

 

The seven older boys keep hovering over me- I think between all of them they have asked me if I am okay over fifty times. Not that I'm complaining! I'm just worried they're going to die from stress.

 

The room is dead silent and the atmosphere is tense. Even though I'm wearing my mask now again and my face can't be seen, everyone can see the ice pack I'm holding and the bruises that are on my arms. There's no question about what happened- it's not like any of the trainees were surprised. The only question was about who did it. Bang PD steps forward and he clears his throat, face pissed.

 

_Bang PD... actually loves me!_

 

I start grinning like an idiot and the boys start shooting me glances.

 

"Kai, are you okay?" Taehyung hisses quietly to me, eyes worried.

 

"Kai- are you delirious from hitting your head? Why the hell are you smiling? I know you're wearing a mask- but we can still see it through the mesh part and it's creepy as hell," Jungkook whispers.

 

I give them a thumbs up and Bang PD just glances at our shenanigans before turning to all of the trainees.

 

"Some people should know exactly why we're here tonight. And if you don't, consider yourself lucky," Bang PD states.

 

Everyone glances at each other slowly, eyes wide. Their hearts pound and I can hear whispers.

 

_"Do you know what's going on?"_

 

_"No!_

 

_"I have no idea!"_

 

_"Did you do something?"_

 

_"Of course not!"_

 

_"Are we going to get kicked out of the company?! What's going on-"_

 

_"That trainee must be serious business... The employees usually don't care this much if a trainee snitches about getting beat up-"_

 

_"Why is BTS with him?"_

 

Bang PD clears his throat again, causing all of the whispering to stop.

 

"Once this person here," Bang PD says as he points to me and I awkwardly wave at everyone- causing the members of BTS to sigh and Bang PD to roll his eyes, "Points out the three people who assaulted him during dance practice... everyone else should get out immediately and go back home or to your dorms so you can rest before practice tomorrow. Got it?"

 

All of the trainees nod and say in unison, "Yes, Mr. Bang!"

 

Bang PD turns towards me, his face still angry- he's upset by this whole situation- and he nods slowly.

 

_That's my que._

 

I stand up slowly, all of the boys inching towards me in case I need help, but they back off when they see I'm fine. They stare at the other trainees with little amusement, their faces grim. All of the trainees shiver slightly. They look totally scary like this... If they weren't on my side right now, I would be terrified! I start walking down the rows of trainees, looking over everyone's faces. I try to remember who I had seen in that dark closet. They probably thought they were safe because it was so dark... but my eyes adjusted quickly because I was scared- and now all of their faces were ingrained into my thoughts... Along with everything else they did. The trainees relaxed one by one as I walked past them without saying anything. I walked through about four rows of trainees before I see the three guys- conveniently all standing together in a row. I quietly look them over as they stare at me intensely. The guy who was holding me earlier clenches his jaw, eyes more pissed than anything and the one who recorded is just looking down in shame. The third one- the one who hit me in the stomach and was the most nervous about being caught- glances from side to side and he gulps.

 

I slowly raise my arm and point at the three of them.

 

"Out," Bang PD states in a low voice and the rest of the trainees hastily make their way towards the door and quickly leave.

 

Yoongi laughs bitterly and steps forward towards the boys- just to "talk". Jin, Taehyung, and Namjoon quickly grab him and hold him back and Mr. Bang holds out a hand- telling all of the boys of BTS to stand still. I look at Mr. Bang.

 

_What are we going to do about these boys? We really didn't think much of this through... All I know, is that I want to confront them._

 

"So, let's talk," Bang PD says, clapping his hands before he smiles at me. He then looks at the three trainees, glaring.

 

I take off my mask again- this time on my own accord- [and I stare at them with an angry look in my eyes.](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/f8/46/c7/f846c74c15b81fd94bf2d7a8165f8231.jpg)

 

"Let's," I say.

 

...


	16. It's Fluffy and Warm, Okay?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I slowly raise my arm and point at the three of them.
> 
> "Out," Bang PD states in a low voice and the rest of the trainees hastily make their way towards the door and quickly leave.
> 
> Yoongi laughs bitterly and steps forward towards the boys- just to "talk". Jin, Taehyung, and Namjoon quickly grab him and hold him back and Mr. Bang holds out a hand- telling all of the boys of BTS to stand still. I look at Mr. Bang.
> 
> What are we going to do about these boys? We really didn't think much of this through... All I know, is that I want to confront them. 
> 
> "So, let's talk," Bang PD says, clapping his hands before he smiles at me. He then looks at the three trainees, glaring.
> 
> I take off my mask again- this time on my own accord- and I stare at them with an angry look in my eyes.
> 
> "Let's," I say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!!
> 
> Thank you all so much for continuing to support Kai Chen. I am adding pictures tomorrow! My computer is being really dumb- but I will be sure to post a message on my board when the images for the chapter are available. As usual, thank you for everything!! See you next Sunday!
> 
> Much Love,
> 
> Amanda

** **Chapter Sixteen: It's Warm and Fluffy, Okay?** ** **  
**

I walk towards them.

 

I am normally not this confrontational.

 

I don't know if it is the fact that I feel like a spy or something that needs to defend their identity, or if I'm just angry at the fact of these boys had tried- even if they knew it or not- to hurt not only me, but the rest of BTS.

 

Either way, I am ready to go off. And nothing is gonna stop me.

 

"So," I say, [smiling and I clap my hands in front of me](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/40/9d/4d/409d4d324c2900cf03d6858d154449dd.jpg) as I stand in front of all three of them.

 

The three boys shift uncomfortably with me in front of them, their eyes flying across the room.  They try to find somewhere to train their eyes- but if they look to their right they see the [glaring eyes of BTS](https://0.soompi.io/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/28213823/BTS12.jpg) and if they look to the left they see Mr. Bang. They all just look down instead.

 

"Three against one... isn't that fair, right?" I question, waiting for an answer.

 

I'm met with uncomfortable silence. I frown.

 

_I'm not letting them get off that easy._

 

"Right?" I repeat- and the boy who had hit me in the stomach earlier and who had been the most nervous is the first to shakily look up.

 

“Right. You’re right. I’m sorry. Please just don’t get me in trouble,” he begs, looking at me sincerely.

 

_Kai... don’t look into his eyes and make yourself feel bad. Don’t do it._

 

The other two boys sigh and shift uncomfortably at how quickly their accomplice caves in.

 

“Also... I know that besides for the fact that it was an unfair fight, there shouldn’t have been one in the first place. Why? Don’t worry- you guys can raise your hands.”

 

They all look at each other- bewildered. The guy who was recording slowly raises his hand.

 

”Because fighting is wrong...?” he asks slowly- unsure if I want the obvious answer.

 

”Hmmm, true. But that’s not the answer I was looking for.”

 

”Because we could get in trouble,” the first guy- the one who had been the most aggressive- says.

 

I scoff, not even taking time to reply to that once. Besides, he didn’t even raise his hand.

 

_Ew, I’m sounding like a teacher._

 

The most regretful guy raises his hand slowly. I point at him.

 

”Because you didn’t do anything wrong,” he says quietly, and I blink rapidly.

 

I hadn’t expected anyone to get the right answer... but it’s very satisfying. I find myself lightening up a bit- especially on that one guy.

 

”Yes...” I say slowly, serious for a moment- and then I add on, “My only crime is being too cool... and I can’t help that.”

 

I shrug my shoulders, grinning as I hear everyone behind me quietly stifle groans of annoyance.

 

The three boys standing in front of me look weirded out by now, so I guess Bang PD decides he should now take the reins before I steer too far off the road.

 

”All three of your statuses here at Big Hit are uncertain. In your contract that you signed here- it clearly stated that any violence done to trainees here, nonetheless on company property- would make your contracts susceptible to termination. Now, he gets to choose what happens to you.”

 

Bang PD nods to me.

 

I raise my eyebrows- I wasn’t expecting to be rewarded that much power.

 

_Oh how the tables have turned..._

 

The three boys glance back over at me. One of them sad, two of them angry.

 

”I need time. Have them take a break for a couple of days,” I say seriously, not giving them any hint of what I’m thinking of.

 

Bang PD nods and he continues, “Also, I have become aware that there was a video of him that was recorded. There is a reason we are hiding his face- and his identity needs to remain a secret. Was the video sent out anywhere?”

 

The boys all shake their heads and everyone in the room visibly relaxes.

 

”Who recorded it?” Bang PD asks me, and I quietly point at him.

 

Bang PD walks over and holds out his hand- which the boy slowly puts his phone into.

 

“We’ll be keeping this for a while. You can all go,” he says- and all of the boys freeze for a second and stare at each other before walking out quickly

 

I turn around, looking at the seven boys who seem to be more than agitated. They clench their jaws, shift uncomfortably.

 

Bang PD sighs as he looks at all of them, “I had to send them out. You guys saying or doing anything to them would have reflected badly on BTS.”

 

They all nod rigidly, sighing and grumbling random things.

 

I smile nervously at them and say, “It’s okay, guys. We’re all good.”

 

They all stare at me and Taehyung just comes over and hugs me tightly. My eyes widen in surprise.

 

”We’re sorry, Kai. This should never happen at Big Hit.” he tells me, his eyes sad.

 

Jimin and Hobi quickly come over and hug me, too. Yoongi- of course- coughs awkwardly and looks away and Jungkook just stares. Jin and Namjoon smile fondly.

 

”Ah- guys, seriously,” I quickly say, starting to stumble over my words as my face burns, “It’s all good. Thank you for worrying about me enough to come and find me.”

 

They all gasp at that and [suddenly I feel all seven boys hugging me.](http://pm1.narvii.com/6471/09d4740919ea88979d83d5fc5a939e7e9ba6c5b5_hq.jpg)

 

_Jesus Christ- BTS really does love hugs._

 

_and... they also give really good hugs._

 

_Like, damn. 10/10 recommend._

 

I look at all of them over Taehyung’s shoulder and catch Jungkook’s gaze. He just looks at me, slightly annoyed and he glances away. I smile.

 

_He’s still in the group hug, though._

 

”Alright boys, break it up,” Bang PD says- voice gentle.

 

We all awkwardly move away from each other- and Hoseok keeps an arm around me. I feel a smile tugging on my lips.

 

Jokes aside- _shocker, I know_ \- they all really did care about me enough to come look for me. _This is new. I’ve never had people care like this for me before. And I like it._

 

“Should we watch this?” Bang PD says as he holds up the boy’s phone and the fond smile slips off my face as I see the thumbnail.

 

Really... is everyone gonna watch me get my ass kicked?

 

Everyone pauses- but nods.

 

_I mean... I can’t blame them for being curious about what happened. But Jesus-_

 

I decide to sit back down in the chair and avoid watching it- after all I got to watch it live- as they all crowd around Bang PD and watch over his shoulder.

 

I watch their faces. Their expressions turn from surprise, to anger, to guilt- too many negative emotions for me. I sigh, feeling bad.

 

”Kai... you were so worried about your identity, you weren’t even worried about getting hit more to protect it,” Namjoon says quietly, touched.

 

”Of course,” I say, blinking.

 

They all exchange glances with each other- again doing that weird silent communication thing.

 

_Obviously I was..? No one is supposed to find out my identity or it’s over for my debut and for BTS._

 

”I hope they don’t meet me in a dark alley...” Yoongi states, eyes dark.

 

“I can’t say I am feeling a lot of self control at the moment either,” Jin says in an angry tone.

 

I’ve never seen Jin this serious... I don’t know BTS all that well yet- but I do know one thing.

 

_I need to cheer them up!_

 

“Hey guys, let’s just go back to the dorms,” I say lightly.

 

”Are you crazy?” Jungkook asks quickly and I look at him, squinting.

 

_I mean... I can’t say no._

 

_But why is he asking that now?_

 

I blink a couple times as I smile, trying to not be offended.

 

”He means... don’t you think we should go to the hospital or something?” Jimin says in a gentle voice.

 

”I think I’m fine,” I state as I stand up, holding the ice pack against my head. “Besides, I can’t pa-“

 

_...y for the hospital bills._

 

”I can’t... p...” I say slowly, then laugh nervously.

 

_God damn it brain! Think of another word that starts with p that makes sense!_

 

”You can’t panic? Are you scared of hospitals?” Yoongi asks- saving me.

 

_Sugar... I could cry and kiss you right now._

 

I nod rapidly and then stop as I get dizzy.

 

_Ouch. Not a good idea._

 

”Uh... please. I’d rather not go to the hospital,” I say politely, and the boys seem uncomfortable with the idea, but don’t object.

 

“Fine, but at least go visit the personal doctor that’s inside of Big Hit. They tend to all of the trainees injuries. Go ahead,” Bang PD tells me, waving me off and I slowly walk out of the practice room- having my seven “bodyguards” walking behind me.

 

...

...

...

 

We had all gone to the company medic, who after a quick, but thorough evalulation said I had a minor concussion and needed to take a break from exercising for a couple days. I also had badly bruised ribs from where I had gotten hit in the stomach- thankfully not broken- which hurt me every time I breathed. Yep, breathed.

 

So basically, for the next three days I did not move off of the couch in the living room. The boys would often stop in and sit next to me, talking to me and they would literally get anything I needed for me. I made a joke of ordering Jungkook around when he was the only one in the dorms. He was annoyed, but surprisingly compliant.

 

When the seven boys were gone, which was most of the time- they are super busy- I spent my time listening to their old songs off of my phone and trying to quietly sing them. It hurt my ribs a little bit to do deep breathing in order to sing the songs correctly, but suddenly with all of this new free time I found myself able to learn the lyrics and the notes to the songs a lot easier.

 

Right now, it was my third and last day on break. Tomorrow, I began not only training again, but...

 

School.

 

I rubbed my face, groaning just thinking about it. I rolled over on the couch so I was lying on my stomach- [a fluffy BTS merch blanket with the boys’ faces on it](https://imgix.ttcdn.co/i/product/original/0/480871-697601a62e2c431682cf0ffc88ad55ff.jpeg?w=1000&;q=100&;auto=format,compress&;fm=jpeg) wrapped around me like a cocoon. Long story short- I was too cold out here with the thin sheets we all had in the dorms. The only fluffy blanket they could find on the premises was this one- still packaged.

 

I’ve had many blackmail pictures of me taken in it, and I don’t appreciate it.

 

_Still... it’s so warm, I refuse to take it off._

 

My phone buzzes, directing my attention to the group chat.

 

Right- after we got back to the dorms that night when I got beat up, the boys all gave me their numbers and added me to the BTS group chat. They all apologized profusely for not doing it earlier and that if I needed anything, or if someone tried to hurt me again, I could text them.

 

Their group chat name was lame- BTS Chat - so I changed it. It had first been BANGtan men, with a bunch of dirty emojis like an eggplant and water droplets, but all of the other seven members- with Jungkook and Yoongi being the most adamant- had threatened to kill me if I kept changing the group chat name to that. So, we settled with this name. It’s still cool- but not as good, honestly. I start texting in it.

 

 **BANGTAN BOYYYZZZZ:  
  
**TaeTae :** ** Hey Kai! How are you doing?? We just finished our interview finally and we’re headed back. :))) **  
  
**Me:** ** GUYS!!!!  
**  
**Sugar:** ** wtf **  
  
**TaeTae :** **??? **  
  
**My Jedi Master Joon:** ** Kai, are you okay? **  
  
Me:** ugjfjdjsusi **  
  
**Me** :** ahajsgsgsah  
**  
**Jin Hyung:**** Kai, are you okay??? **  
  
**Chim Chim:** ** KAI OMG ;-;  
**  
Me:** GUYS HELP! **  
  
**Me:** ** I NEED- **  
**  
**Hobi:** YOU NEED??!!?? **  
  
Sugar: ** Speak in full sentences, you idiot! **  
  
Me:** I NEED... **  
  
**TaeTae:**** Help??? Do you need help?!? **  
  
**Chim Chim:** ** Are you getting beat up again??? **  
  
**My Jedi Master Joon** : **Where are you??? **  
  
**Jin Hyung:**** Baby?? What’s going on??? **  
  
**Me:**** I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO BECAUSE IM BORED ://///

 

I grin and I look away from the screen, laughing. I lean back into the couch [as I laugh my ass off.](http://pa1.narvii.com/6243/926d6a081d61a1d315f2f31af6d4de48e0a96c64_hq.gif)

 

_I’m definitely not bored anymore._

 

I wipe the tears that have formed in my eyes from laughing so hard and look back at the screen. **  
**

 

 ** BANGTAN BOYYYZZZZ: ** **  
**

****Kookie monster:** ** i hate u sm **  
  
**My Jedi Master Joon:** ** I’m- **  
  
**Hobi:** ** KAI HSNSHSSH **  
  
**Chim Chim:** ** IM CRYING LITERAL TEARS **  
  
**TaeTae:** ** I nearly had a heart attack omg Kai??? why??? do you do this???  
**  
**Jin Hyung** : **I can’t believe I called him baby over this smh. Kai ur nickname privileges are removed   
  
**Sugar:** Screw you, Kai **  
**  
**Sugar:** No one talk to him. He deserves to be bored.

 

The group chat falls silent and I laugh quietly, putting my phone away.

 

_I’ll leave them all alone._

 

_For now._

 

I laugh for a while, bored and continue to be on my phone until I hear loud footsteps running down the hallway.

 

_Shit._

 

The door slams open and Jin glares at me.

 

”Kai! Are you trying to give me heart attack?!” Jin exclaims and I stare at him, eyes wide with feigned innocence as I fight a smile.

 

”Woah- I was just bored. I don’t know why everyone freaked out!” [I tell him defensively as I continue to lazily lounge on the couch.](https://media.giphy.com/media/3o6Zt69659EBfml4Va/source.gif)

 

Yoongi walks in slowly after him, lamely replying, “Bullshit.”

 

He stares at me as he walks over to the couch and I groan as I lazily shift to a sitting position, the blanket still around me and he sits next to me.

 

Jimin and Taehyung follow, both of them pouting and whining at me as they walk in.

 

”Kai, I was so nervous!” Jimin tells me and [Taehyung squeezes my cheek gently, eyes narrowing as he continues to pout.](https://file.tinnhac.com/resize/600x-/music/2018/04/27/wp-content-uploads-2-cc95.jpg)

 

”Don’t scare us like that,” Taehyung complains as he lets go of my cheek and sits down next to me. He stretches dramatically, spreading his limbs like a starfish and hitting me many times. Is this on purpose? Possibly.

 

Jimin and Jin take a seat on the other couch, leaning back into the cushions and relaxing.

 

Hoseok walks in, followed by a very disgruntled Jungkook.

 

“So dumb,” Jungkook comments and he sits on the other couch away from me.

 

Hoseok just smiles and shakes his head, amused but trying hard not to show it.

 

Namjoon walks in and he raises his eyebrows, confused, “You were the most worried about him when he was texting us, and now you’re calling him dumb?”

 

My jaw drops open. _Jungkook?! The most worried?_

 

I slowly turn and smile at him,[ looking at him like _"seriously"?!_](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/55/88/fc/5588fc6922ad7513cc32d6fe4f3a371d.jpg)

 

[He just scoffs and rolls his eyes.](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/2e/6f/ae/2e6faeb0249f0fcf3cc693ae973f49f5.gif)

 

”I was worried someone would send pictures of his face,” Jungkook states and continues, “It’s ugly and would blind our precious ARMYs. Plus, his identity can’t be found out.”

 

I gasp loudly and chuck a pillow at him as the other boys quietly laugh at our usual antics.

 

”How dare you insult someone who’s injured!” I complain loudly and lean back into the couch, pouting.

 

Taehyung smiles down at me, no longer stretching and he says, “So cute!”

 

"I’m trying to act mad!” I exclaim, trying to sound offended but I just start smiling and cover my face, which is red.

 

Taehyung hugs me, laughing and the other boys smile and laugh- amused too.

 

It’s really, really difficult for me to be actually serious. It takes a lot of energy.

 

Just then, Jin quietly gasps as he looks at his phone.

 

”Jungkook, Kai, it’s 10 PM and you have to be at school tom-“

 

I quickly put my hands over my ears and watch as Jin’s mouth moves- but no words come out.

 

_If I don’t hear it, I can still be in denial._

 

I sigh, still covering my ears when I feel a hand come out and whack the back of my head. I quickly move my hands, quietly making a noise of surprise and I rub my head. I glance around for the perpetrator and my eyes land on Sugar. He looks up at me from his phone, blinking once.

 

_God, he’s being like salt today._

 

”Listen to your elder. He said that since you have school tomorrow at 8AM, you should go to bed now.” Salt tells me and I sigh, fighting the urge to cover my ears again and my stomach has butterflies in it.

 

_School..._

 

I say goodnight to everyone, sighing and sadly trudge to Jungkook and I's room. Jungkook is already at our bedroom door, pulling it open and we both walk in. He plops down on his bed, sighing.

 

”Jungkook... do you like school?” I ask him, pausing at the ladder of our bunk bed to talk to him.

 

[He shrugs, frowning slightly](http://pm1.narvii.com/6605/9366e32fc368c212cff1c0cc2cc2ac78c6a13a49_hq.jpg) and replies nonchalantly, “Yeah. I mean- it’s obviously sucky to do schoolwork and stuff, but it’s fun.”

 

Jungkook must be popular for school to be “fun”.

 

I just smile and give him a thumbs up before climbing up to my top bunk. I lie down and tightly hug a pillow, closing my eyes.

 

_Please... just let me have a good first day tomorrow._

 

_Without any bullies, or embarrassing moments, and let me be able to hang out with Jungkook. Maybe we can become closer if we become good school friends!_

 

_The first day usually determines how your entire year will go..._

 

_It’s a lot of pressure._

 

As I close my eyes, my heart pounds and my ribs throb painfully. I try and force myself to calm down- after all, worrying now won’t change the future- but I can’t help it.

 

Now, I continue to silently plead for a good day tomorrow, even as I doze off and finally fall asleep.

 

\---


	17. If Looks Could Kill, The Dumbass Teacher Would Be Dead First, and Then Me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Kai, the first day of school for you is in a couple of days. So lucky for you- you won't be coming in the middle of the year," Mr. Bang explains and I pause for a second.
> 
> Wait... I have just spent the entire year in school in the United States. It was going to be summer in a couple months... 
> 
> Are you saying I have to start the entire school year over again?! 
> 
> I completely forgot that the school year in Korea starts in March... 
> 
> And that school goes from eight AM to four PM here instead of two PM... 
> 
> I miss schooling in the United States. It wasn't as good quality-wise, but... it sure as hell was easier. 
> 
> Then again, wouldn't this be like relearning what I've already learned? So... it'll be easier? 
> 
> "You'll also be taking more advanced classes with Jungkook since it is to my understanding that you've already learned most of the information for what should have been your 11th year. Once you finish this school year, the school will allow you to take more advanced courses online for your final year so you'll be able to be with BTS full time."
> 
> Never mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for supporting Kai Chen as always :)))
> 
> Hope you enjoy this update! Constructive criticism and what you guys would like to see is always welcome! I cannot guarantee I'll apply it, but I'll always take it into consideration and appreciate it. Much love!!!
> 
> -Amanda

**Chapter Seventeen: If Looks Could Kill, The Dumbass Teacher Would Be Dead First, and Then Me:**

The voice of [IU- again, Jungkook's favorite idol and actress](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/1e/20171203_IU_Cheongju_Concert_%28cropped%29.jpg/1200px-20171203_IU_Cheongju_Concert_%28cropped%29.jpg)\- blasts through our room, waking both of us up. Jungkook rolls over slowly as he reaches for his cellphone and he stretches, his tips of his fingers grabbing at his phone as he slowly inches it closer. The alarm keeps blaring. I growl quietly and grab my pillow, pulling it quickly over my face in attempt to muffle that girl's voice. If it was a nice song before, it's ruined now.

 

_That's why I never have good songs as my alarms. Once it's your alarm, you'll hate it every time you hear it._

 

Still, Jungkook's love is definitely unwavering. I swear I can see him nodding his head to the song already as he eventually manages to get the phone into his hand and he taps the screen multiple times as he finally- _thank god_ \- shuts it off. I keep my pillow hugged over my face, not daring to move.

 

_If I don't move, this isn't real._

 

_If I don't move, I can go back to sleep and not go to school._

 

Jungkook throws one of his pillows on me and it thumps on my stomach.

 

"Kai, get up. It's time for-" Jungkook starts, before I cut him off.

 

I groan loudly- not wanting him to say it.

 

"Kai it's-"

 

I groan again.

 

"K-"

 

I groan again and Jungkook yanks the blanket off of me- all of my body heat leaving me.

 

"School," Jungkook says bluntly, before walking out to go use the bathroom and brush his teeth. I slowly sit up and climb down the ladder, my legs shaking slightly since I am just waking up. I take a deep breath, flinching slightly at the end as my ribs protest. I pull up my shirt and look at my (fl)abs in the mirror and poke at the bruises, which have now faded from a redish-purple to a bluish-green. I rub the back of my head- I have a concussion that the doctor said would make me sensitive to light and other stuff like that for a while, but for now it feels perfectly fine if I am just walking around normally. I let my shirt drop back to cover my stomach as I walk over to the dresser and lamely pull out my uniform. 

 

_I was supposed to hang them up so they wouldn't be this wrinkled... but I was too lazy._

 

I hastily shake out my white dress shirt and pull it on, along with my pants and converse- which are both black. [I look at myself in the mirror again and blink.](https://koreaboo-cdn.storage.googleapis.com/2016/07/CodKRPkUsAAXQZL.jpg)

 

_Jesus. Please._

 

I try fixing my hair, running my fingers through it rapidly. It still looks like a porcupine. I frown, and then give up.

 

[Jungkook pops his head into our room, dressed already with his hair styled and his face fresh.](https://c1.staticflickr.com/9/8052/28566469244_5bbe46a185_o.png)

 

"You ready to go?" he asks, a hint of irritancy in his voice. He glances around and taps his foot- clearly wanting to get a move on.

 

I stare at him, my mouth open.

 

_Why... do all of the guys in BTS always look good? Without even trying?_

 

_This is killing my self esteem._

 

He raises an eyebrow at me and I quickly shut my mouth as I hastily grab my backpack and walk out into the hallway, shutting the door behind me. Jungkook and I silently walk to the living room, where Jin- _god bless his heart_ \- has made us food.

 

I blink rapidly, feeling somewhat of a culture shock as he gives me [a hot place of kimchi and rice with an egg on top.](https://cdn5.norecipes.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/23053021/recipekimchi-fried-rice.1024x1024.jpg)

 

_I forgot that breakfasts in Korea are sometimes like lunch and dinner. More and more people in Korea are eating pastries and cereal and stuff like they do in America and other western countries, but for the most part it's soup and rice and meat... For the past two years, I had totally gotten used to eating Froot Loops in the mornings._

 

_This is so much better. Plus, it's probably a good idea to eat breakfast like this instead. It's going to give me more energy._

 

_Still... Jin hyung woke up this early to cook all of this for us._

 

I feel bad for his hard work, but I find myself smiling brightly at the nice gesture and I quickly sit down at the wooden table with Jungkook as we shove the food into our mouths.

 

"Thank you, hyung," we both say in between giant bites, and he yawns as he sits at the table with a plate for himself.

 

"Just fueling you guys for school," he says with a bright smile and he takes a bite before sighing loudly, content. [He squeezes his eyes shut for a moment as he chews.](http://cfile9.uf.tistory.com/original/235CB84655DEB30C25F5EC)

 

"This is... perfection. Wow. I surprise myself by my talents every single day," Jin states when he opens his eyes again and Jungkook and I both exchange amused looks.

 

Jungkook slowly stands up, looking down at his wrist where a black watch is.

 

"We should leave now, Kai," he states and I quickly start shoveling the food into my mouth at double speed.

 

"Hol onf," I say with my mouth full and both Jungkook and Jin grimace.

 

"Kai, bad. Where are your manners?" Jin reprimands me like a dog, and I look up at him with my mouth full still.

 

_I guess I do look like a dog at this point._

 

"Ew," Jungkook states, glancing at his watch again and I pick up the plate, tilting it towards my mouth and shaking it a couple times before putting it down.

 

Jungkook shakes his head and walks out, and I quickly wave at Jin before running out.

 

"Don't do anything dangerous, Kai!" Jin yells after me and I scowl.

 

_Why did he single me out?! Jungkook could do something dangerous, too!_

 

I catch up to Jungkook and he smirks as he sees my expression. We walk in silence, leaving the dorms and getting out onto the sidewalk.

 

_Since the dorms are only around 5 minutes away from the school, we both agreed to turn down the van that would have driven us to school._

 

_Well... it was more Jungkook who refused. He didn't want to bring more attention to us than there already would be- and he said that walking would be good exercise._

 

_I laughed when he called exercise "good", he glared at me, and we never talked about the van again._

 

_Now, here we are._

 

 We walk in silence side-by-side on the sidewalk. I glance at Jungkook, wanting to make conversation, but I'm too nervous about school to be creative- so I opt out for putting in my earbuds and trying to continue to memorize BTS' old songs. Right now, this song is [Boy in Luv](https://youtu.be/m8MfJg68oCs).

 

_It's... a bop. A big bop._

 

_I'm even more into it because I'm in a school uniform._

 

"Say what you want, say what you want," I quietly mumble, skipping a little into half of dance move while we continue to walk.

 

Jungkook glances over at me, raising his eyebrows- but he doesn't say anything. As we get to the school gates, I pull out my earbuds and put my phone away. I put a hand over my hand over my heart, feeling it pound against my fingertips as we walk through it.

 

I take a deep breath. I take a step. I take another deep breath. I take another step. I take a-

 

[I gasp weirdly](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cw1R8KzVEAAwPa6.jpg), trying to breath in and I feel like my lungs are closed. Like I'm trying to breathe- but there's a brick wall in my throat.

 

Jungkook hears me and he stops and turns around, eyes confused. His eyes then turn worried as he walks quickly back over to me-

 

_Back over to me?_

 

_Oh yeah, wait- I stopped walking-_

 

"Are you okay, Kai?" he asks, and I feel his hand on my upper arm.

 

_Oh hell yes I am-_

 

_Breathe, you idiot. Everything's fine._

 

I try to fill my lungs with air, my face serious.

 

_Why can't I control this? Just take a breath!_

 

_We're chilling, Kai! Come on!_

 

I gasp again- it's an embarrassing sound- and I choke out, "I choked on water."

 

"You don't have any water, Kai," Jungkook says, annoyed- but his eyes are still gentle.

 

"I mean- I have allergies," I say and cough, trying to recover quickly so I don't cause a scene on the first day of school.

 

"To what?" Jungkook asks.

 

"Uh- to air," I say quickly, not wanting Jungkook to see me as pathetic as he probably already does.

 

_I'm trying to gain his approval, damn it._

 

Jungkook stares at me, blinking a few times and he shakes his head- and decides not to pry. I also decide to not tell him anything.

 

_Honestly, it's a waste of time. I'm nervous over this one group of old bullies I had here in Korea._

 

_Not over them kicking my ass- I mean, as you can obviously tell from the last two chapters, I'm used to people kicking my ass. People tried to kick my ass all the time in the United States!_

 

 _Plus, they were j_ _ust a few specific people. In a different province in Korea, too. There's no way they could be here. Even if they did, they probably wouldn't recognize me. I'm under a new name, too._

 

After thinking my worries through, I calm down enough to act like nothing happened. I straighten up quickly and brush the wrinkles out of the front of my shirt a couple times. I put on a serious face and declare dramatically, "Let us go!"

 

I walk in the gates, holding my bag close and I act like nothing happened as Jungkook walks next to me. He keeps shooting me glances, which makes me grumble.

 

_I know what you're thinking._

 

_"Kai, how can someone as amazing... and cool... and charismatic... and utterly hot as you be bullied? It makes no sense!"_

 

_I know, right?!_

 

_Well..._

 

_I'll tell you._

 

_My father often wronged the parents of other kids at my school. If you remember, I briefly talked about why me had to move from Korea to the United States. My dad harassed people in work, women- always, and it eventually got to the point where no one would offer him jobs in Korea. Anyways- the kids at school's moms and my dad usually happened to be employees- and the kids of these mothers would exact revenge on my father through me. It was a pride sort of thing. They thought that if they harassed me, my father would stop harassing their moms._

 

_However, their revenge obviously didn't work- because my father doesn't care._

 

_While I went to school here in Korea, there was a group of these rich asshole boys who were angry at my dad- so they made me their dog. I did everything for them- from delivering them food, to finishing their homework. If I ever said no, I got the crap kicked out of me. If I got the crap kicked out of me, I couldn't work as well. If I couldn't work as well, I didn't get money. If I didn't get money, Jae couldn't get the things she wanted. If-_

 

_Long story short, I did everything they wanted me to. They knew exactly what was at stake for me. They threatened to hurt my sister if I said a word- and obviously that scared me enough while I was younger._

 

_I'm not scared of getting beat up. I'm scared of those same boys using the people I care about against me. They figured out my weaknesses and were able to use them- so it's why I usually... don't let anyone else see my weaknesses either. I just don't want anyone else getting hurt._

 

_Anyways..._

 

_Let's continue on with the jokes. Enough with the serious talk._

 

Now that my body is not trying to kill me, I walk into the classroom with Jungkook- casually looking around.

 

_Ah, that's right. Everyone in here is one year older than me. How could I forget... **(A/N: IF YOU ARE CONFUSED ABOUT WHY THIS IS TRUE READ THE CHAP SUMMARY FOR A RECAP)**_

I slowly start to sit down into the desk that is paired with the one [that Jungkook took](http://pm1.narvii.com/6306/63c3fe5814082d9e37095fc9a5f00fb926fb34ba_hq.jpg), but he quickly sticks his arm out and gives me a pointed look.

 

_Right... We aren't supposed to be seen interacting that much inside of school- just so no rumors get out and so no one tries to look into me._

 

I groan and sit instead in the desk that is still next to him, but in the other row. Jungkook shoots me a glare- he obviously thinks it's not good enough- but I don't move.

 

_Seriously, Jungkook is like one of those parents who throw their kids into the middle of a pond in order to teach them how to swim._

 

_If they die, they die. If they don't, they learned how to swim. He has thrown me into the pond, so what am I going to do now?_

 

I look at him, grumpy now.

 

_Why is he so abrupt! Hm?!_

 

I angrily put my backpack on my desk and dig through it, getting out my things. The teacher walks in and the students quiet down. This random girl sits in the partner desk next to me. The class begins.

 

...

...

...

 

Four hours into class, and we're now onto English as the subject. The teacher is asking all of us questions in English, and we have to answer them again, in English. I try to act a little dumb so she doesn't suspect I'm fluent in English.

 

_What is that I smell...? An easy "A"?_

 

_Hell yes. Imagine:_

 

_"Kai, how to you say dog in Korean?" the teacher asks me._

 

_"Uh.... uh.... cat?"_

 

_Oh yeah, I'm gonna be doing this the whole year._

 

"Jungkook, how are you today?" the teacher asks him in English. His accent is very thick. 

 

He stares at him, eyes alarmed and he scratches at the back of his head.

 

_This question should be easy for a senior- or whatever it's called... shouldn't it?_

 

_Is he not good at English?_

 

_Why didn't he ask me for some help?_

 

Some of the kids start smiling or laughing at him as the teacher continues to stare at him, annoyed.

 

_I've got you, buddy._

 

I quickly scratch down the answer on a note and pretend to be showing Jungkook where in the book he should be looking in order to try and figure out the answer and he stares at the paper I hid in between the pages for a good thirty seconds.

 

"Jungkook, the answer is 'I am doing fine, thank you'," Jungkook reads out loud, and I stare at him, blinking rapidly as the class busts out laughing.

 

_He was just supposed to say the answer part..._

 

_What was he thinking?! I know I wrote it all in English because I was quickly thinking and in an "English" mindset- but still! He should be able to distinguish which part he is supposed to say with this many years of English classes under his belt!_

 

_We're so screwed now..._

 

The teacher walks over, face a mix of irritated and unamused and they snatch the book quickly from Jungkook's grasp and see my note. The teacher looks at me and shakes his head. Jungkook and I quickly stand up with our hands folded in front of us, our heads bowed.

 

"Kai Chen, you just joined this class and you're already being a bad influence! Giving him the answer won't help Jungkook learn any better, and seeing from his lack of answer, he definitely needs to learn a lot more," the teacher says, causing some of the kids to chuckle very quietly.

 

_Did... he just insinuate that Jungkook is stupid?!_

 

 _Oh, hell no. Not on my watch._  

 

"Maybe it's your failure as a teacher, sir. In not giving him the proper attention he needs," I say politely, but my voice drips with sarcasm and I continue, "If you had caught he wasn't understanding English when he first had entered your class, maybe he would know the answer now."

 

_Oh shit- wait-_

 

_In America you can get away with smack talking teachers to some extent- they usually just send you out of the classroom or to the principal to get a stern talking to. Here, they won't do that in the off chance that your parents will complain about you missing out on your education. Teachers usually will yell at you first, and punish you later. Also... in Korea teachers should be respected at all costs. Usually, everyone is here to learn and are very competitive about getting into college- so no one dares to act out this much. Except when they're off campus, of course. And not in after school sports or study programs._

 

_Thank god corporal punishment is banned in schools in Seoul now, because I can tell this teacher probably wants to hit me sooooo hard._

 

_Why am I so good at being sassy..._

 

_It's a blessing and a curse. I'm not sure which one it is right now._

 

The classroom is dead silent, no one daring to speak. The teacher stares at me, fire burning in his eyes.

 

"I recommend that you do not say another word for this entire class. Do not interrupt anyone's learning ever again- and you and Jungkook are going to have detention after school for a month!" the teacher says loudly.

 

_Never mind, it's a curse. Definitely a curse._

 

[Jungkook shoots me a nasty look from the corner of his eye](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/72/13/41/72134142e0562cb43e3676ecb295dc84--kookie-bts-jeon-jungkook-.jpg) and I feel my face heat up. I decide to keep my mouth shut this time.

 

_I've dug myself into a giant hole. I'm not gonna risk digging it deeper in attempting to get out._

 

"Now sit down, and pay attention. And no more passing notes," the teacher says.

 

"Yes, sir," Jungkook and I both say simultaneously, before sitting down quickly as the teacher walks back to the front of the room and begins lecturing again. Students are glancing at us.

 

I glance over at Jungkook, who seems to be biting his lip nervously. When he catches my gaze, he shoots me another glare and shifts in his seat so he's looking away from me. I sigh deeply.

 

_I just got Jungkook into worse trouble than he was going to get in initially,.._

 

_I was only trying to defend his honor! It just... kinda backfired. I couldn't help being a sarcastic little shit._

 

_Plus, we were supposed to draw the least amount of attention to ourselves as possible. And everyone already knows Jungkook is apart of BTS. This could give him a scandal._

 

_If he didn't hate me before, he definitely hates me now._

 

_…I'm an idiot._

 

...

...

…

 

The class finally ends, and Jungkook and I trudge up to the teachers desk as everyone else files out of the room, continuing to shoot glances at us. When the room is finally emptied, the teacher starts to talk. His voice is filled with aggression- his pride was definitely hurt by my comment. It embarrassed him in front of his students- who all hold him in high respect.

 

"You both are going to be meeting me after class for a week, and I'll tell you exactly what to do. Today you'll both have to write letters reflecting on what you've done, apologizing to me, and for the days of detention after that you'll have to clean and do certain projects for the school. I hope you two really take time to consider the consequences the next time you choose to cheat or disrespect your teacher."

 

Jungkook automatically bows his head and states seriously, "Yes, sir. It won't happen again."

 

The teacher nods in approval at Jungkook and he turns to look at me, waiting.

 

_You stupid ugly-ass looking motherf-_

 

"I understand, sir. Sorry sir," I tell him, smiling politely.

 

_You... I have so many things I want to say to you..._

 

[I feel flames burning in my eyes so I look down](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/04/67/3e/04673e55925e8d8994bd1297a64e32a6.jpg), taking a deep breath. The teacher hands us both paper and a pen.

 

"Get to work," he states and sits in his own chair in front of the classroom. Jungkook and I both sit on opposite ends of the room and silently start writing. I glance at the clock, sighing deeply.

 

_This is going to take time out of practice, too..._

 

_So._

 

_My first day of school- my first impression._

 

_… didn't exactly go according to plan._

 

_And speaking of things not going according to plan... I am reminded of something that had happened earlier. You all probably remember it:_

 

**I stand up and walk out with the rest of the boys- who are chatting quickly to me. Namjoon frowns disapprovingly at everyone's forgetfulness as he quickly takes the mask from my hands and puts it on me. I quickly apologize and we keep walking down the hallway. They point out some of the important places in the Big Hit Building that we pass on the way to the dorms. Jin at one point awkwardly apologizes for Jungkook's behavior- saying that he's not usually like this.**

**I smile brightly and clench my fists in determination.**

 

**"Don't worry. I know- he seems really nice. He can't resist my charms forever. Watch- we'll become best friends right away."**

**The boys laugh, shaking their heads at my cockiness and we continue to walk back to the dorms.**

 

_**...I would later find out that my "charms" are actually really, really easy to resist. Especially if the owner of those charms replaced your spot as BTS' youngest brother.** _

 

_**Jeon Jungkook, I would later come to realize, actually hated me. And I can't say I entirely blamed him.** _

 

_**Didn't I tell you earlier that I always managed to embarrass myself?** _

 

_**Well... I also somehow always managed to embarrass him, too.** _

 

Didn't I warn you guys?

 

Jungkook hates my guts.

 

—-


	18. The Closet Incident, the Bathroom Incident, and the Office Incident.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The class finally ends, and Jungkook and I trudge up to the teachers desk as everyone else files out of the room, continuing to shoot glances at us. When the room is finally emptied, the teacher starts to talk. His voice is filled with aggression- his pride was definitely hurt by my comment. It embarrassed him in front of his students- who all hold him in high respect.
> 
> "You both are going to be meeting me after class for a week, and I'll tell you exactly what to do. Today you'll both have to write letters reflecting on what you've done, apologizing to me, and for the days of detention after that you'll have to clean and do certain projects for the school. I hope you two really take time to consider the consequences the next time you choose to cheat or disrespect your teacher."
> 
> Didn't I warn you guys?
> 
> Jungkook hates my guts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!!
> 
> I am going to be adding pictures to this chapter tomorrow, so don't worry! If you enjoy the pictures and would like to check back in, then you can. But if not- just look at it the next time the story updates. Sorry for missing last Sunday! I was very busy with school and my schedule- just like Kai Chen- so I wasn't able to hit the deadline. I wanted to make sure that I focused on quality over quantity, which is why I decided to take another week to do it. I'll try to inform you all earlier next time!! Thank you all for supporting Kai Chen. I hope it continues to make you smile.
> 
> <3 Amanda

**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: The Closet Incident, The Bathroom Incident, and The Office Incident:**

_It's been a week since the first day of school. And since I got detention. And since I made Jungkook hate me._

 

_Since I know you all would hate me for time skipping this far without giving you a recap- because yes, I know my recaps are amazing- let us begin._

 

_Let me first start off with the uh- closet incident._

 

_And no, I don't mean me coming out of the closet (yet_ _)._

 

_I'm just kidding._

 

 _Or am I?_ _The world may never know._

 

_Anyways! I was just talking about that tiny incident where I got jumped and pummeled by three guys in a storage closet at Big Hit!_

 

_After a few more meetings again with the three boys, Mr. Bang, and a couple company lawyers- we got everything settled. I signed many forms that told me I would never talk about the incident- which, sure- whatever, fine,-  and then I decided what to do about the three boys._

 

_I..._

 

_let one of them stay at Big Hit._

 

_Two of the boys still were angry with me and showed little remorse- so I did the same with them. I had them kicked out of Big Hit. They didn't seem like they were training to debut for the right reasons. They seemed focused on money and status- which is why they reacted so violently to me stealing their training time. People should not have bullies as role models anyways._

 

_However... the third boy- the one who had been the most regretful throughout this whole ordeal- had really gotten to me during one of the meetings. He broke down crying and told me how he was sorry and that it was his dream to debut. I couldn't sit there and give him some sarcastic reply while he was crying._

 

_Besides, who the hell am I to take someone's dream like that?_

 

_I gave him a second chance. He's put on probation at Big Hit- which means that his contract can be terminated at any time and if he does anything remotely wrong, he will be done. He also will not be considered to debut for two years. I was asked if I wanted a restraining order, but I said no. I have a feeling he won't try to beat me again without those two stupid guys around him being bad influences._

 

_During all of these legal complications- my week of detention and school continued. I had lots of homework to do- and slept very little. Jungkook and I were on three hours of sleep a night, at best, and we were both walking zombies. The boys often played tricks on us since we were both so out of it, they could do anything. They convinced me once I needed to go to the store to buy more water because we ran out._

 

_We get water out of the fridge._

 

_I was so tired that[I made it halfway there to the convenience store](http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-QUiHyx-QN94/TccvPANhXRI/AAAAAAAAFyc/MjUHKf93ypM/s1600/DSC_0820.JPG), absolutely and completely intent on buying like three cases of water bottles before I realized that they had been messing with me._

 

_In all seriousness, though, the boys for the most part tried their best to take care of Jungkook and I. We both had school, detention, training, and homework all at the same time. On top of training, recording and for him, photoshoots and appearances, and for me, catching up on the older songs and dance moves. We both were worn out and had little time to goof off with the other boys. We both fell asleep often in the living room- and suddenly we'd be in our rooms when we woke up, probably because one or two of the boys had decided to carry us there. Also, Jin hyung always continued wake up early and make us breakfast. Every. Single. Morning._

 

_I felt bad- I wanted to thank Jin properly by doing something for him, too- but I simply had no time._

 

_Detention, after we had finished our reflection letters or whatever, involved cleaning. Lots and lots of cleaning._

 

_We cleaned the art room, the science lab, the storage closet, the library, the school bathrooms, and now finally- today is the gym. And the last day of detention._

 

_Oh- and I almost forgot- Jungkook still hates me. Like, a lot._

 

_I tried starting conversations with him at home, during training, in school- but he's been ignoring me or been giving me two to three word responses._

 

_He's actually a pretty shy person... so I imagine he was embarrassed by being called out by the teacher because of me. Plus, I've caused his schedule to be hell. At least, after today, we will have three more extra hours after school to fit everything in. Maybe we won't be so exhausted anymore! Maybe Jungkook will go easy on me again._

 

Speaking of the devil, I glance over at Jungkook and briefly stop my vigorous scrubbing of the gym floor. He's doing the same cleaning as I am, just a couple feet away. We were told to scrub the gym floor until not an ounce of dirt is left and it's definitely taking a while. He glances up- he must've felt my gaze on him. He just stares blankly at me, before looking down at the floor again and scrubbing harder. I laugh nervously and the noise easily fills the gym. Jungkook just keeps staring intently at the floor. Silence falls again. I start scrubbing again, but the lack of conversation is killing me. 

 

_It's... so awkward!_

 

"Hey... Jungkook, you know today is our last day of detention, right?" I tell him, continuing to scrub, and continue, "Then, tomorrow we finally have enough time to begin taking concept photos and shooting the concept MV!"

 

I try to sound as happy as possible- in attempts to make him think optimistically. I focus on my cleaning as I approach another dirt splotch on the floor.

 

"I do know that it's our last day of detention. I've been counting the days that are left where I have to spend time alone with you in a room for three hours," he retorts, grumpy.

 

I stop in my cleaning again, [my eyes widening](https://koreaboo-cdn.storage.googleapis.com/2017/06/cha-eun-woo-8.jpg).

 

 _Ouch!_ _That was unnecessarily mean..._

 

_I think I'm becoming more sensitive because I haven't been getting a lot of sleep. And he's more grumpy because he hasn't gotten a lot of sleep either. Still, despite the reason, I'm all worked up anyways. I have to say something to defend my pride._

 

"Well... I was counting them too," I reply, continuing to clean again and I frown deeply.

 

[Jungkook looks up in surprise, not used to me retorting to him like that.](https://pa1.narvii.com/6262/46a93adc20e18411af07b0259be3011e251ceeb4_hq.gif) He stares at me for a couple moments before looking back down and scrubbing the floor so hard, I swear he could've rubbed a hole into it.

 

"...Fine," he says, halfway there to making a hole to the center of the earth.

 

“Fine," I reply.

 

_Asshole._

 

...

...

...

 

When detention is over, we walk home in silence and sit in the living room. The boys- if they suspected anything was up- don't question us about it. We goof off. I play wrestle with Jimin and Taehyung on the couch briefly, talk with Jin, Hobi, and Namjoon about how school and my studies are going, and ask Yoongi how he has been doing. I don't dare look at or talk to Jungkook.

 

_I think we're fighting and ignoring each other...?_

 

_I'm honestly not sure. I don't even remember why I was supposed to be annoyed with him, but for some reason bitter emotions remain and I'm too tired to question them._

 

"Time to go to sleep, younger boys," Namjoon says, looking up from his phone after he checks the phone.

 

His voice is muffled and I slowly open my eyes, not quite remembering when I closed them. Jungkook just stands up quickly and goes to the room. I blink a couple times, rubbing my face and lazily move one of my arms.

 

"Can I sleep here?" I mumble, not exactly wanting to follow Jungkook into the room. That, and I'm too tired to get up.

 

"Nope, kid," Yoongi says, lightly pushing my arm so I move and he adds on, "It's time for the adults to relax. We can't talk if you're out here trying to sleep."

 

"Adults?" I question [with an amused smile, my eyes already closed again.](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/a2/d1/27/a2d127d29bcbf2ae1a6d3d602e11a3b2--lee-dongmin-tim-drake.jpg)

 

"Hey," Jin says, poking my leg to prod me awake, "Listen to your hyungs. Get up and go to sleep."

 

I groan loudly, slowly getting up and I stretch for a long time before sluggishly walking out.

 

"Goodnight!" Jimin calls after me as I walk out of the room.

 

I open the door, lazily looking around the room and I see Jungkook in his bed- his back to me. I can't tell if he's sleeping, but I decide I'm too tired to investigate it any further and I climb up into my bunk. I close my eyes, and fall asleep.

 

...

...

...

 

I am 99.985 percent sure I dream about [Suga filming a commercial for a brand of sugar](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/6b/fd/8c/6bfd8cd5263fd4a03441a7eefd69bc2b.jpg)\- _which honestly, is not a bad idea at all_ \- and when I wake up, despite Jungkook's shitty music alarm, I'm automatically in a good mood from my amazing imagination.

 

I stare at the white ceiling in front of me, the rough spots of the stucco randomly scattered before my eyes. Symbolically- this is a blank slate. A new school day. Now that I'm finally without detention and not struggling to stay awake due to the limited amount of time I had to get sleep, maybe I can start to become more established at the school and make some friends.

 

_That... and also, once I join BTS, the students of this school will certainly spread whatever opinions they have of me. I should try to make them good, so I don't give off a negative first impression and make BTS look bad._

 

I feel my chest fill up with warmth, determination, and even a little hope. I sit up, feeling more energized than I have been in weeks. Jungkook turns off the alarm and silently starts getting ready. I go down from the bunkbed and do the same. I pull on my uniform and hastily fix my hair.[ I turn my head side to side as I look in the mirror for a few moments. I raise my eyebrows in surprise.](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/28/81/b5/2881b58f08c38966011633680f8823a6.jpg)

 

_Not bad...? Maybe my eyes are optimistic today!_

  

I shrug, not wanting to ruin my probably false sense of confidence, and I turn away from the mirror. I look at the doorway, expecting Jungkook to be there waiting for me as usual.

 

He's not.

 

I feel my whole macho act stutter as I frown in confusion and glance around the room a couple times.

 

_Maybe he's crouching down or something and I missed him. Or maybe he's in the bathroom..._

 

I walk out into the hallway and pull open the bathroom door, but all I see is Yoongi.

 

I turn to walk away, groaning in-

 

_Wait._

 

_Sugar?!_

 

I freeze in my actions and slowly turn around and look back into the bathroom, since I left the door open I can clearly see in and....

 

_Yoongi is peeing. And he's mad._

 

"Ah! I'm so sorry, hyung!" I quickly tell him and run back towards the doorway and shut it for him. He obviously couldn't shut it for himself because if he moved while he was peeing he would- oh my god-

 

"Why don't you lock the doors?!" [I question, so embarrassed that I can hear my heart pounding in my ears.](https://pa1.narvii.com/6417/07772e4f538b0c25da8638804103708b8e5c261c_hq.gif)

 

"Why don't you knock?" Yoongi asks, sounding unfazed.

 

"I- busy! I have to go to school!" I quickly say and run off down the hallway, still shook from that whole incident, and I stop at the table. I frown deeply.

 

Jin looks over at me and raises his eyebrows. There's only one plate on the table.

 

"Jungkook said he had to go in early to talk with a teacher so he was talking his breakfast with him," Jin explains, observing my confused expression.

 

"Oh..." I say, and slowly sit down at the table to eat my food.

 

_Is Jungkook really angry over what happened yesterday? I mean.. I know we were doing that awkward avoiding each other thing, but I was only just annoyed with him. I thought we would be over it by the time we woke up. Then again, maybe he really is meeting with a teacher. Maybe I'm just overreacting. Right?_

 

[Jin scoffs at my reaction](https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-V-_JmBnufZY/VtOwB-b5adI/AAAAAAAAMcE/bzah6ALtrY0/s1600/nomnomnom.gif), offended, and he questions, "What? Is my presence not good enough?"

 

I look at his face, and he's staring at me with his eyes wide and his mouth open slightly. I feel a small smile tug at my lips.

 

_He's trying to lighten the mood and cheer me up. I get it._

 

I decide to play along and meekly reply, "No Jin, sorry. Your presence is really, really great."

 

He gasps, pretending to be surprised by my compliments and he waves his hand, trying to "deny" them.

 

I laugh quietly, looking down into my bowl as I shovel my food into my mouth.

 

_I should probably leave soon so I'm not late..._

 

 I look up as I finish my last bite.

 

"Thank you, hyung!" I quickly tell him with my mouth full before grabbing my bag and running out the door.

 

"Manners!" Jin calls after me, exasperated.

 

I quickly get to school and slow my run down into a walk. I catch my breath and [walk into the classroom](https://koreaboo-cdn.storage.googleapis.com/2017/03/High-School-Class-Room-650x488.jpg). Jungkook is sitting in his desk, but he seems to be intently writing something down so instead of asking him about this morning I sit down in my own desk without saying anything.

 

_I need to be focused... my plan today before- well, before I walked in on Sugar peeing and before Jungkook didn't wait to walk with me to school- was to try and be more involved in the school. I should... make friends! And join a club or two!_

 

I look around the class, searching for ideas. My ears suddenly pick up my name being mentioned and I find myself listening in on their conversation.

 

"Kai Chen is the new student, right?" I hear a girl ask in a hushed voice.

 

"Yeah, he's the one who got Jungkook into trouble," one girl adds on, not so quite this time and I force my face to remain neutral so they don't suspect that I'm spying on them.

 

_That's right. I'm a real pro._

 

"Right... poor Jungkook. I bet he was embarrassed," a third girl chimes in.

 

"He's kinda cute though..." the first girl defends, and I can feel all of their gazes turn towards me as they analyze my appearance. It takes all of my will to not look at them.

 

"He's... not bad," the second girl admits and they all seem to observe me for a second longer before turning away.

 

"I heard a lot of the kids in the school don't want anything to do with him now, though... Since he made Jungkook look bad- and Jungkook is the joy and pride of our school. We're all ARMY now," a guy adds on, leaning over to talk to them.

 

 "But they've been walking a lot together to school, too..." the third girl says, thoughtful, and continues, "So... do they know each other?"

 

The teacher walks in, drawing the conversation to a close. And my long school day begins.

 

...

...

...

 

By the time I get to the Big Hit building for training after school, my mind is spinning.

 

_So much happened today... Let me catch you guys up:_

 

_After class ended, I managed to wander the halls long enough to find this club called "tea club". All they did during that club was give you tea,[you drank it](https://pm1.narvii.com/6360/aff6ac8ab719325f0450de75bc39ea0a9513ebfb_hq.jpg), and then they talk to you about the type of tea it was._

 

_Free tea? I think yes._

 

 _So, I decided to join that. They met every Wednesday. I also got recruited by the leader of the anime club at school, since they caught me wearing my Bleach backpack, and now I am also meeting with them to watch random animes every Monday._ The leader and the members of the anime club also seemed to take a liking to me, and I guess you could say I was in their "friend group" now. I like it. They all seem to be genuine people, who like talking about a range of topics.

 

_I also managed to learn a lot more about Jungkook's high school life, too. He seemed to not pick who he was surrounded by, but he naturally had people gravitate towards him. The people around him ranged from the popular girls trying to flirt with him, to the shy, nerdy boys needing his help on schoolwork. Jungkook seemed shy, but polite to everyone who talked to him. If I didn't know any better, I would say he was the nicest boy on this planet._

 

_But I do know him better. He is the nicest boy on the planet. To everyone._

 

_Except for me. So what am I doing wrong?_

 

_...Sidetracked._

 

 _I also learned that[he is in a club for photography, and he takes artistic pictures as well as ones for the school newspaper](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CrtywIWW8AAZo4B.jpg). I also heard he likes playing sports for the school very often and is one of the best art students here._ _I can seriously see why people call him the Golden Maknae._

 

With all of this out of the way, I would say today was a pretty successful school day. Despite the rumors that are going around the school about Jungkook and I, everything seems to be going well... for now.

 

Today is March 18th. On April 6th, the world will know about BTS' comeback. Then, teaser videos and concept photos will slowly start to be released. This instance will be the first time the public gets hinted to about an eighth member. Then, on April 29th the album along with I NEED U will be dropped. 

 

To put it shortly, I have a lot of work to do.

 

The boys have slowly been recording their parts for the songs and have even started shooting for the music video months ago. Many of them have also gotten all of their concept photos done. Currently, all of the members are mostly finishing up their content. I, on the other hand, have to do all of this and make sure that it is absolute perfection so the fans have no real reason to backlash against my addition.

 

Today, I am beginning to film my shoot for the I NEED U MV. Bang PD told me to meet him in his office before we began the shoot so he could debrief me on it-  _yes, like a spy mission_ \- and that is what has brought us here, to the Big Hit building. I skip quietly down the hallway, humming currently _Just One Day._

 

_I'm so close to memorizing all of the lyrics and dance moves to their old songs... it's such a relief. In a couple more weeks, I'm sure to have them all down!_

 

I skip up to Bang PD's door and knock, still humming.

 

"Come in, Kai!" Mr. Bang calls, his voice muffled through the door and I push the door open and walk into the room.

 

"Take a seat, Kai," Bang PD states, gesturing to the empty chair beside the other guest that is in his office.

 

"Thank you, si-" I start, but I stop in shock as I see the other person sitting in the room.

 

[I freeze, my smile faltering](https://img.kpopmap.com/2018/05/cha-eunwoo-c-live-funny-COVER.gif) as I see just who exactly is sitting in the chair.

 

_Is it too late to leave...?_

 

"Hey, Kai," the person in front of me says. I stare at them in shocked silence.

 

_What is the meaning of this?_

 

I glance at Bang PD, hoping for an explanation, he just looks at me, unfazed and he smiles. He gestures towards the third chair again, a little more pointedly.

 

I slowly sit in the chair, my heart racing and my mind spinning.

 

_Seriously... what in the world is going on? And why is Bang PD so calm about this?_

 

"You're not going to say hi back?" the person asks.

 

_Shit. Shoot-_

 

I scramble to find words to say, and when I finally do I quickly reach out and grab onto them. 

 

I take a deep breath- and then let the words go.

 

"Hello, father."

 

\---


	19. My First MV Recording was a "Smash Hit"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I skip up to Bang PD's door and knock, still humming.
> 
> "Come in, Kai!" Mr. Bang calls, his voice muffled through the door and I push the door open and walk into the room.
> 
> "Take a seat, Kai," Bang PD states, gesturing to the empty chair beside the other guest that is in his office.
> 
> "Thank you, si-" I start, but I stop in shock as I see the other person sitting in the room.
> 
> I freeze, my smile faltering as I see just who exactly is sitting in the chair.
> 
> Is it too late to leave...?
> 
> "Hey, Kai," the person in front of me says. I stare at them in shocked silence.
> 
> What is the meaning of this?
> 
> I glance at Bang PD, hoping for an explanation, he just looks at me, unfazed and he smiles. He gestures towards the third chair again, a little more pointedly.
> 
> I slowly sit in the chair, my heart racing and my mind spinning.
> 
> Seriously... what in the world is going on? And why is Bang PD so calm about this?
> 
> "You're not going to say hi back?" the person asks.
> 
> Shit. Shoot-
> 
> I scramble to find words to say, and when I finally do I quickly reach out and grab onto them. 
> 
> I take a deep breath- and then let the words go.
> 
> "Hello, father."

**CHAPTER NINETEEN: My First MV was a "Smash Hit":**

I gulp and take a deep breath, sitting up straight in my chair. I don't dare say anything. I would rather wait to be talked to so it doesn't look like I'm being disrespectful.

 

"I missed you, Kai," my father says, looking at me.

 

I force myself to meet his gaze and [give a small smile, nodding my head.](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/9d/8f/2a/9d8f2a6553e115649d2fc561ccb25bfc.jpg)

 

"Thank you, sir. I missed you as well," I tell him quietly and my eyes glance over at Bang PD.

 

_Seriously... why the hell is he here? He would have had to fly for hours. He wouldn't just come here for no reason..._

 

My heart pounds as my mind automatically assumes the worst.

 

_Maybe he's here to take me away. Maybe we have to move to another country because he's been blacklisted again. Maybe there's something bad that happened. Maybe Bang PD has decided to kick me out of BTS and my father is here to pick me up and then promptly kill me. Maybe-_

 

"Kai, we are going to have a meeting about filming your MV, you're still doing that today, but the main reason I called you here was because I knew your dad was coming," Bang PD states and I blink a couple times, feeling slightly betrayed, but more confused than anything.

 

_First of all, calling him my "dad" sounds very strange._

 

_Also, if Bang PD knew about him coming, why didn't he tell me...? Or warn me?_

 

_Anyways, at least I know that I'm still filming the MV. Which means that I'm not kicked out of BTS._

 

_...Still, why is my father here?_

 

I shift in my seat, digging my nails into my hands. 

 

_I hate being confused. I need to get this cleared up right now._

 

"As I was telling you over the phone, I personally wanted to see how Kai Chen was doing... To make sure that everything is going to plan," my father states.

 

_That's right. The plan. It was talked about right before I left the U.S. with Bang PD:_

 

_**My father's eyes narrow- and Bang PD recognizes the word "money" and my mother's excitement and quickly adds on, "Yes, he will make a lot of money. He will debut within the next three months- and I will make sure that for the next year you will get 75% of his earnings."** _

 

_**My father is now smiling too, eyes shining with greed. I look up quickly at Bang PD. While money was not the priority, I was shocked at him making this decision for me. He ignores my gaze and continues, "I also have reserved two spots in a prestigious private school in Seoul where both Kai and Jae have spots. Jae will be set up with an apartment and Kai will live in the BTS dorms."** _

__

_**Bang PD sighs, thinking, before slowly answering, "I can pay you 500,000 dollars right now."** _

 

I grit my teeth, still feeling bad about how much Bang PD had spent on getting me in his company. I keep my eyes on Mr. Bang, looking at his face for any hints on what to do.

 

"Thank you for paying for my flight, Mr. Bang. I really appreciate it. As you know... if I'm going to be giving up my dear son, my son who is one of the breadwinners of our household, I need to see if this all is not a huge fraud. I need to see that my son will do well," my father states, moving his hand to grasp my shoulder proudly.

 

_So.... it's not only me who thinks it sounds like he's only concerned about the money, right?_

 

I stay uncomfortably still under my father's touch- a lot like a wooden plank.

 

"I understand, sir. He is your precious son! You want to make sure that he is receiving the best training so he can succeed as an idol!" Bang PD replies a kind voice, but in his eyes I can see he is criticizing my father.

 

"Yes, yes..." my father says absentmindedly, patting my back once before letting go of my shoulder and looking around the room.

 

"So, what I have planned to show you today is around the Big Hit building- and how we operate- while Kai Chen goes to film some footage for an MV that is being released next month. His shots, wardrobe, and story are all already planned out for him- he just has to record his parts. The other boys already recorded their parts months ago. This recording process for Kai will probably take only a of couple of days..." Bang PD explains, and I see my father absentmindedly picking at his thumbnail.

 

"After Kai is finished filming, you can watch him perform a song or two with the choreography. I'm not sure if the other boys will be there to perform since they all are rather busy... But you will be able to get a good idea of Kai's talents. After that, again we will go over in my office the financial agreement we have and if you have any concerns, we can discuss those..."

 

My father nods, focused now and he replies, "Thank you. That all sounds perfect."

 

He stands up from his seat, ready to go.

 

Bang PD turns in his seat, facing me and he looks at me very seriously. 

 

"Kai, I know today is your first time doing a MV shoot. I don't know much about your acting experience, but my advice to you is to use your personal emotions to connect to what you're filming. That way, your acting will be more realistic. You got it?"

 

_It feels like his expression is trying to send me a hidden message, but it's going way over my head._

 

I stare back at him blankly.

 

"Yes, Mr. Bang," I say simply. 

 

_I wouldn't dare to use my amazing sass while my father is in the room. So many missed opportunities for witty remarks, though..._

 

Mr. Bang stands up and walks out of the office, my dad behind him.

 

"So... first up we have the corporate side of Big Hit. Which is-" Mr. Bang starts to tell them before the door closes behind them and muffles their voices.

 

I relax and suddenly the room feels like it is being filled with air. [I stare at the empty desk in front of me for a couple moments, my mind reeling.](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/f8/46/c7/f846c74c15b81fd94bf2d7a8165f8231.jpg)

 

_What just... happened?_

 

_Wait- wait. I need to get to the set for the MV. It's on one of Big Hit's lots..._

 

_So... I should stand up out of my chair, right? Right._

 

I stand up, still frozen.

 

_Kai! Get a grip! If Luke Skywalker had frozen up in front of his father Darth Vader he would have gotten a lightsaber through the chest!_

 

_Do you want a lightsaber through your chest?!_

 

"No," I grumble under my breath before I force myself to move towards the door and pull it open, I walk down the hallway, heading towards the lots.

 

_I try to mentally remind myself about where we are in my debut process, just so I can get my bearings._

 

_Is this also my way of reminding readers what date it is so we all aren't confused?_

 

_Yes._

 

_Do I do it a lot?_

 

_Yes, but let's be real here. Everyone appreciates it._

 

 _As I said before, today is March 18th. This morning Jungkook didn't walk with me to school and I walked in on Sugar in the bathroom. I then had gone to school- finally without any detention- and joined the Tea Club and the Anime Club. I made a couple friends and then the school day ended._ _After that, I went back to Big Hit to meet Bang PD to shoot our MV, since it is being released along with the album on April 29th. The comeback itself is being teased on April 6th- which means concept photos and at least teasers of the MV need to be ready. So far, the other boys have finished most of their filming, concept photos, and recording. They obviously have to reshoot some of the group ones with me... which I know at least Kook wasn't too thrilled about. While Bang PD at least has my concept and lines down since he told the writers to prepare for an 8th member just in case, I still need to play catch up and actually film and record all of those parts. In short, it is crunch time for me._

 

_Which is why I need to focus. I need to try and put the best quality forward- in a short amount of time. I need a good first impression._

 

I make it to the lots- finding lot 5, the one Namjoon told me to go to- and I walk in. Automatically, employees and designers surround me. They start messing with my hair, holding up clothes against my body to get a good idea of the size needed. I blink, my eyes wide. The girl who had first dressed me up and put me in makeup for my audition gets in my view and starts talking to me.

 

_I guess we're really jumping right into this..._

 

"Kai, you're going to have two different looks for the MV. One when you're with the boys, which will be many layers- for the cold- but still some other colors besides for grey and black. When you're away from the boys, it will be layered and black. The overall tone for I NEED U is sad- so get ready for that. As you've probably been told before, there is an entire story within Bangtan's music videos. Of course, Bang PD does not want me to tell you..." she says as she absentmindedly fixes a stray piece of my hair, her eyes focused like she's trying to create a piece of art.

 

My eyes narrow slightly as I get pulled over to the clothing rack, some of the makeup and hair artists letting go of me so they can go get the right supplies.

 

"What do you mean, of course Bang PD does not want you to tell me?" I ask and the girl laughs nervously.

 

"He was sure you would let something split about it or spoil it. He says you're really bad at keeping things secret or lying," the girl chats to me and I automatically pull a grumpy face.

 

_I'm a spy! I'm incredibly good at both of those things!_

 

_..._

_…_

_…_

 

_What's so bad about wanting to always be honest anyways?! Huh?_

 

_It's a good virtue to have. Yeah._

 

The girl hands me a pile of clothes, all black and earth tones. I look down at them, raising my eyebrows.

 

"We cannot film with the boys today, since they have busy schedules, but we're going to do your individual shots. It shouldn't take too long... depending on how well you do. I think you'll do great, Kai," she encourages me and then waves me off to the dressing room. Once I get into the room, I take a deep breath and look around it. It's fairly small, with one mirror and photos taped on the wall. I walk closer- and it's pictures of BTS for this shoot. Their concept photos. I walk closer, squinting to get a better look. I raise my eyes, stunned by how... cool, for lack of a better word, the concept photos were. They each had a somewhat sad tone to them- but they were so visually pleasing and pretty.

 

_Am I really going to get photos of myself to look even half as good as these?_

 

My eyes scan across the pictures. There seems to be four different versions of their photos, amongst the ones that are the [behind the scenes photos](https://farm6.staticflickr.com/5752/21524024348_ddc434fd13_o.jpg) and [the group ones with all of the boys in them](https://www.dramafever.com/st/news/images/545d7c7b-d205-4c4b-8039-38e6b2ac0b4b.jpg). I just focus on the last two groups- since those photos are of the general color and vibe that my clothes are right now. I tug off my clothes and slowly change, eyes still on the pictures.

 

My eyes settle on one of the individual ones and I frown deeply, feeling myself freeze up. My hand reflexively reaches and tears one of the photos off of the wall. I bring it up close to my face.

 

The photo stuns me. I believe it's of Hoseok. He has a pill bottle in his hand. I stare at the photo for a couple seconds, deep in thought.

 

_Is the MV this kind of dark...? I never took BTS to be a band that chases these kinds of concepts. Not that I was complaining... It was good for a K-pop band to finally be addressing these issues..._

 

_I guess I just misjudged them a tad. I knew they were all stressed out from being idols and had their own small struggles going on, but maybe they understood more than I thought... They've already been way more down to earth than I expected them to be. I love them all very much... so I hope this music video wasn't too close to their own hearts._

 

I awkwardly put the photo back on the wall, lamely pressing the ripped tape down. It curls up a little, but manages to stay put. I sigh in relief and finish pulling on my clothes. [I turn and look at myself in the mirror and blink.](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/ac/e9/60/ace960e285021dfa8c2e7ba14a14e45a.jpg)  **(A/N: Kai obviously is not this "built" in the story. He is only 17 so he is more skinny and less muscled. He obviously still has some muscles, but imagine him more boyish-looking.)**

 

My clothes match their theme well... I take a deep breath and walk out and two employees automatically grab my arms and pulling me into a chair. Light brushes and sponges make their way across my face and my hair is tugged at gently. I close my eyes, letting them do their work. I'm lightly tapped on the shoulder when they're done.

 

_If I had kept my eyes open, I definitely would have jumped a meter if they came at me with eyeliner or something. I kept my eyes closed so I would be blissfully ignorant of pointy things near my eye._

 

I open my eyes, seeing [myself again. ](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/ab/2f/f8/ab2ff8da17a9411ae172a93b82509809.jpg)They made my hair wet and close to my face, a little messy and my face was left pretty bare except for the fact that my eyes were made darker and my lips were made a little more pale. I definitely look more serious than usual. They then add on a few props- giving me [a necklace](https://media.blingjewelry.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/1200x/040ec09b1e35df139433887a97daa66f/s/i/silver-necklace-antique-holy-cross_pmr-p12689-az_1.jpg), [a beanie](https://images1.qualitylogoproducts.com/custom-hats/knit-pom-beanie-with-cuff-superextralarge-382235.jpg), and some [bracelets](https://www.brighton.com/content/brighton-leather-bracelet.jpg).

 

I look at my necklace and smile quietly at it, playing with it briefly.

 

_Nice! It's jesus, my homie._

 

_In America, I went to church a couple times and I guess I... didn't hate it?_

 

 _Plus, h_ _i_ _m_ _walking on water is insanely cool. You have to at least admit that._

 

All of the makeup artists nod at each other in approval and let me go. I stand up and walk over to where a couple employees are talking in front of a camera. There are a few different sets set up in different areas. I know most of the group ones have to be reshot offsite, but right now all of my individual ones can be filmed within this lot. One of the guys- he must be the director, he looks pretty official with a lot of technical equipment on his hips and his head- turns to me and hands me a script.[ I read over it briefly](https://www.syndicasian.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Astro-Cha-Eunwoo-Member-Profile-and-Facts.jpg)\- it lists the concept of my character and the different scenes that I am going to have to shoot:

 

** Quick Desc:  **

**Kai Chen, Aged 17, the baby of the group. he epitomizes the youth being corrupted. wanting to hold onto his innocence... much like Taehyung's character, both are having youth get ripped away from them.**

 

**Wardrobe: **

**Dark clothes, green jacket, sleeves rolled up. black bracelets that look more like a rope- emphasizes feeling of being stuck. hair should be messy and short. beanie with a pompom on the top to bring out childhood innocence. His shoes are black converse.**

 

 **Role: Kai Chen is the one that all of the boys baby and shield from seeing certain things. they want to protect him from harsh reality, but Kai definitely seems to notice something is up. When Kai is not hanging out with the boys, he is being controlled by his father- again, also like Taehyung. The two will have a pairing this era and theme with Namjoon. His father is consistently pulling Kai away from the younger joys of his life and forcing him to grow up fast.** ****

I blink very, very slowly and reread the phrase that made me want to rip the paper in half.

 

_He is being controlled by his father._

 

I quietly cuss under my breath as my mind suddenly remembers something that happened a mere hour or two ago.

 

_**...** _

_**...** _

_**...** _

 

_**Bang PD turns in his seat, facing me and he looks at me very seriously.** _

 

_**"Kai, I know today is your first time doing a MV shoot. I don't know much about your acting experience, but my advice to you is to use your personal emotions to connect to what you're filming. That way, your acting will be more realistic. You got it?"** _

 

...

...

...

 

 _Bang PD- he planned all of this shit out. No wonder he didn't tell me my father was coming, he wanted me to have the raw emotions that he knows I hold against my father._ So I could use it now.

 

I slowly hold the paper tighter so it crinkles under my grip. 

 

_Well, mission accomplished._

 

My eyes continue to trail down the page as I grit my teeth in frustration.

 

**Scenes to Shoot:**

 

 **1.) Aesthetic ones in the street and in room. walking home alone LATE. Close ups of face- with mask and hidden by the shade. Only glimpses of it should be available. Him working late, in a convivence store- trying to work and pull together money. Then, when he's at home,** **calculating how to buy food and pay basic bills over his actual work. (ON SITE) SHOOT #1**

 

**2.) Yelling and pushing against walls closing in. (ON SITE) SHOOT #1**

 

 **3.) Staring while being yelled at in ear. earbuds being cut off to block it out, video games being broken (ON SITE) SHOOT #2, WITH EXTRA ACTING AS FATHER.** ****

**4.) Bracelets on arm slowly turning into binds. (ON SITE) SHOOT #2**

 

 **5** **.) Group shots with boys, covering Kai's eyes, ears, etc. small gestures of protection to foreshadow concept. (SOME ON SITE, SOME OFF. FILM ON SHOOT #2 WITH THE BOYS POST INDUVIDUAL SHOTS BEING DONE)**

 

I squint, now highly suspicious of Bang PD.

 

_This is very close to my actual life, minus a few details. Where the hell did he get this information? Did he just naturally figure it out from only visiting once? And from bumping into me on the street back from work?_

 

_I guess... Bang PD isn't the owner of a very successful company for no reason. He's more smart than he looks. Most of the time._

 

_Either way... while these shoots definitely are not bringing up the best memories for me, they seem like good concepts. And if they could help someone, I'm willing to relive them._

 

I hand the paper back to the director and [give him a thumbs-up as I smile awkwardly.](https://koreaboo-cdn.storage.googleapis.com/2016/07/Cmh6CBlUcAEcdb8.jpg)

 

"Sounds like a plan, man..." I say slowly, hoping to encourage him and the director just smiles painfully back at me.

 

"Great..." he says slowly, automatically turning away to look back at the camera man. They both talk to each other for a few moments before turning to me- and they then lead me in front of the camera. The set is very simple. It's a dark room.  The walls are painted baby blue- but are smeared in dirt and soot in some places. There is a wooden desk with a black office chair I am sitting at. I am supposed to be calculating the cost of food and house bills over my math homework. [I grab a pencil, eyes focusing](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/94/cd/92/94cd925480714b6933ec5f44dbad8419.jpg) on the paper. I automatically start writing out the costs that I actually usually do to calculate my budget. There is a lamp desk that shines a light across my face and on the paper in the dark room.

 

One camera is filming a close up of my face, while one more films me from above and finally one from the side. The director told me they film from different angles so they can eventually put it together to have people feel like they're actually in the room. He also said that some angles just... fit better than others.

 

_Filmography... is so confusing. I give them so much credit._

 

"Cut!" the director yells, and then he walks over to me. "Okay, good. Now this time make sure that your face conveys a bit of stress, or worry. Not over the top, but it should be obvious to the audience..."

 

I nod slowly, trying to comprehend what he said and apply it to my acting.

 

"Okay! Let's go again!" he exclaims, clapping his hands.

 

I shift in my seat, grabbing a blank piece of paper and throwing aside the one I had just written on.

 

_Here we go again..._

 

...

...

...

 

Two hours later, the director ends the shoot early. He insists it's because it's my first shoot and he doesn't want to go that hard on me- but I think it's actually cause we finished all of the scenes we needed to!

 

I bite my lip as I try not to grin. I walked down the hallway, slowly headed back to the dorms.

 

_Am I allowed to be this cocky...?_

 

I grin unsuccessfully, my ego soaring high in the clouds.

 

_Since they were mostly things that I was used to doing, acting out the emotions came naturally to me.  We just filmed a couple shots of me in the room and then I had to stand in the middle of this green screen room and yell and scream._

 

_I literally looked like one of those mimes who have to push against invisible walls! It was amazing. I just imagined my dog getting hurt- and that was all of the motivation I needed to yell and look frantic to leave. Besides, Bang PD is always telling me to stop being so loud. Being able to scream at the top of my lungs was almost like revenge for me._

 

_I guess when it is finished being edited, it will look like I have walls closing in on me._

 

_...The power of editing will forever amaze me and scare me._

 

I get to our dorm and pull open the door and walk in.

 

"Kai!" my father says and I nearly jump a foot in the air, the grin sliding right off of my face.

 

_Damn it, father! You're going to make us look bad. We're using you as the cliffhanger two times in a row?!_

 

[Six boys nervously look over at me](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/LtJPyh4TWEI/maxresdefault.jpg). They've all apparently hastily stood up from relaxing on the couch to say hello Bang PD and my dad- judging from their frantic appearance- and Jimin smiles very slightly and waves at me.

 

"Kai, I was just introducing your dad to the rest of the members of BTS," Bang PD says kindly and he asks, "How did your shoot go?"

 

I shrug, not wanting to talk much and then I pause as I remember that my dad is watching.

 

"Uh... it went well, sir, thank you," I tell Bang PD and all of the boys stare at me, confused.

 

Jungkook raises his eyebrows as the other boys frown.

 

_I have never been so polite with Bang PD in my entire life. All of the boys know this. They're probably stunned by my sudden change in behavior._

 

My father goes around and shakes all of the members hands. That is, until he gets to Yoongi who is standing at the end. My father reaches out to grasp his hand-

 

and Yoongi pulls it away.

 

I try not to choke as I bust into a nervous coughing fit.

 

_What the hell is he doing?!_

 

My father automatically turns mad, his fragile persona of being just a serious guy shattered in a matter of seconds.

 

"Hey, what do you think you're doing, punk?" my father automatically questions, in his face and [Yoongi just blandly stares back at the other.](https://66.media.tumblr.com/41413881f3222c7f605438a38f30b41f/tumblr_o338ddudHv1uwtwcco1_500.gif)

 

"I don't know you, sir," he replies to the other honestly, unfazed and I stare at him bewildered.

 

_What on earth is going on inside of his head...? Why can't he just shake his hand? I haven't mentioned anything about my family- so why is Yoongi acting like this?_

 

_He's going to get me killed..._

 

Jungkook frowns, slowly pulling Yoongi away from my father.

 

"Let's just calm things down, shall we..?" Jin lightly suggests, smiling.

 

Namjoon claps and smiles, agreeing, "Yes. Let's do that."

 

The rest of the members of BTS nod their heads vigorously, all of them sharing nervous expressions. Yoongi nods slightly.

 

My father just huffs deeply, but also nods. 

 

_All is going well, I think. Everyone is calming down... crisis aver-_

 

Yoongi silently rolls his eyes, clenching his jaw.

 

The peace doesn't even last for a second- and suddenly my dad is flying at, yes, Sugar.

 

_My dad destroys everything important to me._

 

_Will I let him try to destroy this? Like I've let him destroy everything else?_

 

Everything seems to be going in slow motion. I'm frozen.

 

_Do I reach out and stop my dad?_

 

_Do I stop letting him control me?_

 

…


	20. Blood, Sweat, and NO Tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What on earth is going on inside of his head...? Why can't he just shake his hand? I haven't mentioned anything about my family- so why is Yoongi acting like this? 
> 
> He's going to get me killed... 
> 
> Jungkook frowns, slowly pulling Yoongi away from my father.
> 
> "Let's just calm things down, shall we..?" Jin lightly suggests, smiling.
> 
> Namjoon claps and smiles, agreeing, "Yes. Let's do that."
> 
> The rest of the members of BTS nod their heads vigorously, all of them sharing nervous expressions. Yoongi nods slightly.
> 
> My father just huffs deeply, but also nods. 
> 
> All is going well, I think. Everyone is calming down... crisis aver- 
> 
> Yoongi silently rolls his eyes, clenching his jaw.
> 
> The peace doesn't even last for a second- and suddenly my dad is flying at, yes, Sugar.
> 
> My dad destroys everything important to me. 
> 
> Will I let him try to destroy this? Like I've let him destroy everything else? 
> 
> Everything seems to be going in slow motion. I'm frozen.
> 
> Do I reach out and stop my dad? 
> 
> Do I stop letting him control me?

**CHAPTER 20: Blood, Sweat, and NO Tears:**

A fast blur of motion goes past my eyes as my dad lunges at Sugar. The whole room busts into chaos. There are a couple yells of alarm- some of the boys frozen from the sudden fear and some of them slowly moving. My adrenaline causes me to quickly shove myself into my dad and both of our bodies fall into a heap on the floor.

 

I'm in a tangle of limbs- which move quickly and hard to get out from under me. I feel a lose arm connect with my face, but I still try to pin down my father underneath me who is fighting hard to get up and beat the shit out of Yoongi. Unfortunately, I am still not the most muscled from my training and I struggle to keep him still. My arms are long, skinny, and awkward. My grip isn't the most effective. Again... I'm only seventeen. I'm still growing.

 

...and yet I'm holding my dad back from fighting someone right now.

 

_So I don't have a choice. It's time to grow up._

 

_This is all ironically just like my role in the music video- how I'm being forced to lose my innocence so fast._

 

_I said this before when I was reading the script, but now I can definitely confirm that having my dad here while filming was intentional._

 

_Bang PD is such an asshole. He knew what he was doing._

 

My arms shake with the effort to hold my father down- but in his rage, he is unable to calm down and effectively break from my grip for a few moments. These few moments buy enough time to get security in here and they rush in. Since they are unknowing of the situation, one roughly rips me off of my father and [I let them hold me](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/80/91/da/8091da92d7bfcbb40068e7ddeaa0b55d.jpg) as the two other guards that came in crowd around my father on the floor.

 

"Get off of him," [Jin says sharply and grabs my sweatshirt sleeve.](https://d.wattpad.com/story_parts/162124709/images/13fe6483adf5fcc5.jpg)

 

The guard holding me turns to yell, but when he sees who it is that is grabbing at me he automatically lets go.

 

Jin pulls me against his body and puts an arm around me protectively. We both look at the scene develop around us.

 

My dad is cussing loudly, fighting with the guards as they slowly try pulling him out of the room to where I assume is a room where they will calm him down and figure out what to do. Namjoon and Hoseok are right in front of Yoongi, whose eyes are flaming as he breathes heavily. Namjoon is speaking to Yoongi in a low voice as Hoseok rubs his arm. Taehyung and Jimin are standing slightly behind them as they talk, stunned and nervous. They both look pale and nervous. Jungkook doesn't look much better off from them.

 

I squeeze my eyes shut, unavoidably feeling a wave of embarrassment and shame. I don't open my eyes again until my father is finally out of the room and the door is shut. It is now dead silent and the atmosphere in the room is heavy. Jin stays with his arms around me, but I feel his muscles get tense from the awkwardness. I refuse to open my eyes and just snort quietly in bitter laughter, shaking my head. I feel giddy with anger, frustration, anxiety, sadness, confusion- all of it. It's all so dumb, [the only thing left to do is laugh. ](https://66.media.tumblr.com/5f604c534a128c0b4961dec3bb63b89b/tumblr_onkxvqelAc1t5kw2eo5_400.gif)

 

_Laughing is what's always left for me to do._

 

"Kai..." Hoseok says slowly, sensing me becoming worked up.

 

_Since I had first gotten here, the boys had never treated me any different. I tried my best to prove that I was strong- that I could hold my own. I tried my best to completely leave my past behind me. I wanted to be the one who made things easier for them._

 

_And now... I make everything harder. All I hear and feel from them is pity and worry... and that's the last thing that I want. I wanted to hold my own in Bangtan, pull my own weight and not burden them. Lately, all I have been doing is causing issues._

 

_That is why I have to get out of here. So I don't break down and have them coddle me again._

 

 _Yes, I'm doing it! I'm finally going to fucking do it!_ _A_ _very typical and frustrating OC action!_

 

_That's right! I said it!_

 

 _I_ ' _m going to be a basic original character this time around. Take that, world!_

 

_Because... I'm just too damn tired right now._

 

Ipull myself out of Jin's embrace and walk out of the room, quickly shutting the door behind me. I ignore the voices calling me as I quickly maneuver down the twists and turns of the hallway- trying to get myself lost and isolated somewhere in the middle of this big maze of a company. Once I'm satisfied enough that one of the boys won't stumble across me, I stop walking and lean against the wall. I close my eyes again for a moment, trying to gather my bearings.

 

_Are we cringing yet from me running away instead of talking things out like a normal person?_

 

_Are we cringing yet from me wanting to be all "strong" and hide my emotions?_

 

_Why do I feel like I'm in a bad playthrough of Bandersnatch right now? Someone made a bad decision for me. I don't want to walk away._

 

_But yet I do. I'm overwhelmed._

 

I take a deep breath, going back over the past hour of insanity.

 

_My father came to Big Hit, to check on "me". In short, he came to check on his money. He was probably encouraged to come by Bang PD, who knew that he would get the emotional response from me he needed for the music video._

 

_When he met BTS, Yoongi refused to shake his hand._

 

_Met with disrespect, my dad responded by attempting to beat the shit out of him._

 

_My dad is psycho, but this is not his usual reaction- especially not to strangers. And especially especially not to strangers that are giving him money._

 

I try focusing on what happened, seeing if I missed any details that caused him to act that way.

 

For some reason, the familiar scent of alcohol fills my nose as I try to focus on my memories of the recent events. I quietly cuss.

 

_My dad must have just gotten off of his flight. He drinks a lot in order to calm his nerves. When he drinks, he no longer has the ability to properly hold back his true personality around strangers and those he wants to impress._

 

_That must have been what happened._

 

_The only question mark left is... why did Sugar not I shake his hand? What lead him to do that action that provoked my father?_

 

I open my eyes again and quietly hit the back of my head against the wall, squinting slightly. I silently will myself to think.

 

_Come on Kai. Come on-_

 

[I sigh deeply](https://66.media.tumblr.com/e861fda65eb19cc83e4c3c0b06135cad/tumblr_ntvp3ytb7Y1ubtxcpo5_r1_500.gif) as I come to the conclusion that the only solution here is to directly ask Yoongi why he did not shake my father's hand. Which means returning after I awkwardly ran off. I pinch the bridge of my nose.

 

_God damn it, Kai. Way to turn this into some shitty c-list K-drama._

 

_To begin to work this out, I have to ask Yoongi why he didn't shake my father's hand. I should've done that in the first place instead of walking off, obviously._

 

I pause my thinking and frown deeply as I tilt my head.

 

_If this is a k-drama... what kind of love triangle am I in?_

 

I lightly hit my face- now is not the time to have random thoughts- and I start slowly walking back.

 

_It would be with Jungkook. It's always the asshole guy and the really nice guy... like Hobi or Taehyung. They would be the second leads. But Jungkook would be the guy I'm in love with even though he's a jerk. Because... that's how k-dramas work._

 

I near closer to the door and just as I am about to pull it open, it swings open instead. Right there is Jimin and Jin- who stare at me with wide eyes.

 

"Kai!" Jimin exclaims and Jin stares at me, confused.

 

"Hey, we were just about to go looking for you, kiddo..." Jin says gently and warily puts a hand on my shoulder.

 

I decide to let him. I've had enough of being an edgy protagonist for the day.

 

Jin smiles reassuringly, raising his eyebrows for a second to address me and the rest of the boys push past Jimin and Jin and gather around me. Jungkook stares at me warily, no longer with a pissed off look- which was typical of him these days. Yoongi's expression is unreadable. Jin smiles creepily at Yoongi and nods his head ever so slightly towards me. [Yoongi stays still, crossing his arms.](https://66.media.tumblr.com/395da3e1da8f008e57e8416037ed82a7/tumblr_n2owy3oxiz1tw2446o4_r1_500.gif)

 

"Yoongi, apologize," Jin states and I blink a couple times, confused.

 

_It was definitely not Yoongi's fault. My da-_

 

"Hell no," he retorts and all of the boys gasp a bit at Yoongi's attitude. He was never like that towards Jin or any of the hyung line.

 

J[in gives Yoongi a surprised and slightly irritated look, but he doesn't say anything](https://media.giphy.com/media/kFZc34VOkjrwI/giphy.gif). He understands Yoongi must be a little worked up after my father basically tried to beat him up. Also... Yoongi was never the one to do anything without reason. He was always intentional. There must have been a good reason why he did what he did. Yoongi sighed deeply after Jin just silently looks down and grits his teeth in irritation. [Taehyung](https://78.media.tumblr.com/43aa89800d8fbe5c78a2cef06213a495/tumblr_obndzfiGmh1skako7o1_400.gif) glances at [Hobi](https://66.media.tumblr.com/6efc1bbd81d2e87eaa9ed02c6d35beaa/tumblr_nahrnmE6rj1suxfalo1_500.gif) and [Jimin](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CoCEOcaUMAAvgdw.jpg)\- who all reflect worried looks. They hate when there is conflict within the group. It makes them terribly anxious. It makes me anxious, too.

 

"I'm sorry, hyung. I'm not angry with you... It's just... I recognized from day one there was something off with Kai's parents and his father showing up here just proved even more my suspicions. I couldn't... bring myself to shake his hand. It was clear Kai was uncomfortable. I didn't want to play stupid with Kai's dad. I wanted to prove a point," Yoongi explains quickly.

 

Everyone seems to perk up slightly in interest as Yoongi explains his reasoning and they all turn to look back at me. I shift under their gazes.

 

_They were like laser beams... attractive laser beams... two times as powerful. Not fair._

 

 "Well... yeah... my father is uh, not the best," I say shortly, not wanting to openly bad mouth him. He still is my father. Not my dad, but...

 

"Not the best is an understatement. Kai barely had any clothes coming here, he was scared as soon as his dad entered into the room, he called Bang PD sir- I mean, sir! Come on! When has Kai ever been respectful in his life?" Yoongi rants, eyes flaming as he makes a bunch of hand gestures.

 

Everyone stares at him with wide eyes, bewildered. I guess he very rarely had outbursts like this.

 

_Wait- did he just insinuate I am disrespectful?_

 

My face screws up as I open my mouth to retort, but Yoongi continued to talk.

 

"Plus! I overheard them talking in Bang PD's office. His father is practically taking all of the money Kai earns... and Kai has been working so hard... It just pissed me off... and you know- my parents have never been supportive of me being an idol... Kai's father isn't either... It just, I felt an emotional connection- you know? Seeing another parent who isn't supportive of being an idol... I just..." Yoongi grumbles, kicking the floor.

 

Immediately, all of the members turn to look at Yoongi with [puppy eyes.](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/da/be/9c/dabe9c0c534c2735912d0079dc7f26ec--bts-instagram-taehyung-selca.jpg) I found myself doing it, too.

 

_Poor Sugar..._

 

He automatically glares back at all of us and waves his arms around to snap us all out of it.

 

"Stop it! I'm fine with it! I was just saying I could relate to it..." he huffs, crossing his arms.

 

We continue to stare at him.

 

"I said stop it, damn it!"

 

[We all suddenly lean in for a group hug](https://media1.tenor.com/images/d070996cb18ba3aebebd483b4912ecfd/tenor.gif?itemid=8516942). I don't think it was Yoongi who only needed it, or me. It was everyone. 

 

_God... look at these guys... being all sentimental. I'm never like that. I'm a man's man-_

 

I scoff, rolling my eyes and all of the sudden my eyes betray me and start sweating.

 

_Ah shit-_

 

Jimin was the first one who noticed my eyes sweating and confused it with crying- the fool- and called attention to it.

 

"Kai, are you okay?" he asks- which again causes the full force of seven beautiful gazes to be directed towards me.

 

I feel my face burn with emotion as I wipe my sleeve and I lean over as everyone breaks out of the group hug and starts cooing.

 

[I start dodging hugs left and right as my face continues to bur](http://i.giphy.com/xT8qB97oQWZrn9bTDq.gif)n. Everyone continues to coo fondly.

 

"Ahhh, come here, kid," Jin says as he finally forces me into a hug and I feel Taehyung latch onto my back like some kind of koala human hybrid.

 

I continue to feel tears- I mean, sweat- drip down my cheeks as I meet Yoongi's gaze over Jin's shoulder. He raises his eyebrows at me, in a mix of worry and amusement.

 

"It's happy tears," I explain sheepishly, face red and it causes all of the boys to erupt into coos and exclamations again and I groan and bury my face into Jin's shoulder.

 

_Assholes... every single one of you._

 

"His ears are so red!" Hoseok exclaims, smiling brightly and it causes everyone to laugh again.

 

"How cute~," Namjoon- yes, even Namjoon- teases and I just huff quietly, not trusting myself to have a witty comeback at a time like this. I just keep my face buried in Jin's shirt.

 

Jin shoots Yoongi an amused, yet strained smile as I proceed to stain his shirt. It causes even Jungkook to grin this time as he realizes Jin is going to have an interesting time washing out my snot and salty tears from the fabric.

 

_For the seven boys of Bangtan... I am so grateful._

 

...

...

…

 

After that emotional moment we all shared, we returned to the dorms. We all passed out pretty early, exhausted, and continued our schedules the next day. I finished filming for the I NEED U MV, my dad was sent home, and time went on.

 

_Now, here is the time where I remind you lovely people about what is going on._

_I totally know what you're thinking._

 

_Kai, how could we possibly be confused! It's the same day... we /just/ talked to each other... Of course I remember everything that has happened! You don't need to summarize for me!_

 

_Haha... hahahaha..._

 

_So, let me summarize._

 

 _It is now March 21st. It is three days after my dad tried to beat up Yoongi. The same day Yoongi almost got beaten up is the day where I started filming the MV for I NEED U. The concept for my music video was a child who had to lose his innocence too soon. Bang PD was a little shit and decided the best way to pull those emotions out of me for filming was by having my father actually show up- which we all know did not end well. So far, I have been studying hard to learn the old songs and choreography as well as the new ones. I work out every day because the trainer has concluded I am out of shape. I have insisted I am in the shape of a circle. It gets me nowhere. The same day I filmed the MV and Yoongi got beaten up Jungkook did not walk with me to school and left early. It was after we had a fight on our last day of detention. I was so tired I was finally harsh back to him... and now he isn't too happy with me. However, after the whole "my dad is an asshole" scenario, Jungkook has been being slightly more kind to me. It's still pretty awkward though._ _Also I am still going to school, unfortunately. And that sucks._

 

_For these past couple days, we finished my scenes for the I NEED U music video and reshot the group shots with me in them. We have continued recording for the album being released on April 29th along with the I NEED U MV. The gap of days in between now and April 29th will be spent taking concept photos and finishing up song recorded. The I NEED U MV is done. April 6th is when the comeback is being teased- and when my presence will be made known. Then, in November we will go on tour. Finally together as eight._

 

_God, I need to catch my breath after that lengthy explanation. But now that we're all back aboard the Kai Chen train- let's keep moving._

 

_Choo-choo motherfuckers, here I come._

 

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the shorter update everyone!
> 
> I had been busy for a couple of reasons:
> 
> family drama  
> college applications  
> school  
> midterms  
> uh, writers block?
> 
> I realize these are all excuses... so... ehehe
> 
> I am sorry my dear readers! 
> 
> but your amazing comments helped motivate me to punch through the wall of writers block and since I finished most of my college apps, I decided to do this for all of you! I hope everyone had an amazing christmas and I wish you all the best for this New Year.
> 
> Expect another chapter coming soon. I am sorry if there is confusion since it's been a while since everyone has read Kai Chen, but I tried to get Kai to catch everyone up as best as possible. If there is still any questions or confusion, comment them and I will be happy to answer them.
> 
> Again, thanks for supporting Kai Chen!
> 
> I love you guys :,)))
> 
> -Amanda


	21. What A Headache

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is now March 21st. It is three days after my dad tried to beat up Yoongi. The same day Yoongi almost got beaten up is the day where I started filming the MV for I NEED U...
> 
> ...The same day I filmed the MV and Yoongi got beaten up Jungkook did not walk with me to school and left early. It was after we had a fight on  
> For these past couple days, we finished my scenes for the I NEED U music video and reshot the group shots with me in them. We have continued recording for the album being released on April 29th along with the I NEED U MV. The gap of days in between now and April 29th will be spent taking concept photos and finishing up song recorded. The I NEED U MV is done. April 6th is when the comeback is being teased- and when my presence will be made known. Then, in November we will go on tour. Finally together as eight. 
> 
> God, I need to catch my breath after that lengthy explanation. But now that we're all back aboard the Kai Chen train- let's keep moving. 
> 
> Choo-choo motherfuckers, here I come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!! I was confused and said the tours would start in MAY, but that would only be true if it was set in 2016. Right now it is 2015, the tour would be starting in NOVEMBER. Minor change. Nothing really. I already went back and fixed it. Much love.
> 
> <33333

**CHAPTER 21: What A Headache:**

April 5th, 2015. An interesting date.

 

_Why, you ask?_

 

_No, not because it is the day before our comeback is being teased and made known to the world._

 

_Not because it is the day before my presence becomes known to ARMY. No, no._

 

 _It was the_ _day Jeon Jungkook and I finally became friends._

 

_I know. Yes._

 

_Friends._

 

Ever since I had tackled my father and stopped him from beating the shit out of Yoongles... or well, stopped him from getting his shit beat out of him by Yoongles, Jungkook has been much nicer to me.

 

_Well, I wouldn't call it nice. More like- the absence of any negative emotions._

 

_So, void?  Unaffected?_

 

_Somewhere around there..._

 

It's a Saturday- and last Saturday we didn't have school, which unfortunately means today we do.

 

I'll catch you up to the Korean culture, since I was seriously daunted myself as I remembered we had school on the /weekends/ in Korea.

 

_The American education system was so much easier... the only thing I miss._

 

_That, and the casualness. I could call everyone "dude". Now I have to worry about hyung-this, and hyung-that. I have seven hyungs. I'm dying._

 

Every other Saturday, for half of the day, we have school.

 

_Disgusting._

 

I currently found myself standing in front of the bathroom mirror. I[ squeeze my eyes shut as I brush my teeth. ](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Creq91nVYAEEqVT.jpg:large)

 

_The florescent lights are too bright for my eyes this morning... and my eyes are too beautiful to be blinded._

 

Jin hyung had already been so generous in his offer to cook us breakfast every morning during the school week- so Jungkook and I didn't dare complain when he drew the line on waking up early to make breakfast on the weekends. Jungkook and I would take care of it.

 

Jungkook knocks loudly on the door.

 

"Kai! Stop checking yourself out in the mirror and let's go!" he teases and I slowly crack my eyes open, feeling my irritation and crankiness bubbling to the surface.

 

"Yes, of course," I reply with [strained politeness ](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/a5/bb/34/a5bb340cef799fff7eb1fdfa3c4447f2.jpg)to his teasing and angrily spit my toothpaste into the sink like some kind of dragon blowing fire.

 

I roughly rub my face with a towel and then open the door- to be met face to face with Jungkook. I jump.

 

_Jesus- why is he still standing there?_

 

"Want to walk together to the convenience store today?" he asks with [a bored face. He then seems to get embarrassed ](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/d3/37/bb/d337bbf09b2727d3532d404a4b6a6a01.jpg)as I perk up and he tries to explain his reasoning. "You know- because Jin hyung didn't make us anything. We can pick up snacks."

 

I blink a couple times, surprised by the question. And then I feel my heart swell as I smile brightly.

 

_Jungkook never wants to go anywhere with me!_

 

["Okay!" I chime ](https://66.media.tumblr.com/218f37ec252d50a7d021fb706124f91a/tumblr_o5l7usI1r11ujriauo1_400.gif)as I skip past him, my rage from moments ago completely forgotten.

 

Jungkook rolls his eyes and smiles faintly-  _I think_ \- as he walks after me.

 

_Now... before I have you freaking out any longer because of the three week time skip, let me explain._

 

_Pretty much, I continued to train and practice the lyrics and choreography. I finally- with Hoseok's help of course- became caught up on all of the older songs._

 

_As the other members have warned me, Hoseok is a tough dance teacher. But with his sunshine face... it somehow off put the grueling physical pain I had felt during the process._

 

_I studied song lyrics and dance more than I studied my homework- which accounted for my slightly lagging grades in school. Still, I was passing. And..._

 

_Well, as I have said before- I knew that joining BTS would make me incredibly lazy in school. Since I now had the chance of chasing my dreams right here and right now at Big Hit, any other work seemed just... pointless. I felt unsatisfied working on English worksheets I already understood and reading about history- when it was all just filler work stopping me from my goals._

 

_Long story short- as long as I get my diploma, all will be well. Even if I manage to barely creak by._

 

_Anyways, since I gave less time to school I gave more time to dancing and singing and working out and I found amazed with how much I could improve within three weeks of focus. I know that I have a long way to go- of course- but this is a good start. Due to my improvement, my schedule had changed as of a couple days ago._

 

_Now, I no longer had individual practice. I practiced when the rest of BTS practiced- and we worked together on the new album's choreography and singing._

 

_So, first I would wake up, then go to school, then come back and work out with the trainer while the rest of the boys were out doing celebrity things- like interviews or livestreams or photoshoots or commercials-, and then finally we would all have practice together and then go to sleep._

 

_I have grown closer to everyone, which was to be expected. I see them as best friends now. Even if we are still a little awkward. After all- I have years and years of memories and personal knowledge to catch up on to be on par with how close the other seven boys of Bangtan are with each other. But... we are all close. They treat me like a younger brother._

 

[Jin-he is always the one I go to for comfort or warmth. ](https://koreaboo-cdn.storage.googleapis.com/2017/08/Jin-flying-kiss.jpg) _He gives me the older guidance that I need... Still, he also jokes around with me a lot. I often spend time talking to him about random things... and a majority of the time it is about how attractive he is. I am the only one who will agree with him without rolling my eyes. Jin is thrilled about this. He is also the one who mostly keeps me out of trouble... I admit I tend to have a witty attitude that wants to snap back immediately when someone says something to me. However, Jin quickly managed to get me out of sassing any of the boys. Except for Jungkook. He always strikes a nerve with me. I can't hold back. I also notice... Jin tends to put on a brave face. I want to comfort him, too, eventually... Since he spends most of the time comforting and reassuring all of us with his humor and jokes and care-taking._

 

_Y[oongi- he is the one who only truly seems to understand my background completely.](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/ac/d6/87/acd6874f9c1b51bfc57d315d7dcbdfa9.jpg) While everyone else had a general idea that my childhood was pretty shitty, Yoongi somehow had a very detailed idea. However, he didn't treat me differently... which made me feel nice. But I notice he looks after me in indirect, small ways. For example, I see it in the way he always catches my gaze to check in during meetings, practices- how he subtly nods to encourage me and subtly sighs to discourage me. I see it in the way he once yelled at me to get my ass up during the one day I overslept for school... Ah. Good times. In all seriousness though, Yoongi seemed to take me seriously. And often listened to my input while when we were recording songs or working on them... He still though... reminds me of sugar. He- Sugar- has a soft side. I think sometimes he can get worn down from being tough all the time. I hope that I can one day make him relax his tough façade he works so hard to put up and nurture his soft side._

 

[Namjoon- he is one who is stopping me from flunking out of school...](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/c9/56/03/c95603e31f1433889378f89f93077b5b.png) _At the end of almost every practice, he sits with me at my desk for about an hour and helps lug me through the work and keeps me focused. Even though I complain about wanting to go downstairs to hang out with everyone else, I appreciate the time I have with Joon hyung… He is quiet, but when he speaks his words carry heavy weight and are always filled with intention. He always encourages me and gives me mini-pep talks. He really embraces the leader role- and while I work he talks about small things I need to know about being an idol, about recording a song, about recording an MV, about dealing with fans- he helps keep me sane and helps me feel productive while I do homework. Also, I have fun joking around with him in English and carrying on conversations or messing with the other members. Namjoon is truly amazing at English- and I always try to answer small questions he asks about certain words or sentence structures... He seems relieved that I am here to help speak English- but he also seems determined to continue to get better. I admire that... And I hope one day I can show him how much I and the rest of Bangtan appreciate him. I'm worried he doesn't know how much he matters sometimes._

 

[Hoseok- my little ray of sunshine... ](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/e1/46/f2/e146f2264f8b438e715a5eeafdcf5946.jpg) _yet the bane of my existence and the second main cause of my muscle soreness- right behind my trainer who likes seeing me cry for fun when I try to lift a weight with my noodle arms. Hobi is always really patient with me- and always stays after practice to help me perfect some of my dance moves. He said I was too technical- and we worked for an hour trying to help me become a more fluid and emotional dancer... He always seems to be the one whose good mood remains unfailing- no matter how tired he is. However, he seems a little self-conscious of himself... I hope to show him how amazing he is. He is a beautiful man... uh- I mean a beautiful dancer. Dancer. And I hope to show him he can be upset sometimes, too._

 

[Jimin- the fluffiest mochi in the world. ](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/c/c4/Park_Ji-min_at_Aladdin_fansign_in_September_2017_01.jpg/1200px-Park_Ji-min_at_Aladdin_fansign_in_September_2017_01.jpg) _His duality scares me. I haven't seen it in person, but when watching tapes of their past concerts during my studying- I was floored. I do not think my heart would be able to survive. However, as far as I have known him he has always been someone who has given me unconditional love and support. And cuteness. He always is there to smile and back me up and quietly interject into conversations. He is very understanding- and he and I are the ones who enjoy watching k-dramas the most. Especially the romance ones. We talk about them all the time. Since Jimin's voice and my voice are quite alike- mine being slightly deeper but being able to go up to the same high notes- he often helps me on improving my voice. He teaches me how to sing certain songs- and tells me the difference of singing while recording a song versus singing on a stage. He is so talented... all around. I aspire to be him. He works so hard, but acts like it is nothing. But... Jimin worries me with his focus on his weight. He seems to pinch his cheeks a lot and joke about it- but his jokes are dangerous to me. I think he is perfect as is. The company's enforced diets are certainly not helping with his mindset though- and Jin, Taehyung, and I all work together in sneaking extra food onto Jimin's plate when he looks away from it. We train too much to be skimping on food. Executives and higher-ups wouldn't know that. I hope to prove his perfection to him._

 

[Taehyung- the cutest tiger, I mean, taeger, on planet earth. ](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/d7/62/38/d762381dbe3856ad0f6cea8dcab0d406.jpg) _He has been the one who has helped me mesh into the group the most. He is always the first to glance around the room- with his eyes shining- to look for me so he can call me over to join whatever they're doing. Most of the time, it's random conversations. For example- one time Taehyung had called me over to join him, Jungkook, and Namjoon on arguing if aliens were real or not. Taehyung told me to back him up. He insisted that he believed they weren't real. He said that he chose not to believe in aliens so he would not have to worry about them... I told him that what he's saying sounds a lot like he believes in aliens- and he covered my mouth before I could continue. Anyways... Taehyung is always very nice, weird, and funny like that. He seems to be someone who cheers up everyone in the group, who is the first to offer a hug- or a word of advice, and everyone always argues over who gets to cuddle with Taehyung... his cuddles are legendary. Trust me. He plays video games with me- and helps be the mediator between Jungkook and I when we want to rip each other's heads off after I kick his ass multiple times in a row in a video game... It's totally not the other way around... Anyways- Taehyung always seems so carefree- but I feel like he cares a lot more than expected. I feel like he almost seems to care the most- considering he always seems to be right there for whichever member needs him and with whatever they need. I hope to be that person for Taehyung. I feel like he keeps his emotions all bottled up. He never goes to anyone for help. He's always focused on being the boxy-smiling, giggling, little goofball... he rarely shows his more serious, sad side. I hope to push him to open up more to me and the other members._

 

_[Jungkook... well, he is Jungkook.](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/e2/a7/e0/e2a7e0618e8a678459a1d5045346fe04.jpg) Occasionally, out of the corner of my eye I always see him laugh at my jokes and smile while I am talking. However, whenever I talk to him directly he suddenly gets bitter. Or whenever any of the members seem to baby me... or whenever I talk to any of the members individually at all... He confuses and annoys me to no end. Every single morning that stupid IU alarm goes off- every single day he pretends he doesn't know me when we go to school- every single night he avoids my eye contact. At first, I was enthusiastic to try and talk to Jungkook and get him to like me. However, ever since that last day of detention when Jungkook and I were cleaning in the gym and snapped at each other because we were both sleep deprived and he was just an asshole- I had given up on trying so hard. Yeah... of course I am still polite to him. But I am more indifferent now. Instead, what has formed between us is an uncomfortable, forced semi-friendship. We lived together so... we had to tolerate each other. This basically meant us being short with each other until Jungkook was suddenly a jerk and then we sassed each other to hell. _

 

... _He /really/ treated me like a younger brother. Not the romanticized version... but rather with indifference and not much coddling. I wanted to fix it, but... My awkwardness or ego always got ahead of me. We never seemed to click. He had some secret grudge against me that I could just not figure out. We still spent most of our time together, though. And I knew a lot of his habits pretty well.  Like- what he wanted to eat. What time he went to bed. How he stayed up on his cell phone for like an hour before going to sleep. How his nose crinkled when he walked into a new room- like a rabbit. How he tilted his head when he was challenged or frustrated- and he did that a lot while talking to me. How he chewed on his lips when he was upset- and yes... he also did that a lot while talking to me. I knew Jungkook well at a surface level... I just wish I knew him deeper._

 

_Oh well._

 

Anyways, I hear Jungkook close and lock the door of the dorms behind us as we walk out onto the street. I exhale and stop my excited skipping to turn around and wait briefly for Jungkook to catch up. Once he does, I turn around and walk silently by his side to the convenience store. I hear him quietly humming one of our new songs that we have been recording- and I myself nod my head slightly along to it. Jungkook and I get to the corner of the street- where the store is located and we step in, hearing the chime as we pass through the doors. I glance around as Jungkook himself breaks away from me and wanders into one of the aisles. My eyes catch the shelf right in front of me- where my eyes catch [a box of Sour Patch Kids](http://del.h-cdn.co/assets/17/31/1501620462-sour-patch.jpg).

 

_Sour... but sweet._

 

_Potentially like Yoongi. or Jungkook._

 

_Even though Jungkook is only sour to me... he's sweet to the other members._

 

_Pfft._

 

I frown slightly and pick the box up for a second- flipping it over to the back and reading the label. I've been taught lately to pay attention to what I eat- especially stuff that is high in sugar and that can make me crash in the middle of the day before training. Unfortunately, almost everything that tastes good has way too much sugar.

 

_So... I'll eat it in moderation instead..._

 

_Only one..._

 

_...box._

 

_Only one box._

 

I grin and shake the box slightly, holding it to my chest.

 

_It's probably not good for breakfast, but I've been craving it... so, so bad._

 

_This is probably my only opportunity. I haven't had sugar in like a month._

 

"Kai," Jungkook calls and I look up, glancing at where his voice came from and I see him standing at the cash register. He has a pack of instant ramen in his hands- which he'll probably fill with warm water once he gets to school.

 

_He has much more self-control than me... I'll give him that._

 

I walk over, sliding my box of Sour Patch Kids over to the cashier. Jungkook quirks an eyebrow, but doesn't question it.

 

_God bless._

 

The employee scans our items.

 

"Do you want a bag with that, sir?" the guy asks him, but Jungkook's attention is elsewhere. [His eyes are trained to his left,](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/e6/e8/53/e6e853a6b339d745242ba3c47d41d453.jpg) on a customer who is browsing on the shelfs next to the register.

 

I glance at him and laugh awkwardly when he doesn't answer- and lightly elbow him.

 

"Jungkook..." I slowly say and smile at the employee with forced politeness, repeating, "...He asked if you would like a bag."

 

Jungkook moves his hand to lightly shove my elbow away as he continues to stare and he clears his throat before turning back to the cashier and saying nonchalantly, "That customer over there is trying to steal from you, sir. He pocketed three cigarette packs already."

 

The man of the hour- rather, [the boy of the hour](https://doramalive.ru/upload/iblock/88a/jang_dong_yoon_1992_206.jpg), since he was wearing a school uniform- seems to hear Jungkook talking about him since he quickly looks up and over to us with wide eyes. He stares at Jungkook for a second, eyes turning pissed.

 

"Put them back," the employee said angrily, eyes narrowed. He was a middle-aged guy, but pretty fit and buff. He wasn't to be messed with.

 

I look up at Jungkook, my mouth dropping open slightly.

 

_He's so observant..._

 

The boy scoffs and rips the packages out of his jacket pocket. He shoves them angrily back onto the shelf, messing up the neat arrangement- and he storms out. Of course, he doesn't forget to turn out his pockets to prove they are empty so the cashier doesn't have to check himself and he bumps shoulders with Jungkook roughly. I open my mouth to say something- but Jungkook shakes his head and I sigh, stopping. Jungkook turns back to the employee, seemingly unfazed.

 

"No bag, thank you," Jungkook says politely, before handing the Sour Patch Kids to me and taking the ramen for himself. He walks out and I find myself dumbly trailing behind him.

 

_Why was that... so amazing?_

 

_Jungkook may be a jerk... but he is an admirable jerk._

 

[I stare up a him](https://daebak.tokyo/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/cha-eunwoo.jpg) as we continue to walk down the sidewalk to school. He seems to avoid my gaze.

 

_Truly the golden maknae. Always polite... except to me. And strong and helpful._

 

Jungkook clears his throat, shooting a [glare at me](https://media.tenor.com/images/5907cc76ceb19e3ae779f27a8c7d1df9/tenor.gif) at me to get me to look away. I continue to stare and blink slowly, then my brain stutters and spurs into action.

 

"Jungkook... wasn't he wearing our school uniform? He seemed pretty mad..." I warn, a hint of concern- _yes, actual concern_ \- in my voice.

 

He glances down at me, also seeming surprised by it, too. 

 

"I think so..." he admits, but then his eyes narrow as he shuts down again and replies, "Just- stop talking about it. Don't worry. I'll be fine."

 

_A weird thing I've noticed about Jungkook is that... as soon as we start to somewhat bond, he rejects it. And acts like an asshole._

 

_Strange._

 

I look down at the sidewalk and push out my bottom lip, [pouting slightly](https://koreaboo-cdn.storage.googleapis.com/2017/06/cha-eun-woo-11.jpg) as I kick my shoe into the sidewalk. I feel Jungkook's gaze on me, but I have no idea what his expression is.

 

We continue to walk in silence until we get to school.

 

I stop myself at the front gate- where Jungkook had taught me to stop. I let him walk into the classroom before I enter the school myself. I finally get into our classroom and put my backpack down, sliding into my desk. I pull out my stuff and keep my eyes trained on my notebook. I feel Jungkook's gaze on me again.

 

School moves at a slow, slow crawl. I have to bite my tongue to stop myself from sassing teachers- especially the English teacher- and by the time it is lunch my head is throbbing. I rush out into the cafeteria with my tea club friends and we all eat and get some fresh air. Then, we return to class and finish up.

 

I stretch my cramping hand and massage the muscles as I put down my pencil when the bell rings. We all assist in cleaning up the classroom- and then I meet Jungkook in our usual spot, the front gate.

 

My throbbing head from earlier has turned into a constant, uncomfortable, and dull headache. This has caused a permanent squint to form on my face- pinching my eyebrows. I trudge up to Jungkook with my face screwed up slightly and he tilts his head.

 

"You okay?" he questions in a fairly unaffected tone.

 

"Yeah. My head just hurts," I comment before we both begin walking side by side back to the dorms.

 

There's a pause of silence- where all I can hear is the blowing of the wind and the chirping of birds.

 

"Did... you want to stop by the convivence store and get Advil? So maybe it kicks in before training? It's probably because you ate sugar for the first time in forever... If you eat something your body isn't used to anymore it can react poorly. Plus that with school..." Jungkook trails off, seeming embarrassed that he had fussed over me too much. In his eyes, [I almost see a hint of frustration. Anger.](https://gifimage.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/jungkook-gif-20.gif)

 

"That sounds like a good idea..." I say simply, not bothering to be witty or tease him. He already seemed to have made himself frustrated- and my head was preventing me from having any good comebacks at the moment in the situation that we did get into an argument.

 

We walk in silence again, but this time it is tense silence. And I have no idea why.

 

_He's doing the distancing thing again. Why?_

 

_Ah- fuck it. All of this thinking about Jungkook is making my head hurt more than it already is._

 

_Enough._

 

We make it to the convenience store.

 

"I'll wait outside," Jungkook grumbles as he sits himself down into a bench.

 

I sigh and shrug, not questioning it as I walk by myself inside of the shop again. I pass by the candy and make it to the medicine, where I pick up a small bottle of the Advil pills. I walk over to the cash register and hand them to the cashier- who is no longer the buff male, but a younger lady. She quickly scans it for me and hands me the medicine while I hand her some cash out of my wallet.

 

"Thank you, have a good day," she tells me- and I step to the side to let the next customer step forward as I look down at the bottle, reading the dosage information.

 

_So, it says each tablet contains 200 mg._

 

_What's the maximum the dosage is allowed to be? 800 mg? Right?_

 

_So, if that's the case- I could take four tab-_

 

I am pulled from my intense calculations by the sounds of yelling from outside. I frown slightly in confusion for a second- and then feel my heart drop in dread as I remember that Jungkook is still sitting outside. The yelling becomes more coherent as I pay attention to it.

 

"...really that stupid to come back here?!"

 

"Drop that look, now- you K-pop piece of shit!"

 

_Shit... Shit, shit shit._

 

_They must be talking to Jungkook._

 

I quickly run out of the convenience store and look down the sidewalk- to where Jungkook was last waiting for me. The bench is now much more crowded... Jungkook is standing up and staring rather aggressively to two boys.

 

[ _They're wearing our school uniform..._ ](http://www.radiobudiluhur.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Lead-Second-Male.jpg)

 

At a slightly longer gaze, I recognize one of them as the boy that Jungkook had busted earlier today for stealing cigarettes. Jungkook continues to glare at them as they yell, but by the chewing of his lips I could tell he was nervous. He was slowly being backed into the bench- where his legs were being pushed against the edge.

 

Before I could react to any of this new information- the thief winds his arm back and socks Jungkook in the face. 

 

_Oh, hell no._

 

I inhale slightly as I break into a run again- this going down the sidewalk and making it to the bench. [My vision is now red and pulsing. ](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/37/0c/b7/370cb7d7a89143392b70749688377383.jpg)

 

_These boys better be prepared to die._

 

I drop my pill bottle as I intervene- but the noise of the scattering pills on the ground behind me is dull and the last thing on my mind.

 

I automatically launch myself at the scumbag who had just punched Jungkook and tackle him to the ground. There is the noises of us struggling and scruffling against the ground, but I quicky gain advantage and I get him pinned down against the sidewalk.

 

I straddle him as I raise my fist back, eyes unforgiving, and I move it forward to punch him twice as hard in the face as he had punched Jungkook. He squirms underneath me- trying to get up, but the sidewalk offers no purchase. His only salvation comes from his dumbass buddy- the second guy- who pulls me off of him roughly. I turn around quickly and suddenly my hand moves to catch his fist, which flew at me very quickly. I glare as I push his arm back and then kick him roughly in the... well... balls. That guy now kneels over, understandably grabbing at his crotch and I turn around quickly to look at the thief again- to see if he was deciding on getting up.

 

He was.

 

_Dumbass._

 

[I find myself laugh bitterly](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/1c/1c/4d/1c1c4dbe948c9ee6c5b992a9ab415951.jpg) as he shakily stands up again. He clenches his fists again to fight and I just swing my arm and clock him right in the jaw. His head spins to the side and he sinks down against the sidewalk again. There is some blood that drips from the guy's nose and mouth and leaks onto the sidewalk.

 

I catch my breath, blood rushing through my ears. My heart pounds- and my hands are shaking slightly with adrenaline. I stare at the two boys lying on the floor before my eyes catch the third, rolling around slightly on the concrete.

 

_Jungkook._

 

I quickly rush over to him, kneeling down as my hand grabs his arm and I help him sit up, eyes wide.

 

"Jungkook? Are you okay?" I ask quickly, eyes anxious. I glance all over his face- seeing swelling and bruising already starting around his cheek and jaw.

 

He blinks slowly at me a couple times- somewhat dazed, but [he eventually answers](https://66.media.tumblr.com/28cb0671666041f01b94536f2fcf9201/tumblr_oxb7dwaWsn1wn7g2mo1_400.gif), "...I'm fine. I think. I just..."

 

He leans forward, rubbing his face and I lean back slightly- giving him some space.

 

_He got punched pretty hard. His head must be stuffy. Everything must be disorienting._

 

_Plus- that fight was pretty sudden. He must be spooked._

 

I want to give him more time to catch his bearings- but I didn't want to stick around in case one of the boys decided they still had a little fight left in them.

 

I put my hand on Jungkook's shoulder again and mumble, "Jungkook, we should go home now."

 

Jungkook nods slightly in response and I slowly put my arm around him and pull him up. I glance around- and that's when [I see a police car pull up to the curb.](https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/KuuH4apCHKpfVOcVCjBy1g--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjtzbT0xO3c9MTI4MDtoPTk2MA--/http://media.zenfs.com/en/homerun/feed_manager_auto_publish_494/c44eea6b6f3df8568aa6c42d62a7449b)

 

The officer gets out quickly.

 

"Freeze," he demands as he walks over to us. He glances briefly at the mess- the boys laying on the ground and the pills- and then looks at me.

 

"I'm going to have to take you in."

 

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it for this update!
> 
> Sorry for the semi-long timeskip, but I hoped that I summarized it fairly well. I feel like it would have been fairly repetitive had I gone through the three weeks of recording and initial training.
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed! Stay tuned for the next update. Thank you for supporting Kai Chen! Love youuuuu
> 
> -Amanda


	22. Arrest Me, Officer ;)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April 5th, 2015. An interesting date.
> 
> Why, you ask?
> 
> No, not because it is the day before our comeback is being teased and made known to the world.
> 
> Not because it is the day before my presence becomes known to ARMY. No, no.
> 
> It was the day Jeon Jungkook and I finally became friends.
> 
> …  
> ...  
> ...
> 
>  
> 
> I put my hand on Jungkook's shoulder again and mumble, "Jungkook, we should go home now."
> 
> Jungkook nods slightly in response and I slowly put my arm around him and pull him up. I glance around- and that's when I see a police car pull up to the curb.
> 
> The officer gets out quickly.
> 
> "Freeze," he demands as he walks over to us. He glances briefly at the mess- the boys laying on the ground and the pills- and then looks at me.
> 
> "I'm going to have to take you in."

**Chapter 22: Arrest Me, Officer ;) :**

The police officer gets out of his patrol car, takes one look at the scene, and faces grimly towards me.

 

"I'm going to have to take you in," he states, stepping forward to move closer to us.

 

My jaw drops open and [I stare at him](https://koreaboo-cdn.storage.googleapis.com/2017/06/cha-eun-woo-8.jpg), still holding Jungkook up next to me.

 

The officer stares at us for a few more moments before moving his shoulder up so he can speak into his radio. His eyes stay trained on us as he presses a button and it beeps, indicating that it's on.

 

"Hello, it seems we have an incident of some gang activity down here. I'm taking into custody four males- two badly beaten, one somewhat hurt, and one unharmed. There seems to be drugs involved," he informs and I blink rapidly. 

 

_He couldn't possibly be talking about us._

 

_He was describing some kind of foreign situation. Gang activity? Drugs?!_

 

Then, as I see my [Advil pills ](https://thumbs.dreamstime.com/t/ibuprofen-pills-8914926.jpg)scattered around me on the sidewalk, it hits me. And I bust out laughing, relieved.

 

"Sir- sir this is my Advil!" I quickly tell him, happy to dismiss the misunderstanding. "And we're not gang members! Those two guys just jumped my friend and I defended him!"

 

I smile brightly at him, shifting from side to side as I wait for him to laugh along.

 

But he doesn't.

 

The officer just glares at me, not amused.

 

"Stop laughing and stay still!" he yells, not even bothering to listen to a word I say.

 

My laughing teeters off and I slowly begin to realize the gravity of this situation.

 

It starts to crush me.

 

_He's not listening._

 

_Am I seriously going to prison?!_

 

_Oh sh-. Oh fuck._

 

I quickly, but gently put Jungkook down so he is sitting on the curb. I need my full attention to get us out of this situation. I just need to force the cop to see the truth. With my charm. Easy.

 

I glance down at Jungkook as I completely let go of him.

 

"Are you going to be okay right here?" I ask him quietly.

 

He just puts a hand to his head, sighing and grumbling. He shakes his head tiredly, looking down.

[ _He's still out of it._ ](https://justonemoreepisode.files.wordpress.com/2015/04/screenshot-29.png?w=584)

 

_I'll take it as a yes._

 

[I turn towards the police officer](http://couch-kimchi.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/MIGBe.jpg) and try to sound reasonable.

 

"Sir, my-" I try, but he stops me as he puts a hand out.

 

"You have the right to remain silent," he tells me as he pulls out handcuffs and my eyes go wide.

 

_Wh- what is this?!_

 

_What is happening?_

 

I stumble back, waving my arms.

 

"Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of-"

 

_He's cuffing me?!_

 

"Y-you don't understand, sir," I try, but he shakes his head.

 

"Save it for the station," he says coldly as he grabs my arm and the cuffs are secured around my wrists with a final and dooming click.

 

[I gape openly at my wrists.](https://78.media.tumblr.com/c195468417f67f2efe41b670de230799/tumblr_olltb8McVk1w2fplco7_250.gif)

 

_Being caught in the newspaper looking like this one day before the comeback is announced-_

 

I automatically dip my head forward quickly, trying to hastily flip my hoodie over my head.

 

_Hide my face- hide my face-_

 

"The suspect is resisting!" I hear the cop yell and my eyes go wide.

 

_Wait, wh-_

 

He automatically tackles me to the floor and I land with a loud groan. I'm on my stomach with the cop on top of me. I turn my head slowly to the side, my cheek squished against the floor as I grunt. My eyes zero in on one of my Advil's.

 

_I didn't waste all of my money for nothing._

 

[I stick my tongue out](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/953471047713607680/0edDF213_400x400.jpg), urging it to reach.

 

_A little further... further..._

 

My tongue brushes against the pill and pulls it into my mouth like a chameleon. I dry swallow it, knowing my headache will only get worse if I don't. This situation is headache inducing to say the least.

 

I just so happen to be next to Jungkook, who is staring down at me as he continues to sit on the ground.

 

He looks at me slowly, dazed, then huffs [an amused laugh](https://media1.tenor.com/images/f8eb0f9fa1ec135cea2df54f5e13f3c9/tenor.gif?itemid=5235347).

 

"Kai... you idiot," he says endearingly- and all I can do is [yet again stare with my mouth open](https://78.media.tumblr.com/c195468417f67f2efe41b670de230799/tumblr_olltb8McVk1w2fplco7_250.gif) as I get pulled into the cop car and strapped in there.

 

_What...?_

 

_Did he just laugh at me? Nicely?_

 

_How hard did he hit his head?_

...

...

...

 

[I sit at a desk in the police station](https://www.allkpop.com/upload/2016/11/af_org/astro-cha-eun-woo_1480111673_af_org.jpg), with Jungkook curled up into a ball in the seat next to me. The other two boys were sent- _oops_ \- to the hospital, rather than to the police station.

 

"So... you're meaning to tell me that this was a misunderstanding?" the cop asks slowly, his eyebrows furrowing as he types up a police report.

 

"Yes, that's exactly what I mean!" I exclaim with frustration as I slam my hands against the desk. "The pills on the ground were Advil! They spilled out when I ran to defend my friend, who was getting beat up because earlier he pointed out one of them stealing!"

 

The cop stares at me like I'm stupid.

 

"Oh!" he says like it was the most obvious thing in the world, then frowns in confusion.

 

"Why didn't you just tell me that earlier before I arrested you?" he asks innocently.

 

I throw my still cuffed hands in the air in disbelief, literally almost screaming in anger.

 

"I tried to!" I exclaim, sitting up straighter in my seat. [Jungkook just sighs and shifts, head still ducked down](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DH5QrLzV0AEhrCP.jpg). The lights must hurt his eyes.

 

I then hear someone clear their throat behind me and I turn around.

 

_Oh._

 

_Oh no._

 

I automatically break into a charming smile. "Mr. Bang PD, sir, I can explain," I say quickly as he angrily walks over to the police desk.

 

[He turns to stare at me](https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cbe2f57eac2282db60bce4d274337b357aa308a8198f23f5d5ab09b66f159eaf.jpg), eyes flaming and he snaps his fingers at me a couple times like I am a dog.

 

"You, be quiet. Right now," he demands, before turning to the police and going in full manager mode.

 

"These are minors, they cannot be handling this by themselves. I currently have legal authority over both of them. I already heard what had happened. My boys were assaulted and they defended themselves. We won't press charges against the other two boys, but only if they agree to sign a non-disclosure form stating they will not tell anyone what has happened. If they refuse, assure them that we will press charges for assault and it will go on their permanent record. I believe you have everything you need," Bang PD said, before nodding sternly to Jungkook and I as we both shamefully stood up. Well, more like I dragged Jungkook up as he did his best to look obedient.

 

"Out to the van, now," Bang PD says through gritted teeth and I again smile sheepishly as I pull Jungkook along outside.

 

Bang PD only turns back once to give the officer his card before walking out behind us. Once we're all in the van, Bang PD drives us back to the building in silence.

 

A whole five minutes pass before the first word is said.

 

"Kai..." [Bang PD says quietly before hitting the steering wheel and growing louder](https://pa1.narvii.com/6549/9e21cdc8102abf7c02140bccc5ee11776a39729f_hq.gif), "We have an important day tomorrow! People are finding out we're having a comeback. And not only that, but with an eighth member! Imagine if in the newspapers it got out you were already causing members of BTS to be arrested!"

 

"Mr. Bang," Jungkook interrupted quietly, looking over now. He had been spacing out- no doubt from getting punched. "It wasn't Kai's fault. He was just defending me. It was some kids from school. I had provoked them in the first place."

 

I look over at Jungkook- for the second time today with my mouth wide open.

 

_Did he just defend me? Nicely?_

 

_Seriously, is he concussed? Did he lose his memory?_

 

Bang PD seems equally as surprised about this as I am. It was no secret Jungkook and I had not been getting along.

 

I raise my hand, eyes wide.

 

"Yes, Kai?" Bang PD asks, sighing. 

 

"Sir, I think Jungkook needs to go to the hospital-"

 

Jungkook just scoffed, smiling in amusement and he shook his head slightly as he looked at Bang PD to continue their conversation.

 

Bang PD seemed to take the hint, ignoring me and he continued to talk to Jungkook.

 

"I know that Kai was defending you- okay, but the point is that you boys cannot get in these situations. It would have been better to run. What if an ARMY happened to be walking down the street while you guys were fighting? You have to think about how your actions reflect poorly not only on yourselves or this company, but all of the members in BTS. This is their careers," Bang PD explains- seriously, but with less anger now.

 

[Jungkook and I both guiltily look down into our laps](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B9xLa8MCcAExMeC.jpg). Bang PD touched a nerve.

 

_I hope that none of the other members are affected by this..._

 

"Sorry, sir, I just... when I saw Jungkook getting beaten up I..." I try to explain, but clench my jaw at the thought and shake my head. I am already feeling angry just talking about it. I see Jungkook looking up at me- somewhat startled.

 

"It is partially my fault as well. Both of you boys are becoming more popular and attracting more attention- which is both good and bad. I felt it was morally right to try and keep both of you within regular high school until you graduate, but for the time being it seems to me that online schooling might make more sense," Bang PD admits, still staring at the road.

 

_Fuck yes._

 

_Does this mean no more going to school?_

 

_Bang PD seems guilty about making that decision, but I am over the moon. Yeah, I made some acquaintances, but I had everyone and everything I needed inside of Big Hit._

 

_It pissed me off to no end to have to sit in a desk every day while I knew it was taking up time I could be using to chase my dreams._

 

_Now, I could focus._

 

The car was again silent as we pulled into the parking lot of the Big Hit building. It was fairly quiet as we parted- Jungkook and I walking to the adjourning building with the dorms and Bang PD simply going back to the offices. Jungkook and I had finally gotten a break from the action, but it wasn't going to last for long. Jungkook and I slowly approach the door to our dorm. We share a wary gaze, blinking a few times. Jungkook seemed to be doing better now with the fresh air. His jaw where he had been hit was now bruising and swelling a bit. I cringe sympathetically, but for now we are both focused on another matter. We both turn to face the dorm door again.

 

_There's no way that they haven't found out._

 

"Fuck it," I mumble quietly and quickly pull open the door as I feel Jungkook hold his breath next to me.

 

I practically feel a wave of relief wash over me as the two softest boys in Bangtan are the ones to greet us at the door.

 

"Kook, Kai, are you okay?" Taehyung asks quickly, eyes wide. He loosely grabs onto my arm and Jungkook's- pulling us inside lightly and closer to him. His fingers are trembling gently- and I feel a pang of guilt.

 

"Yes, Tae, of course we are," I reassure quickly, eyes soft. Taehyung's eyes seemed confused and upset. I knew he was very empathetic and thoughtful- so when bad things happened he was really worried.

 

Taehyung sighs without saying anything and closes the door behind us as he pulls us into the living room. [He then just hugs Jungkook and I both. ](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CMg2JO0UsAAu34W.jpg)Over Taehyung's shoulder, we again share a guilty expression.

 

"Kookie, your face!" [Jimin exclaims](https://6.viki.io/image/8ac4f6f564404667835584c2f5c210f8.jpeg?s=900x600&e=t), eyes going wide and turning anxious as he sees Kook's face over Taehyung's shoulder. Taehyung immediately pulls away to see what Jimin is talking about and he gasps.

 

I turn to look at it myself since we are in better lighting- and let me just say, Jungkook really had gotten sucker punched. 

 

Jimin practically lets out a whine of sympathy as he then pulls Jungkook into a hug and he mumbles,  "Who dare touched my baby's face, hm?"

 

I could see Jungkook's face burning in self-consciousness, but he looks at Jimin slightly and pouts.

 

"Some students," Jungkook says dismissively, but I can tell he craved and liked the attention.

 

_He wouldn't able to go out anywhere for a couple of days... Not even the makeup artists would be able to cover that up._

 

_That is what everyone was thinking of in the back of their heads at least- in the forefront was the fact that Jungkook was hurt- and ah, yes, Kai and Jungkook had been arrested_

 

"Don't you dare baby them!" Jin snaps as he finally makes his way into the living room, pulling back Tae and Jimin by their hoodies like they are puppies on a leash. Jin gives them one look before they both start stumbling over each other as they link arms and solemnly walk out of the room.

 

This leaves us alone.

 

Jungkook and I both gulp.

 

Jin turns towards us, a scary smile forming on his face. "You boys..." he starts calmly, then screeches as he flails around, "Got arrested by the police!"

 

My eyes go wide as I feel my flight or fight responses turn on, but Jungkook just seems slightly alarmed since he is used to this.

 

"J-jin hyung, I can explain," I start automatically, unsure on how much he has heard already. If he only has heard the arrested part, then the chances of him murdering me and then Jungkook are very high.

 

"Yeah Jin hyung... it's not what you think..." Jungkook says softly, his eyes widening a bit. He was trying to "cute" our way out of this. Thank god. Everyone was soft for Jungkook.

 

"How dare they arrest you!" [he screeches](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/75/d5/98/75d598fa7e47b5917ced06a5ff5b48d1.jpg), cheeks turning red.

 

Jungkook and I both do a double-take.

 

_Wait- wh-_

 

"You were just defending Jungkook! And the stupid pills! Those were clearly advil!" Jin rants to us as he wildly swings his arms about.

 

I let out a sigh of relief and Jungkook lightly laughs.

 

"Hyung, why were you acting so scary right now if you knew what had happened?" I ask, bewildered.

 

Jin joins in on Jungkook's laughter.

 

"Because, you still got arrested. Of course I had to scare you a little," Jin declares, still giving Jungkook and me a warning look as he smiles.

 

I shiver slightly.

 

_Scary._

 

Jin then lightly tilts up Jungkook's chin and looks at the bruise. He sucks in air through his teeth, hissing. Jungkook himself flinches a bit from the light touch.

 

"Looks awful," Jin says with a frown.

 

"Thanks," Jungkook replies, amused and Jin lightly rolls his eyes as he makes the younger sit down on the couch.

 

"I'll get ice," I automatically say and I quickly go into the kitchen.

 

I stop in the doorway as I see Yoongi rummaging through the pantry. The smell of chicken and rice is filling the room. I smile brightly.

 

_Yoongi is cooking us a meal. It's usually only on special occasions that he does that._

 

_I guess he deems tonight as a special occasion... a time for comfort._

 

_He's really thoughtful like that._

 

When he stands up and goes to walk back over to the stove, Yoongi sees me and his eyebrows raise.

 

"Kai, what the hell are you doing?" [he asks in annoyance](https://media.giphy.com/media/Ub8dAwQ4sVayA/giphy.gif), mostly because he is embarrassed by my smile.

 

I stop smiling like an idiot, realizing my mistake, and slowly walk into the kitchen.

 

"Sorry, I was just getting ice," I quickly explain, going to the freezer and pulling out an ice pack.

 

Yoongi silently continues cooking before he glances over at me as I shut the fridge. 

 

"Is everyone okay?" Yoongi asks, pretending to sound nonchalant.

 

"Don't worry. Jungkook just got punched pretty hard once in the face, but he seems to be fine," I tell him.

 

"What about you?" he asks.

 

_Oh._

 

I feel my heart warm up.

 

"Don't worry, hyung, the other guys are way, way worse," I say with a cocky grin and nod slightly, walking back out to give Jungkook his ice pack.

 

At this point, the rest of the boys have come into the living room and spread out on the couches.

 

Well, that's not very accurate. They're all on one couch. With Jungkook. And they're not spread out at all. Rather, [they're all hugging and cuddling Jungkook.](https://0.soompi.io/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/02081708/bts-8.jpg)

 

Jungkook looks embarrassed, but smiles contently at the same time at all of the older boys- minus Yoongi of course- coddling him and looking after him.

 

That's when it clicks for me- right there, standing in the middle of the living room holding an ice pack.

 

Why Jungkook hated me.

 

_I know. I know!_

 

_It was obvious, so what?!_

 

_I hadn't noticed it._

 

_I hadn't noticed that he hated me because I had replaced him as the youngest._

 

_And most importantly..._

 

_I hadn't noticed that Jungkook could be jealous of me... because he was, well, Jungkook._

 

_But now I knew... so how was I going to fix it?_

 

I smile casually as I hand Jungkook the ice pack.

 

"Here," I say softly and then turn around quickly to go back into the kitchen. I didn't want to interrupt this time for Jungkook.

 

_I'll fix it by giving him space with the hyungs._

 

However, I feel a grip on my wrist and I turn around, eyes a little wide. Jungkook is looking up at me, eyes slightly confused.

 

"Kai, stay here," he states and I tilt my head in surprise.

 

_What? Stay?_

 

I stare into his eyes, a little alarmed and I slowly ask, "Are you sure..?"

 

Again, the other boys seem just as surprised at Jungkook's change of heart as I am. While they stay cuddling the young boy, they all share confused glances.

 

[Jungkook just lightly rolls his eyes again and smiles](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/8a/f1/0e/8af10e794d625eaba365cd8e71e04081.gif) as he pulls me down into the pile of boys. 

 

I huff out a breath in alarm as i suddenly am tangled within a bunch of limbs, but for some reason this is relaxing. I smile softly as I let the warmth surround me and I close my eyes briefly.

 

All I hear is the quiet murmurings of conversation, the occasional sighs of relaxation, and the shifting of the couch. Eventually, I am pulled out of my daze by Yoongi's calling for us to all come eat.

 

Everyone groans and slowly gets to their feet, but once we get to the table we're quick to shower Yoongi with thanks and compliments. By the end of it, Yoongi just silently sits in his chair with a small smile on his face and red dusted across his cheeks.

 

"Alright, dig in," Jin says and everyone starts quickly chattering and passing around food.

 

After I stuff at least three mouthfuls into my mouth, Namjoon eventually lightly pins down my chopstick with his own and he looks at me.

 

"Kai, slow down so you have time to digest," he tells me calmly and smiles a bit as he lets go. I sigh deeply, but listen.

 

All of the hyungs, but Namjoon especially, usually work hard to correct tiny things in my behavior. They often do it with Jungkook, too.

 

_I would be more annoyed with it, but considering Jungkook has turned out fairly well so far, I assume they are probably right in their corrections._

 

_Speaking of, more corrections are on their way right now-_

 

Jin clears his throat from across the way and it causes me to glance up as I'm in the middle of picking up food.

 

"What do you say?" he asks me and I stare at him, dumbfounded.

 

_What's the usual answer to this question?_

 

"Thank you..?" I try, my voice getting higher at the end due to my confusion.

 

Jin sighs as the table laughs quietly.

 

Hoseok smiles brightly as he offers kindly to me, "I think Jin means that you should respond to Namjoon."

 

I open my mouth a bit in realization and glance towards Namjoon.

 

"Oh, yes, hyung, I'll eat slower," I tell him, smiling and nodding. 

 

Everyone goes back to casually talking- and it's a good time.

 

I feel my heart fluttering and overflowing.

 

_There's hope in the room. Excitement._

 

_Tomorrow our comeback is announced to the world. Tomorrow the fact that BTS is gaining an 8th member will be known. My identity will remain hidden... but at least-_

 

_At least they'll finally know I'm here. I'll finally really be recognized as apart of BTS._

 

_Everyone in here is extremely ambitious- the comeback brings lots of things to look forward to._

 

"Alright, a toast!" Jin exclaims and holds up his glass.

 

Jungkook and I are quickly having waters shoved into our hands before we get any ideas. We both share an exasperated look.

 

_Funny. We've been doing that a lot lately._

 

"To our comeback! As eight!" Jin states as everyone holds up their glasses- and plastic bottles.

 

[We all cheer loudly, clashing our drinks together.](https://img.kpopmap.com/2018/06/bts-dinner-party-cover.jpg)

"To our comeback!"

 

...

...

...

 

I close the door to our room and all but plop down into my bed.

 

"Er, Kai?" Jungkook asks, voice awkward.

 

I open my eyes sluggishly as I roll over, trying to see what has him worked up.

 

"Hm?" I ask, yawning,

 

_God, I'm ready to knock out right now-_

 

"You're uh... in my bed," [he states awkwardly.](https://i.pinimg.com/236x/2f/a2/98/2fa298641facd7c1e32bd68d44f1117f.jpg)

 

_I'm up._

 

I sit up quickly, suddenly no longer sleepy.

 

_Of course, I'm on the top bunk. I knew it wasn't that easy to get into bed-_

 

"Oh shit!" I say in English before I can stop myself, and Jungkook just seems to blink in confusion from the sudden language change.

 

"U-uh," I stammer, worried, "Sorry Jungkook. I was so tired I spaced. I'm getting up right now!"

 

_God- Kai, you idiot!_

 

_Way to try and make him not hate you! You're literally taking his bed!_

 

_This is so embarrassing... Jesus..._

 

I feel my face burn and my heart thump painfully as I try and get out of the thick covers.

 

Jungkook eventually just puts a hand on my shoulder and I stop my frantic actions, looking up quickly.

 

"Uh, you're fine, dude. You can stay," Jungkook says awkwardly before lying down next to me without saying another word.

 

He is carefully not touching me at all and I stare down at him with wide eyes.

 

_Uhm..._

 

I slowly lie down, literally dumbfounded. There is a long, long period of awkward silence. The tension between us to move or to say something or to even breathe is strong. 

 

_That's it... I cant handle this!_

 

"So... Jungkook," I say dumbly as I roll on my side to be facing him, "How does your face feel?"

 

Jungkook seems to perk up slightly at the sound of my voice and eventually rolls on his side to face me too.

 

"It feels better after the ice..." Jungkook replies awkwardly and then there is nothing more said for a couple seconds until he finally adds on, "...Thank you. For everything."

 

I raise my eyebrows slightly and just reply, "No need to thank me. I would of course fight anyone for you. You're my fellow member. And f-..."

 

I stop myself.

 

_We aren't friends... He hates me._

 

_More like, forced acquainta-_

 

"Friend. I'm your friend," Jungkook affirms.

 

I stare at him, blinking rapidly.

 

_Friends?_

 

Jungkook continues to stare at me,[ eyes somewhat guilty and he swallows thickly](https://68.media.tumblr.com/47faedcf4779ad6ed99e3fb72443e183/tumblr_okcghawhug1te6x9mo1_500.gif). "Look Kai, I'm so sorry. I don't want you to doubt that we're friends. Especially not after all of this has happened. You're a great person... I was only angry because the hyungs really really seemed to like you and I felt like I was being replaced. I've never not been the youngest before..."

 

I felt a slight bit of pride well up inside of me and I tried not to grin.

 

_So, I did guess right!_

 

_Holy shit-_

 

"Jungkook, I could never replace you... You're very special to them. You grew up with them and went through all kinds of hardships with them. They still view you as their 'baby'," I comfort, sighing as I continue to lie on my side.

 

"I- I know that now. I just wish that I had noticed it earlier and trusted them more..." Jungkook says regretfully. 

 

I try not to laugh as I respond, "I know, right? You literally had to get sucker punched in the face to realize tha-"

 

Jungkook shoots me a warning glare, eyes sparkling slightly in a mix of amusement and annoyance. 

 

"Careful, Kai," he warns with [a thin smile](http://pm1.narvii.com/5822/940567bd9d3808e5ee2acafaaa1ebb6fb15bad40_hq.jpg).

 

I laugh apologetically and nod, shutting up.

 

_Too soon for jokes... got it._

 

"Anyways... it's not to say that you can't get close to the boys. I know you'll have different relationships with each of them. Not in place of mine, just with mine. So, don't worry. And I hope we can /continue/ to be friends too," Jungkook says, nodding at me.

 

_Friends..._

 

_It sounds so nice when he says it._

 

My heart and shoulders feel lighter all at once. Having Jungkook dislike me was really a big stress of mine these days...

 

"Of course,"[I affirm with a bright smile,](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DdWV2wCVwAAixJE.jpg) nodding my head.

 

Jungkook smiles softly and nods one more time.

 

_If I'm not mistaken, he seems just as relieved as I do..._

 

"Alright then," he says abruptly, turning off the lamp. "Goodnight."

 

_Huh?_

 

"Er... Jungkook, are you gonna let me get out? And you need to turn back on the light. I'm going to fall off the ladder and snap my neck," I tell him, sitting up slightly from his bed.

 

Jungkook just rolls over without another word, burying his face into his pillow.

 

"Goodnight," he repeats and I continue staring at him for a few more moments.

 

...

...

...

 

I lie down, pulling the blanket up to my chin. I glance over at Jungkook's sleeping form warily before closing my eyes.

 

_Strange... this is strange._

_But it's nice._

 

[I fall asleep.](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/95/04/b4/9504b4a92b2d5874068e6b60186fbdba--bts-vkook-fanart-bts-fanart-.jpg)

 

...

...

...

 

_I dream._

 

_Tomorrow, our comeback is announced via concept photos. The news will get out that there is a mysterious new member. I will begin to participate in variety shows and publicity stunts, except with a mask._

 

_I'm nervous..._

 

_But more than anything excited._

 

_My life as a member of BTS-_

 

_It truly begins after tonight._

 

 _When I wake up,_ _the world will know me._

 

_When I open my eyes..._

 

_I'll officially be a part of BTS._

 

_\---_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading! <3
> 
> Critiques, comments, and anything you have to say are always deeply appreciated!!!
> 
> Love you guys. I hope everyone is taking care of themselves and doing well!!! Kai Chen is cheering for you!!!


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